Peanuts Joke Novels & Stories

"I intend to propose to Naditya, uncle, aunt." Crazy. This is crazy. Please say that this is just a dream. Now! I tried to hold back my laughter. What's the word? Apply? Seriously! This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, huh? I swear! So funny. Wow! If you participate in stand-up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner. " "Na," said Bunda quietly. Chiko still showed a smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit! "Ekhm ....like this Chiko, my wife and I really appreciate your good intentions. And Nana is our only daughter. We don't want Nana to be wrong in choosing a partner. ”Father began to voice, issuing his words of wisdomand I can only nod my head and wait for Chiko's response when my father refuses his proposal. "Yes, Uncle. I understand." "Since childhood, Nana has always been well looked after. Even the slightest wound, I immediately treated it. Because of that, I don't want Nana to be hurt by anyonee specially at his current age, he is still in a period of instability. He still can't tell the difference between really good and bad. " Good, Dad. Take out all your wise words. I'm curious, a lecturer who is so adored by students on campus, his application was rejected by the owner of this standard nose. "Because of that, we decided to ...." Ouch, Dad! Why do you have to hang it? Just say if you -, .... "Accept your application." "WHAT ?!"

She’s texting him her heart. But she’s got the wrong number… When Isabel “El” Watson applied for a sales job with her company, she had no idea a jelly donut would explode on her blouse, or that her grumpy boss would practically laugh her out of the interview. Accountants could be salespeople, she was sure of it, even if that jerkface didn’t think so. So when a lady at the local wine festival offers her a sales job on the spot at a new boutique winery, El jumps at the chance. She also jumps at the chance to text with the guy who danced with her at the festival. Life was finally looking up. Boston’s friend, Chad, never should have given Boston’s number to the girl at the wine festival as a joke, but the damage was done. When El sends Boston a text later that night, believing he is Chad, he’s too nice to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth. But there are a few other truths Boston might have thought about: Truth #1: He’s her boss Truth #2: She just accepted a job at his mother’s new winery Truth #3: He’s always had a crush on her Even though Boston is no longer El’s grumpy boss, they still work together at his mom’s winery. And while sparks are flying as they get to know each other for real, El’s kind of sweet on the guy who always seems to know just what to say via text too. Obviously, things will come to a head. Will Boston come clean about the flirty texts being from him? Or will El figure out on her own that she’s been Texting With the Enemy?

I pushed the crown meant for the future Luna Queen to the center of the table. Right in front of my dad, Leroy Graham, I carved another name onto the cap of the crown. [Delia Graham.] My dad froze. He couldn't believe I would willingly give up the chance to become Luna Queen. Seeing the delight on his face, I smiled. In my past life, my engagement was the biggest joke in the entire northern territory's werewolf kingdom. I was rebellious, stubborn, and never relented to anyone. I loved short skirts, strong liquor, running under the moonlight, and coming back covered in dirt. If it weren't for the century-old mating rule, no one would have believed I was fit to stand beside Alpha King Lucian Kramer. For him, and for the Luna Queen's crown, I changed my ways. I put away my tight dresses, I gave away my wine collection, and I memorized royal etiquette. I learned to speak slowly at banquets, to lower my head in prayer in the Moon Goddess Shrine, and to train myself into a proper shewolf. In my past life, I tortured myself until I lost everything that made me shine. I died a little more every time I lowered my head. Now, when I opened my eyes again, I was back at the moment my dad pushed the crown toward me. This time, I didn't want the crown. I didn't want Lucian, and I didn't want anyone telling me how a white werewolf should live. As for Alpha King Lucian, that arrogant and stubborn man? Whoever wanted him could have him!

During freshman boot camp, my roommate covered herself from head to toe in her homemade sunscreen every day. It made her skin fair and soft, and made her smell so sweet that she drew the attention of countless young men. Even my rich boyfriend led the campaign to crown her campus beauty queen. But only I knew the fragrance she added to her sunscreen was toxic. It would make her skin rot if she used it for a long time. I said nothing. Instead, I quietly applied to switch dorms. In my last life, I had warned her out of kindness. She cried in front of everyone and said I was trying to isolate her. All the young men called me jealous. My boyfriend broke up with me in anger, then pursued her instead. It didn't take long for my roommate's skin to really start rotting, and I rushed to apply the salve made from an old family recipe. The wounds healed, but her skin turned dark and rough. She went from campus beauty queen to campus joke overnight. My boyfriend dumped her, and the other young men avoided her like the plague. She blamed everything on my jealousy. On the day she was forced to withdraw from university, she tied me up on the top floor of a university building. Then she poured a bucket of sulfuric acid over my head. "It's all because of your accursed salve that everyone's laughing at me! You ruined my chance to marry into a rich family!" I died from the torment. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the first day of my university's freshman boot camp.

Ever heard of a “wife for hire”? Absurd, right? Well, it was a brand-new concept to me too. As I stared at the billionaire sitting across from me, one thought rang loud and clear in my mind.“This man has lost it.“ How did I go from interviewing for a cleaner’s position to this? An offer to “marry” a billionaire? The words had barely left his lips before I scoffed, unable to help myself. “Is this some kind of joke?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him, skepticism dripping from every word. He tilted his head to the side, his expression oddly calm. His brows lifted slightly as his sharp gaze locked onto mine. “Is something wrong?” he asked, his voice steady yet tinged with what seemed like guilt—or maybe embarrassment. “Did I offend you? If I have…” “I mean, no offense, but… look at you. You’re tall, handsome, rich,” I continued, gesturing toward him as if to underline my point. “Any woman out there would swarm around you, dying for the chance to be with you. So, why me? Unless there’s more to it. Unless there’s… a motive.” … After being handed divorce papers at the hospital—mere moments after losing her baby,Amber refuses to fall apart. She is not weak. She is not pathetic. She won’t waste tears on the heavens or wait for Karma to settle the score. Instead, she vows to become Karma herself. However, fate leads her to an encounter with him, a wealthy, enigmatic billionaire with a haunting past and a son who longs for a mother. Drawn to her striking resemblance to someone from his past, he makes her an audacious offer. One that could change both of their lives forever.

To think that he was the one for her, her soul mate, brought her so much pain the moment she found out he actually wasn't. The truth came slapping right across her face and she was there, embarrassed, broken and deadly hurted, under the dusty grounds and before everybody's eyes. 'For a man I once loved, I couldn't believe what was unfolding before my eyes. But I knew i had to move on and I did, busying myself with my last days at college for the peace of my heart'. Elva was left with no choice but to move to another pack when the Luna of her former pack sent rogues to finish her. Just because she was the Alpha's ex and way too intelligent compared to her, the Luna of the pack. "Get your lousy hands off her!" He roared out loudly, enough to make all of us shake along with the ground beneath us. Then like a joke they were all ripped off and left into nothingness. "They sent people to kill you, which means they gave up on you! Emerald pack is now your home" he spoke and scooped me in his arms. For a moment I felt like the world has come to a stop, no words came out of my slightly parted lips. 'The masked senior from the college! he saved me!' Were the only words repeating in my head over and over again like a broken tape until I lost consciousness. Living in a new pack wasn't the safe heaven she thought it would be, one reason not being accepted by one of the most respected person of the pack. What happens when something that occurred in a wrong way but turns out to be the best thing to ever happen to your life?

Edward and I held our engagement party in Las Vegas. Everything seemed perfect—until someone suggested a game of Truth or Dare. One of Edward's female coworkers looked me straight in the eye. "I am pregnant. It is your fiancé's baby." Laughter burst out around us. Everyone thought it was a joke—except Edward. After the trip, we returned home. He looked uneasy. "I'm the father of Juliet's baby," he admitted. "Don't overthink it. We were on a business trip and got too drunk with a client. We accidentally spent the night together. "She is from a British aristocratic family. Reputation matters a lot to her. She will never marry me. She only wants to have the baby and raise it alone." "So what are you saying?" I asked. "I am the father. I have to take responsibility. I will stay in the apartment I rented for her and take care of her pregnancy on weekdays, and come home on weekends. "Our wedding will be delayed. We will get married after the baby is borned." I gave a small smile. So he had it all planned out. He was just here to inform me. He let out a sigh of relief, picked up his Rimowa suitcase, and walked out without looking back. I wiped the tears off my face and began packing away all the memories of our relationship. Suddenly, my phone buzzed. The voice on the other end sounded messy and emotional. "Margot, I freaking love you. Don't marry him. Marry me instead." I froze for a second, then replied, "Okay."

