Pampering Definition

Lately, buying succubi and incubi online had become all the rage. I could not afford one, so I picked one up from the side of the road instead. It turned out the quality of this incubus left a lot to be desired. Not only did he have a terrible temper, but he showed absolutely no interest in me. He would rather starve than "feed". Left with no other options, I snapped a photo of his incubus mark and sent it to the shop owner, asking how to handle this particular model. The shop owner completely lost it. "Oh my god, please tell me you're joking! That's not an incubus! That's a demon! The most dangerous kind!"

My boss was my online boyfriend. But he didn't know that. He kept asking to meet in person. Gee. If we met, I might become a wall decoration the next day. Hence, I made a quick decision to break up with him. He got upset, and the whole company ended up working overtime. Hmm, how should I put this? For the sake of my mental and physical health, maybe getting back together with him wouldn't be such a bad idea.

After my succubus bloodline awakened, I made a habit of rating the CEO as "just okay" every single time he satisfied me. It was a guaranteed hit to his pride, right where it hurt. And like clockwork, he would grow colder, sharper, and even more determined to prove himself all over again. I glitched him into being obsessed with me for three straight years. That was, until my family finally arranged a so-called "perfect" bonding match for me. Just as I was getting ready to run, a flood of comments suddenly appeared in front of my eyes. [Eva, are you seriously doing this? If you run now, you'll be on the bed with him forever!] [Poor Arnold. He was in bed this morning, happily ordering toys and incubus outfits online, completely unaware his girlfriend was about to vanish!] [This is hilarious! She never realized he is an incubus and he never knew she is a succubus, either. They were both pretending to be human. I need to know what happens when he drags her back. I'm begging for the tail-around-the-waist scene!] [Run, Eva, run! I can't wait for Arnold to realize he got played and go completely unhinged. I can't even imagine how steamy the scene would be!]

I transmigrated into a dating-sim otome game where I was supposed to romance a soft, fragile male lead. I had finally pushed him onto the bed and was just about to make my move when the long-missing system finally popped back online. [Host, I sent you to the wrong game. This is a horror game.] [The man you’re bullying right now is the horror game final boss.] I lifted my head and met a pair of blood-red eyes staring straight at me. My smile froze. “Um… you look a little tired. Maybe we should… continue this another day?” He smiled back, calm and terrifying. “I’m not tired. Go on.”

I saw a post while scrolling through my social media. [Adult male merman for sale. Hard to tame. Letting go for cheap.] I commented, [I'll take him.] The seller asked for ten thousand dollars and promised doorstep delivery. When I opened the package, the merman was nowhere near 160 pounds. He barely weighed over a hundred. His skin was sallow, his ribs visible beneath it, and his tail fin was rotting at the edges. I messaged the seller, [I want a refund.] The message failed to go through.

Yung bata na iniligtas ko noong maliliit pa kami ay lumaking isang possessive at obsessive na CEO. Sampung taon niya akong kinontrol, gamit ang sakit ng lola ko bilang pang-blackmail para pilitin akong magpakasal sa kanya. Sinubukan niyang gawin ang lahat para makuha ang loob ko—kahit anong paraan, ginawa niya,pero hindi ko siya kailanman minahal. Dahil sa sobrang galit, nakahanap siya ng babaeng halos kamukha ko para pumalit sa akin. Ipinagmalaki nila ang relasyon nila sa harap ng lahat, at may mga bulung-bulungan na natagpuan na raw ng CEO ang tunay niyang pag-ibig. Pero isang araw, dumating ang babaeng iyon sa villa kasama ang mga alipores niya, gamit ang atensyon at pagmamahal ng CEO bilang lakas ng loob. Isa-isa niyang binali ang mga daliri ko, sinugatan ang mukha ko gamit ang utility knife, at inalis ang damit ko para ipahiya ako. “Kahit nagparetoke ka pa para magmukhang ako, palalagpasin ko na ‘yun. Pero natuto ka pang magpinta nang kagaya ko? Grabe kang mag-aral! Tignan natin kung paano ka makakaakit ng mga lalaki ngayon!” Habang duguan na ako at halos mawalan ng malay, sa wakas dumating ‘yung obsessive na CEO. Hinila ako ng babae sa harapan niya at mayabang na nagsumbong, “Honey, itong babaeng ‘to ay nagtatago rito sa villa, tinatangkang akitin ka. Siniguro kong hindi siya magtatagumpay!”

I transmigrated into the role of a gorgeous villainess, tasked with tormenting my childhood buddies. I forced Maddox, Mr. Tough Guy, into putting on a sexy dress, essentially killing his chances of a social life. I grabbed the bottom of the ever-aloof Zane and made him red in the face. I kicked Damian, the crybaby, into the ground, and all he could do was glare at me through his tearful eyes. My aggressive antics only fueled their resentment. “One of these days, I’ll get you.” I winked at them without a care. “I’ll be waiting.” The day they crossed paths with the female lead would be the day I left this world. Their revenge didn’t scare me one bit. Little did I know, the time would come when I would be proven wrong. While I scrambled to get away in tears, he said softly, “Save your strength. The night is still young.”

In the tenth year of my diagnosis with selective mutism, my mother decided it was time to bring home a little brother for me from an orphanage. Her eyes immediately landed on a boy in the back row, but the head of the orphanage opposed without hesitation. "Ms. Lane, this kid has been nothing but trouble since he was small. Just two days ago, he made an old man on crutches play goalie. If you take him home, your life will never be peaceful!" I looked on without the slightest interest. My mother, however, was exhilarated. Pointing at the boy, she declared excitedly, "Then, he's exactly the one I want!" And suddenly, lines of bullet comments scrolled before me. 'The mom cracks me up. Her eyes practically sparkled like spotlights.' 'Our brooding female lead grew up friendless. Her mom's been worrying about that for years. Now she's found this rascal, there's no way she's letting go.' 'Honestly, fate is wild. The mom instantly picks her future son-in-law. In their past lives, the female lead died trying to save him. Now that they've both been reborn, maybe they'll finally get a second chance together.'

After a wild, drunken class reunion, I woke up next to a male model. I had no clue what I was doing since it was my first time in this kind of situation. I called my best friend for help on what to do, and while the male model was still out cold, I left my wallet and bolted. When I got home, my best friend dragged me over to show me a picture of her new boyfriend. My jaw dropped. The guy in the photo was the spitting image of the man I had just left.

The first thing I did after rebirth was follow my husband, Franklin Wallace, to the island for his military deployment. In my previous life, as a spoiled rich heiress from a wealthy family, I looked down on Franklin, the commander my family had arranged for me to marry. We fought constantly, huge arguments every few days, small quarrels in between. After having children, I grew to resent our two kids simply because they carried Franklin's blood. Later, when Franklin was ordered to be stationed on the island, I was the first to stand up and object to going with him. Since I opposed it, Franklin did not force me. He took our two kids and his widowed sister-in-law, Elsie Faulkner, to the island instead. Meanwhile, my spoiled and rebellious self could not wait to throw myself into the arms of my first love, Reuben Sandoval, once Franklin left. However, it did not take long before I discovered Reuben was nothing but a gold-digging scumbag who only wanted my money and body. He gave me an STI and drained my family fortune completely. When Franklin returned from the island with our children, they no longer recognized me as their mother and affectionately called Elsie "Mommy" instead. He even told me he had fallen in love with Elsie during their time together on the island. Eventually, I ended up homeless on the streets and starved to death. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day Franklin was about to leave for his island deployment.