Patrick Star Funny

At 10:00 pm sharp, a food deliveryman wearing a cap knocks on the door of Unit 502. "Excuse me, are you the one who ordered delivery?" Unit 502 is an apartment that's rented out to multiple people. There are three rooms here altogether. The one opening the door is my roommate, William Yates. He has his headphones on and is currently immersed in a game. So, he waves a hand impatiently. "It wasn't me." The deliveryman wastes no time in pulling out a machete. Immediately, he slashes William's throat in one fluid motion. Next, the deliveryman opens the door leading to another bedroom while holding the takeout. "Did you order delivery?" That room belongs to a gym trainer named Leon Holton. He's obviously taken aback by the deliveryman's presence. "Nope. Who are—" The deliveryman doesn't give Leon a chance to finish his question. He reacts by plunging the machete into Leon's heart. When I'm done with my shower, I open the bathroom door to see large puddles of blood on the floor as well as the deliveryman, who's wielding a machete. "They weren't the ones who ordered delivery. Did you do it?" Scared out of my wits, I subconsciously shake my head. "It's not me! I don't know anything—" Before I can finish speaking, the deliveryman hacks me to death. When I open my eyes again, I've gone back five minutes in time before I get murdered in cold blood. Almost immediately, I rush out of the bathroom, only to see the alarmed expressions plastered all over William's and Leon's faces. That's when I'm certain that everyone has gotten reborn. Suddenly, the doorbell rings loudly. A suppressed masculine voice echoes afterward. "Excuse me, are you the one who ordered delivery?"

EXTRACT.. Everything went dark as I felt myself falling, but I knew I was safe. Owen had me.   "I've got you, Luna. I've always got you." Tears streamed down my face as I gazed up at him. "You came for me," "I'll always come for you, Luna, I haven't forgotten my promise to you." "Thank you, Owen, you are my hope!” Darkness swallowed up my world and I was back to my husband Victor, my worst nightmare again. I thought I was from him so I could be with my first lover Owen but I thought wrong. "You brat!! No one ends things with Victor, no one gets out, and I give the final say!!” He pressed my neck with full force and I struggled to breathe. He finally let go and I started coughing, what have I gotten myself into?  "Take this!!” He took some documents and threw them at me.  I went through the document and it was a new marriage contract but the issue was different, it was an indefinite contract. “Sign it at once if you want to see your brother again!“ Am I doing this for real? I guess I have no other choice but to do this, I hope in my next life, I won't end up in this of a marriage. I am so sorry Owen, I have no other choice. I signed the contract and he grabbed my hair saying, "You belong to me for life!! You don't walk out until I am done with you.“ Luna's soul has been trapped in matrimony but do you think her lover, her hope can bring her out? Can love really save the day in the case of Luna? Let’s find out.

Warning: Smut! Smut!! Smut!!! Rated 18. Captured by an Alpha Daddy for Christmas contains possessive alpha behavior, forced proximity, age-gap romance, plus-size heroine, daddy-dom dynamics, jealousy, obsessive protectiveness, power imbalance, and holiday-season intimacy. Not suitable for readers under 18. ~~~ Dumped a week before Christmas, Annabelle “Belle” Evans forfeits her plan to spend Christmas with her narcissistic boyfriend in New York, and agrees to travel back home to Big Bear Lake with her perfect model sister and her nerdy brother-in-law. But a funny Christmas wish has other plans for her. When their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, Belle wanders off for help and finds herself cornered by a wolf in the snowy woods. Just when she thinks she’s about to be torn to pieces, a massive stranger appears—tall, broad, and sinfully hot, his eyes glowing amber in the moonlight. He saves her life… and then claims her as his. He takes her to his secluded cabin deep in the woods, refusing to let her leave until she’s “healed.” But the way his hands linger on her skin, the way he looks at her curves like she’s a meal he needs to taste, Belle starts to realize the wound he really wants to tend to is the one between her thighs. He’s dangerous. He’s dominant. He’s sexy. He’s everything she wished for when she jokingly wrote to Santa for a “hot werewolf boyfriend.” Now she’s trapped in his arms, a prisoner to his touch, his heat, his growl, and the wild, wicked love burning between them might just make this her best Christmas ever.

Giselle Von Howard was born into unimaginable wealth as the daughter of Lord Benjamin von Howard, the richest man in the city. Determined to forget her own path, she abandoned her privileged life and concealed her true identity to marry Patrick Hilton, the CEO of Hilton Group. But after three years of what she believed was a fairytale marriage, Giselle’s world crumbled when she discovered Patrick’s infidelity with his childhood friend, Becky. Subjected to relentless cruelty from Patrick and his family, Giselle is forced to confront the painful truth about her life and love. In a final act of defiance, she divorces Patrick, leaving behind the glittering facade of the Hilton legacy to reclaim her dignity and rediscover herself. But after they divorced, Patrick discovered that he can't do without Giselle. He comes to understand that he can't get Giselle out of his mind, he's deeply in love with Giselle and he wants her back. Patrick was eager to win Giselle back by all means. Will Giselle ever come back to Patrick again?