“…Should anyone here know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." "I do!" A sharp voice bombed the church. Frowning, I turned my head toward the owner of the voice who dared to object to My wedding. And there He stood. My vicious rival. The man I hate the most. The Pakhan of Bratva! Aleksandr Fedorov. "On what ground do you object?" The priest demanded. My face was turning red in anger while He smirked with his eyes set on mine. "Because this bride is already married to me.” I blinked up at him. Married to him!? What the hell was He saying! ***************************** No one knows that it's a fake marriage. A contract marriage to fulfil the last condition of taking over Cosa Nostra. I didn't hear what the Priest was saying, nor did I pay attention to my groom. The white wedding gown was the last step for my crown. I, Aria Salvatore Knight, was going to be the first female Capo dei capi. The one who was going to make history in the world of organised crime. But my hopes and dreams died because of him. My reputation was shattered because of him. He made me a joke in Cosa Nostra and now it's his turn to pay for his sins. Love, betrayal, killing, conspiracy, suffering whatever it costs, Aria knight was determined to become the first Female capo of Cosa Nostra. It has been her aim since her childhood. But what would happen when she was rewarded with the unwanted title of something on her head too, which would create big havoc in Cosa Nostra? The Bratva Queen! Well, Let's dive into the bloody story of the Ice Princess and the Merciless Monster.

Heron's birthright is to become Alpha of FireBricks Pack. However, after being kidnapped at age16 and experimented on by a crazy scientist, he is left in a wheelchair. After meeting his fated mate, he feels reborn, but is later crushed. He goes into remission. His father, Alpha Hudson, suggests that he takes a Luna and produce an Alpha heir for the sake of the pack. Forced by the pressure of the council regarding the welfare of the pack, he chooses an Omega mate, Mikayla. Mikayla is an Omega who's been bullied by her former best friend and associates. But being one who carries out her duties well, Luna Phoebe recommends her to serve at her son's cottage for strictly household matters. At first, he treats her with contempt and Mikayla is convinced that he hates her. Therefore, when the young Alpha, in a heated argument with his father, announces that Mikayla will be his chosen Luna, she freaks out and is absolutely frantic. Was it some sick joke? Can love blossom out of an arranged union between the Alpha and his chosen Omega? Will the council accept his choice? Or will he discard his Omega and chase after his mate? ^~^~^~^~^ *^*^*^ "I can’t wait to be fucking you hard." Skin-to-skin, breathing down my neck, hands roaming my most sensitive areas. He won’t quit. “Stop denying it, Mikayla.” He raspily purrs, “I’ll be deep inside of you soon.” *~*~*~* ^~^~^ A sequel from The Unattainable Alpha Series and can be read as a stand-alone. You could, however, read "The Unattainable Alpha" for the greatest experience. ****TRIGGER WARNING: This book contains mature content. In the following chapters, you will find description of violence, abuse, rape, death and strong language. Please ensure that you are comfortable with the noted, before you proceed. Thanks:)

Anastasia Samuel, happy go lucky, bubbly woman with God gifted beauty who is currently in the need of a job. What could go wrong, right? Actually a lot can go wrong after she lost her memory in a tragic accident and is now living a new life for three years without any hint of the past. She is living a miserable life where her mind makes her forget every small event which she doesn't want to remember. Darius Henderson, the handsome and cold hearted devil who is also known as the CEO of the Henderson empire. What happens when Anastasia bumps into him and his blood boils in hatred after three long years and claims to be her husband about whom she doesn't remember anything! She needs a job. He will give her a job, as his personal assistant. And things will start to go down. He had broken her heart before and now he will break her soul but will he be able to cure her by giving his heart to her later? ____ "Anastasia! Where are you going?" Darius asked her in a worried tone while he was kneeling down by her with a worried look on his face. The hatred in his eyes was gone as if it was never there. "To work?" Anastasia asked in an amusing tone as if she was finding the question really funny. "Are you okay? You were just screaming in your unc-... sleep." He asked with a deep frown. Anastasia waved his words off with a small chuckle. "I was having a bad dream about you claiming me as your wife and.. kissed me. Haha, funny right?" She said and laughed out loud like it was the funniest joke ever while Darius looked at her with shock written all over his face.