On My Own Pretending He's Beside Me Novels & Stories

He eyed my other hand which was still stuck inside my pocket. I pulled it out and laid it in the open. “There is nothing,” I said, pretending to be as confused as he was. I wasn’t a good actor, I wasn’t sure I would pull it off. Eros could probably tell that I was lying since he’d known me for longer than ten years but Miles hadn’t so I was hoping that he wouldn’t be able to tell. “Maybe you drank too much.” “I didn’t drink.”

But he just sat there, acting as if none of it mattered. "It's fine," I heard myself say, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue. Alex nodded, already moving on. "Now, where were we? Ah yes, you were telling me about that fashion show in Paris..." As he continued talking, his voice washed over me. I nodded at the right moments, smiled when expected, but inside, doubts swirled. What was I doing here? What were we, really? And how long could I keep pretending that being Alex Russo's "friend" was enough? ***

I don't know what he is up to, so I decide to keep it that way. I cover my mouth, pretending to swallow the pill, but actually hold it in my palm. It's a magic trick I saw online and found amusing. I've been practicing it and never expected it to come in handy one day! The man produces a triumphant smile. Obviously, he didn't notice my trick. Pretending to feel a bit dizzy, I lean weakly against the bed with my eyes fixed on the distant wall, trying not to blink. Thinking the medicine has taken effect, the man quickly approaches me.

I say, tiptoeing around the room and shaking the bottle. "Ame." I move towards him, pretending I can't see him but hear him. "What are you doing?" He asks, his voice panicked.

Of the way I want to shift just a little more and press my hips into his, just to see what he’d do. He’s silent, still, trying to control himself like the good man he’s not. And me? I just lie there, pretending I don’t notice. Pretending I’m not melting from the inside out. Because this? This is a fucking line. And I’m about to light a match and watch it burn. To Be Continued...

“Order anything you want.” He was closer than I would have expected him to be, having taken the seat beside me instead of the one across the table. I could have sworn that he even inched his chair closer to me when I hadn’t been looking, but I supposed I couldn’t call that out. After all, what did it matter? We were pretending to be engaged. It was good for William to fully commit to the act. Only, was there anyone here we needed to convince? Glancing around, I only saw strangers.

“Couldn’t confirm details about her own identity.” Another pause. Longer this time. ⸻ Then— “Leave.” ⸻ Simple. Final. ⸻ Footsteps followed. The door opened. Closed. ⸻ And just like that— It was just him. And me. ⸻ I kept my eyes closed. Pretending. Hoping. Maybe if I stayed still— He wouldn’t— ⸻ “You can stop pretending.” ⸻ My eyes snapped open. ⸻ Too late.

I say, the name slipping out and stopping my traitorous mouth. He stops but doesn't turn around. I could see the heaviness of his shoulders as his silhouette stood at the threshold. “You don’t have to do this,” I add quietly. “Do what exactly?” he asks just as quietly. “Pretend I don’t exist… because the truth is I do.” He turns around then, leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. His expression is neutral, but his jaw is clenched. “I’m not pretending anything,” he says. “I’m just… doing the sensible thing…. You seem happy.”

But I’m not about to show her that. “Oh, you’re doing something alright,” I shoot back, stepping even closer. We’re barely an inch apart now, and I’m half-sure everyone in this café’s waiting for one of us to throw a punch. “You’re doing so much pretending you’ve forgotten who you actually are.”

He needed to understand that I needed some privacy to myself and I was going to get it no matter what. "Get out of my sight if you don't want me to reduce you into nothing. I don't care whatever it is that you do but we need to get things straight and honestly that needs to begin now. The only reason I'm going to be a little bit hesitant for you is simply because I don't want to also fall into a trap of saying something that I don't mean. I know how deceiving you can be." He placed a hand on his chest slightly touching his ribs and pretending like everything was fine but I knew beyond everything he was doing things were not the same.