Ridiculously Funny Quotes

“Why do you love talking so much?” I demanded with a scowl. “Because I want you to clearly remember that you’re about to get nasty with a man.” He answered as he grazed his lips lightly against my jaw, a feathery motion which made me shiver slightly in response. I opened my mouth to say something in reply but he jerked my mouth against his fast, stopping whatever I was about to say with a kiss. ****** After unknowingly getting dragged into a dangerous mess and being on the run with a man who has a death penalty threat hanging over his head, two things out of five were very clear to Mark. One, his straight ass wasn’t as straight as he used to think. Two, he was ridiculously falling for the ‘number-one’ most wanted person in more than five countries. Recklessly, unhinged. The fact that he had a girlfriend back at home was the last thing on his mind. It was a very reckless and emotion filled adventure for both men, where one had to prove his innocence to the world or forever be on the run until whenever he got caught. While the other one has to throw caution to the wind for the first time, grow past his fears and beliefs and go for what his heart wants, despite how wrong it feels.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Selene's whole world ended the day she walked in on her husband and the man she gave up everything for, cheating with not just anyone but his own step sister. Filled with anger and pain, she decides to drop her usual good girl act and drown her sorrows. What she doesn't expect is that her attempt to forget leads her straight into the clutches of Aries Dimitriou, a reclusive and crazily wealthy man whose eyes were so cold, it sent goosebumps all over her skin. Before she can take a breath, he suddenly proposes a deal. Live in his home, cook and care for his three troubled children and earn a fortune. At first, she wants nothing of such a shoddy deal but the moment she finds that he is the fiancee of none other than the same woman who ruined her life, she accepts it without any hesitation. Now, trapped in a mansion so ridiculously large it seems like a maze, while also surrounded by mean little brats out for her life and an emotionless man whose gaze both scares and makes her body burn, Selene is starting to think that her little petty revenge plot might not be as easy as she thought. As if she doesn't have enough to worry about, she still has to deal with the Dimitriou crazy family members who think their all that just because they are rolling in wealth.

Victoria Carson is 17 and in love with Bruce Wayne and Thera nothing that could make her happier. That is till a summer mistake threatens the he dreams and hopes for a brighter future. Could she ever be able to face Bruce? Or will she keep this a secret even if it's driving a wedge between her and her future? Bruce Wayne just couldn't be happier, finally coming home to his beautiful girlfriend, the love of his life. He is confused and hurt when she starts to ignore him, frustrated Bruce is set on finding the cause of her strange behavior. But is he ready for the truth? As it shakes the very foundation of their relationship, will they ever be able to get through this,or is their love doomed to fail?

Utang ang dahilan kaya napapayag ni Dr. Storm Davis si Judith Dimaculangan na magpanggap na fiancee niya. Ang Lola Anastacia kasi niya gusto siyang mag-asawa na gayung hindi siya naniniwala sa pag-ibig kaya't para matigil na ang pangungulit sa kanya ng kanyang lola, naisipan niyang ipakilala rito si Judith bilang soon to be mapapangasawa niya. Ngunit, hindi niya goal na magustuhan ng lola niya si Judith kundi para sabihin ng lola niya ba 'ayoko sa kanya para sa'yo'. Ngunit, kabaligtaran ang nangyari. "I like you, iha," wika ng kanyang Lola Anastacia. Pero, hindi pa doon nagtapos ang pagkabigla niya. "I like you para sa apo kong si Jiwan." "No way," mariin niyang sabi nang marinig ang pangalan ng kapatid sa ina. Hinding-hindi makukuha ni Jiwan sa kanya si Judith, papakasalan na niya ito ASAP.

Si Crisanta ay may matagal ng pangarap na maging isang sikat na news writer kaya naman madalas siyang tumambay sa opisina ng kanyang ninong na hepe ng pulisya sa kanilang bayan upang makasagap ng scoop or balita. Dito niya unang nakita ang gwapo at makisig na pulis na si Sergeant Alexander Ricarfort, pangalan pa lang ang kisig na. Tinamaan ka agad siya ng palaso ni kupido lalo na ng masalat niya kung gaano "katambok" at "katigas" ang abs nito. Gumawa siya ng paraan para mapalapit sa binata at ng makakuha na rin siya ng magandang article para sa kanilang newspaper. ayun nga lang mukhang lagi siyang inaalat, dahil sa tuwing mag lalapit sila ni Alex ay kung ano-ano namang kapalpakan ang nagagawa niya na lalong ikinainis ng binata sa kanya. Paano pa kaya siya magugustuhan ni Alex kung lahat ng gusto nito sa isang babae ay wala sa kanya? idagdag pa na meron na pala itong "babe". Wala na nga kayang pag-asa ang mapagmahal na puso ni Cris para sa makisig nating pulis?

It's just a simple love story of two persons. A memories, But Lucas is the only one who can remember it because they're too young at that time, a time when he helped the little girl when he's just a 5 years old kid and the girl named anianette is just 3 years old. Even if it's just a short time he feel something...a strange feeling. "Nako nako! nakatuwa kayong tingnan nito si Ania nako talaga pag nagkita pa ulit tayo ipapakasal ko sa iyo itong si Lucas ko". Will he stick to what his mother said even if he knows it's just a joke or will he choose to believe it because this is what he wants to happen,maybe it's just a puppy love yes...this is just a puppy love. "Thankyou Lucas". And the moment when anianette kissed his cheeks. "Goodbyee Lucas" Maybe destiny will find a way for them to see each other again if it's possible. He knows that it's not the end for them. Because it's just a start.

A girl that always smiling, jolly, she wants to be with her friends all the time. Azaria Bryn Garcia, she wants to be the best and make her parents proud. Even though she's always happy most of the time, in her beautiful smile there is a hidden sadness there. Until she met Steven Zayn Xiao, they became friends because they're classmates. "I'm tired of being like this" "Bakit hindi ko ramdam yung pagmamahal niyo?!" "Pati sarili kong pamilya, ayaw din sa akin" And this happened...

comes Dove Callum: weird, always happy, wild, beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes, president of the school body council, all A student and two mothers enters Liam Scott: loner, moody face, hot as hell, brown hair, green eyes, very tall and let's not forget a British accent .. The day callum sets her eyes on Liam for the first time, the only thing on her mind is love, love at first sight but Liam doesn't want anything to do with love or callum..