On My Own Pretending He's Beside Me Novels & Stories

The way his fingers tighten around the screen until the glass creaks. The way his jaw flexes like he’s biting back a sound. The way his eyes flick to my mouth and stay there half a heartbeat too long. I pretend I don’t notice. I pretend my pulse doesn’t spike. I pretend the space between us isn’t shrinking with every mile. Because today, I became untouchable. And tomorrow, I’ll make sure the world never forgets it. Even if the man sitting three feet away is starting to feel like the only one who ever could.

I won’t go with him. I turned my back to him quickly, pretending to browse through the clothes on the rack. My fingers fumbled over the hangers, aimless and shaky, but I forced myself to act normal, as if I hadn’t seen him, forcing myself to breathe. I told myself to stay calm. Just keep moving. Don't look back. Keep browsing. Just…keep browsing. But the sound of his voice clipped the air and shattered the pretense. “Remember this shirt?” He stepped closer, too close.

I whispered. “That I know you,” he replied. “And that you don’t know what to do with someone who sees you clearly.” My heart raced. “You act like you already have a place in my life,” I said. “I do,” he answered without hesitation. The certainty in his voice sent a thrill of fear through me. “And what place is that?” I asked. He studied me for a long moment before answering. “The one you go to when you stop pretending,” he said. I looked down, my fingers curling into fists. “And what if pretending is the only thing keeping my life intact?”

“Come, I want to take you somewhere special.” “Where?” “Do you trust me?” “With my heart.” He pauses to look at me again with a look of wonder and awe as if I were some great prize that he has claimed and cannot believe his luck. “We will need to do a bit of pretending,” he explains. “So I need you to follow my lead and play along. Where we are going, I’m not Crown Prince Primus, I’m someone else…” “Oh?” I let him pull me into his arms again, this time prepared for what will happen next. “I guess it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Presley’s laughing at something on the screen, and I force myself to chuckle along, trying to seem normal. I feel Presley shift closer, her body pressing against mine as she murmurs something I don’t quite catch. I nod again, pretending to listen, but my mind is miles away. I glance at Celeste again, and this time, I don’t look away as quickly. She’s biting her lip, her eyes fixed on the screen, but I can tell she’s not really watching. I’m not just sitting here with Presley. I’m sitting here with Celeste too. Only I wush Celeste was next tome. I could get up and sit next toher.

Pretend I was never here. That would be the smart thing to do. Instead, I start walking toward him. Each step feels deliberate, measured. Like I’m trying to convince myself that I meant to do this all along. You belong here. Theo’s voice echoes in my head. I straighten my shoulders, lift my chin and try to look like I’m not completely out of my depth. My steps slow for just a second as I notice something else. Nikolai’s not alone. There’s someone sitting beside him. A guy with bleached blonde hair, tattoos trailing up his arms, eyebrow piercings catching the dim light. He looks relaxed, comfortable. Like this is his world.

He just doesn't want to let me know. I heard footsteps and I knew he was coming. I tried to stop my heart from beating fast but I cannot help it. The excitement that I felt made me want to pretend that I am sleeping so that is what I did. I faced the wall and closed my eyes. I pretend that I am sleeping. I heard the doorknob slowly turning and the door slowly opening. He went inside and walked near me. He sat beside me. I can hear his breathing. I know he is looking at me while I am pretending to be sleeping. He took my blanket and wrapped it around me. I remember he said that he didn't want me to be cold. That is why he put a blanket on me. Thinking that I am really sleeping. He looked at m

I pretended to fall sleep. I evened my breathing and faked it. And after a while I felt him slide off the bed and slip out of the room. I even heard the sound of his bare feet padding across the wooden floor. I watched the clock and gave it another five minutes before I got up. I walked out into Ethan's living room buck-ass naked and scooped up my clothes. I removed his deep purple tie from the pile and smoothed it before draping it over the arm of his sofa, folded in half. I wished I could take it with me as a remembrance.

He hummed—neutral, noncommittal—and the pen resumed scratching across the page. I busied myself with pointless tasks: straightening books that were already straight, refolding a T-shirt that didn’t need folding, adjusting the angle of my laptop exactly two degrees. My pulse thudded in my ears, louder than the silence between us. Finally he spoke again, voice low and even. “You don’t have to do that.” I blinked. “Do what?” “Pretend I’m not here.” The words landed like a stone dropped into still water. Ripples spread outward, disturbing everything I’d spent days trying to keep perfectly motionless.

I then proceed to brew coffee. The bathroom door opens behind me and I lean against the counter pretending to look at an old receipt. I hear him walking to the room, shutting the door behind him. I let out a vast sigh and dropped my head, then dropped my head flat against the counter when the door opened. “Hey lil sis, you okay?” He asked softly with a hint of humour in his tone. He's pretending nothing happened. “Fine.” I said quickly, lifting my head from the counter. I stand with my chin raised, pretending to be fine as I said but my eyes never reach him. He leans against the counter wearing a black sweatpants hanging low on his hips. My eyes what he was working with.