AVA has always been an outcast in her pack, the RESHOOT PACK. After she was birthed out of a scandal, she was seen as a lowly taboo and she was considered a rogue by the pack members and looked down upon all her life. She was made fun of by the pups and adults in the pack and is practically a slave to the pack. But what happens when she turns out to be the mate of the Alpha of a neighbouring pack? An Alpha that many girls wanted. But she faces a villain, the Alpha's wife who would do anything to hurt and kill her. How would it unfold? FIND OUT!

Since the death of her father, Ella Adams has not experienced anything but cruelty. She has spent her life in pain, being an unwanted omega in a house of her stepmother, having only one hope in life, and that is the one of freedom in marriage. When she falls in love with Alpha Brandon, her fated mate, she feels like fate has finally favored her. However, falling in love with him secretly turns out to be her biggest mistake. Ella has her world shattered on the night Alpha Brandon publicly embraces her younger stepsister as his mate instead of her. She is branded a liar and accused of being an abomination and banished out of her pack carrying his child. Crushed, penniless, and lonely, Ella fades out of the world that has disowned her. But fate is not done with her. Ella is picked up by the mighty Alpha Jacob of the Bluehood Pack and she is given a second opportunity at life. Several years later, she comes back a successful, undefeated lawyer and a loving mother, her past hidden under the triumph and power. However, when she goes to the funeral of her adopted father, she is thrown back into the darkness she escaped, and right into the path of Alpha Brandon again. With the re-emergence of old foes and new friendships, Ella is caught up in pack politics, land battles and deadly betrayals. Two great Alphas are in love with her on very different grounds--one out of regret and blood, the other out of ambition and passion.

'They say when you love someone hard enough, it's best to let them go if they love they would come back, if not that's it' Twirling the pen in my hand I laugh at the statement. I love him so much that I would never let him go. Call it obsession I don't care, besides how can you be obsessed with someone who is yours. Laura Kingston, a force like no other, as stubborn as a mule. She woke up from six months coma, she remembers everything but the one she remembers most have forgotten her. She hears rumors of his marriage to another, still in shock she tries to confront him with evidence. But he wouldn't listen, or understand that he was hers and no one else. Tired of his rejection Laura puts her plan into action. She would get her man back, by hook or crook. What will she do? Read to find out!.

"No... She's not my girlfriend... How do you expect me to date an over fed chicken. Fluid-filled being.... Never!" Bullied, betrayed, and broken….. Overweight Annie had every reason to disappear. But when a mysterious woman offers her a lifeline, she is transformed from a broken girl into a rising star in the modeling world. With beauty, confidence, and ambition now on her side, Annie's path crosses again with the man who broke her heart years ago. As sparks fly and secrets unravel, Annie must decide: will she succumb to love…… or use it to write the ending they never saw coming? Even while at the peak of her career, those seen as angels were the devils. But the question is, WHO IS THE DEVIL?

"If you want a divorce, sabihin mo lang, and I will give it to you." "Tapos ano? Mawawalan ako ng karapatan sa bahay natin na milyun-milyon ang kontribusyon ko? 'Di na lang, uy! Magtiis tayo sa isa't-isa, sa hirap at ginhawa, araw at gabi, magpakailan-kailanman. Amen!" Hope Ryker Lee, the ultimate prankster, is set to marry Elisse Garcia, an heiress with a temper hotter than the sun and social skills colder than Antarctica. Hope wanted a partner as fun and lively as he is, but Elisse is introverted, snarky, and definitely not interested in playing along with Hope's high-energy antics. For Elisse, the marriage is purely a means to secure her inheritance. So, her master plan? Marry Hope, take over the company, and then kick him out of her life. Simple, right? Not quite. There's a catch: whoever calls it quits first loses their claim to their multi-million house. When Hope discovers her scheme, the real fun begins. Hilarious and heated war of pranks, sabotage, and emotional showdowns turn their home into an epic battlefield. Can they survive the chaos, or will they stumble into love amidst the madness? Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughs, schemes, and surprising twists in this comedic clash of opposites!

Maureen yang bekerja sebagai pelayan di rumah Patrick pada suatu malam mendapati Patrick mabuk. Dan tanpa dapat dihindari keduanya pun tidur bersama. Kejadian itu diketahui oleh orang tua Patrick, yang memaksa mereka berdua untuk menikah. Patick bersedia menikahi Maureen, karena ia sendiri mempunyai rencananya sendiri dan dengan hadirnya Maureen sebagai Istrinya dapat memuluskan rencananya. Di tengah perjalanan pernikahannya dengan Patrick, Maureen harus mengambil keputusan, bertahan di sisi Patrick atau pergi dari sisinya?