Perverted Jokes

We all know how it ends, the story of the sexy cheerleader and the captain of the football team. But this is different. Every cheerleader always dates every guy on the football team it is a "high school achievement". You know how it feels to walk down the hall and have all eyes on you, most of them envy you, some wish they were you, some wants your man and the few just would stop at nothing to drag you down. Well that's a "high school challenge" one way or the other student see school as a battle field in other to meet up with the high status, keeping up appearances, expressing themselves and getting high. Keeping up good grades is only secondary. PROM, PROM, PROM, that's what's on every girls mind and it will be embarrassing when your girls ask "who are you going with" and you say "with no one", "that's a high school walk of shame". High school is like a bed you lay. You can choose how you want to lay it, what matters is you lie on it eventually. By The story of the sexy cheerleader and the captain of the football team are just like the fairy tale story of Cinderella and her prince charming but the question is, does every story end up like that? Still, standing at the far end of the hallway was a simple introvert, trying to cook up the courage to say one word to her. He could see her laugh at her friends jokes, but can she SEE him?

On the day my dad, the Don of the Capone family, comes to the orphanage to take me home, I show up in a tactical helmet and a bulletproof vest. "I'm not going home with you. You're definitely doing this to trick me into getting married to a perverted old geezer in a marriage alliance. I bet my adopted sister has made preparations to start fake-crying anytime by loading up on her eyedrops." My dad is amused, to say the least. "Why would any of that happen? Silvia is nothing but welcoming you to our home! Also, our family isn't a lowly organization that deals with human trafficking." But I refuse to believe my dad at all. On the way home, I keep typing something on my phone. My mom, the Donna, leans over curiously. "Are you writing a diary entry?" "Nope. I'm writing tips on 'How to Survive the Mafia.'" 1) My food will definitely be poisoned. 2) If I get close to a staircase, I'll definitely get pushed down the stairs. 3) I'll get framed for something that I've never done before. My parents swear to me that none of the things I've written will ever happen. They tell me that my adopted sister, Silvia Capone, has a great personality, and things are amicable in the family. However, everything changes when Silvia brings me a glass of juice before lunchtime and insists on watching me drink it. Instead, I dump the juice into a nearby vase of flowers. Just as my parents are about to scold me for wasting the juice, smoke begins drifting from the flowers inside the vase. Then, they start wilting rapidly. I calmly leave a bright red checkmark behind the "poison" tip. As my parents stare at the dead flowers, they can feel color draining from their faces. "You should send the juice to a chem lab for analysis."

#mutual contain 18+only "you should go to the other room" he said She looked at him in shock its there first night. He was nervous and open his mouth to say something. After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i feel disturbed when you are around me!" It is all he said to her. She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him. *************************** Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color. Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend. Content and /or trigger warning :This story contains mature sexual content. Strong language ahead, adult jokes also. Which may trigger for some readers. You have been warned

Rosalie wanted a peaceful married life away from Aiden her husband a blood thirsty , a cruel, vicious perverted Alpha , after she marries him in place of her sister but things go out of loop when Aiden with his dominating Alpha vibes rattles her wolf so bad - enough to make her wolf and her to desire him. She wanted to stay away from him because she knew he can never give her his heart but unfortunately she is drawn towards him against her will.Alpha Aiden finds his little wife intriguing with her spit fire temper and the way she looks his way makes him feel things he never did . He wants to own her , posses her - heart and soul but the more he wants her the further she hides herself from him . And isn't a saying that goes- the more you can't have something the more you want to claim it ? Run , little wifey because Alpha Aiden is coming to get you prologue :- Rosalie woke after a very long dream , a dream that showed her , her future .Hated by her family , she is sold off to marry a bloodthirsty Alpha,Aiden Cullen in place of her elder sister Anna.Aiden Cullen,famous for his cruel nature having killed his own mate , he lives a life full of debauchery .With a husband like that , Rosalie only wishes to live a quite life being ignored by him and his mistress.But his mistress won't leave her alone and what did her husband means by saying that he loves her alone and will treat her better ? She just wanted a peaceful life! What is with her husband infinite pampering ?

Zoe Grace Langston, a 17-year-old girl, is forced to stay at her brother’s apartment while their parents are abroad. At first, she thought she would only be staying with her brother, Zach. But she was wrong. Zach has a roommate named Max—Maximillian Jones Shepard, a 31-year-old man with a free and passionate lifestyle. Their first encounter happens when Zoe is masturbating in Max’s room. Then, their other meetings take place in awkward and heated situations because Max constantly teases Zoe and throws dirty jokes at her. Until one night, they sleep together, and that night becomes Zoe’s first time. Their relationship is built on a burning passion that grows wilder and wilder, making Zoe even more curious about adult sexual life, which she has never experienced before. Meanwhile, Max is always willing to fulfill Zoe’s wild fantasies with everything she wants from him. However, the relationship does not go as well as Zoe fantasized. What if they had to hide the relationship from Zach because he clearly wouldn’t approve of it? How will Zoe handle the problem with her school boyfriend, Jack, while she’s already in a relationship with Max? What if one day, a woman shows up claiming that she’s pregnant with Max’s child? And what if all this time, there’s a red string between Max and Zoe from the past that they never expected? What if Max is someone from the dark world who pulls Zoe into the same darkness? What if Max is a part of her past that she has never remembered until now? Can Zoe, who is still a young woman, face all the problems caused by her relationship with Max?

Annabella has spent her life as the invisible daughter, the "little mouse" her brother mockingly named her. As the Beta's third-in-line heir, she should command respect. Instead, she endures her father Eugene's abuse in silence, documenting everything with hidden cameras while treasuring anonymous gifts from a secret admirer who sees her worth. For three years, she's found solace in Lucious, the second-born Alpha Heir who defies his brothers' cruel jokes to love her openly. But on her eighteenth birthday, everything changes. The mate bond doesn't just snap into place with Lucious; it ignites with all six Alpha Heirs. A legendary sixfold bond, the rarest connection their kind has known in centuries. Before Annabella can process this revelation, her world shatters. Her father didn't just abuse her; he sold her. A contract with the Moon Slashers Pack, half a million dollars, and a plan to rip her from Lucious's arms and deliver her to another Alpha's bed. Her brother Tate, her supposed protector, helped orchestrate it all. When Eugene's betrayal explodes at her coming-of-age breakfast, Annabella's forced first shift becomes a desperate flight for survival. Six mates who failed to protect her now race to prove their worth. A father willing to destroy anyone in his path to power. A mother she believed dead for five years: alive, drugged, imprisoned. And hidden camera footage revealing a conspiracy that spans multiple packs, threatens the Alpha's reign, and exposes a trafficking ring built on selling she-wolves like livestock. The little mouse was never weak. She was waiting for her moment to roar. Six mates. One truth. And chains that are finally breaking.

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _