Sarcastically Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

I come home and find my husband's female best friend, Winona Langdon, who claims to be one of the guys, sleeping in my bed. I bring up divorce with Lucas Gardner for the 99th time. This time, he finally snaps. "Natania Simmon, are you done making a scene? Are you throwing a tantrum again just because Winona stayed over at our place and slept in our bed?" I answer calmly, "That's right." His friends throw their arms around his shoulders and chime in sarcastically, "Don't take it to heart, Lucas. Women get jealous easily. Oh, how I miss the days when we all slept under the same covers together." Lucas smiles bitterly and says, "When you guys get married in the future, remember this—you can't afford to mess with jealous women. Still, there's no helping it. Natania just loves me too much. She's trying to scare me by throwing divorce around. "Listen. In less than three days, she'll come crawling back to me." The derisive smirk playing on my lips deepens. In our seven years of marriage, Winona stays at my house whenever she pleases. I watch with my own eyes as Lucas and Winona grow increasingly inappropriate in their interactions. They reach into each other's pants. They also share the same straw and wash each other's underwear. And now... She even sleeps in my bed! These last seven years were not love. I was just foolishly blind. Right in front of everyone, I dial a number and say, "Dad, I'm done messing around out here. Your heiress is ready to come home."

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Turning she looked him straight in the face, her deep blue eyes piercing into his soul as she smiled sarcastically before speaking "Ohhh it's quite nice to meet an already made perfect father figure in front of me, it's true that only people with kids would know that when a six year old bumps into something or someone they can only cry and needs to be soothed but a person with none can't really tell but wait since you're already Soo perfect how could you not know that?? Wait let me guess it's because you don't have any right!!! Ohh wait I forgot to add that people like don't deserve to be fathers and should be put off the list, let's go baby before someone corrupts your soul" she finished before she turned and left, leaving him dumbfounded. Everyone including his bodyguards were shocked and some had even captured the moment as never in their lives had thought 'the devil' would be humilated like this ever. His bodyguards didn't even have the gusts to talk to him and yet a total stranger, a woman did... In less than a minute with no atom of fear whatsoever. Wow this needs to be shared everywhere. The worst part is she only said horrible things to him. Put off the father's list??? Why did they feel like she was deliberately cursing their boss "How dare she!!!!!!" he fumed as he turned to his assistant who was already shivering in fear "Yes boss??" "Find out everything about that woman and I'm giving you an hour to do so, cancel my flight I'm not in the mood to travel anymore" he finished before turning to leave the airport Undeserving to be a father??? Was she wishing him to become potent???!!! How dare she!!!

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

Usually girls loves to shop and paint their nails. But not for Valerie Hernandez. Unlike every other girls, she loves dealing with cars. She could even spend hours in the garage. This year will be Valerie last year in high school. The thought of her graduating with her boyfriend and best friend bring a smile to her face. Unexpectedly, a new student is transferring to her school. Once she laid eyes on him, she know her senior year won't go as smoothly as she thinks. What happen when Valerie and the the new student became friend? Will she feel annoyed or the exact opposite? Knowing Valerie has a boyfriend, can she choose between the two of them?

Victoria Carson is 17 and in love with Bruce Wayne and Thera nothing that could make her happier. That is till a summer mistake threatens the he dreams and hopes for a brighter future. Could she ever be able to face Bruce? Or will she keep this a secret even if it's driving a wedge between her and her future? Bruce Wayne just couldn't be happier, finally coming home to his beautiful girlfriend, the love of his life. He is confused and hurt when she starts to ignore him, frustrated Bruce is set on finding the cause of her strange behavior. But is he ready for the truth? As it shakes the very foundation of their relationship, will they ever be able to get through this,or is their love doomed to fail?

comes Dove Callum: weird, always happy, wild, beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes, president of the school body council, all A student and two mothers enters Liam Scott: loner, moody face, hot as hell, brown hair, green eyes, very tall and let's not forget a British accent .. The day callum sets her eyes on Liam for the first time, the only thing on her mind is love, love at first sight but Liam doesn't want anything to do with love or callum..

Hazel Williams is a sweet affable 16-year-old who just started high school. When the people closest to her started dating, she felt left out and alone. Watching her crush with his girlfriend every day wasn't helping either, especially when Theo is her brother's best friend since kindergarten whom she practically grew up with. Her newfound friendship with her school's star dancer, Lee, helped her cope with her situation. But things got complicated when her long-time crush started to show feelings for her and at the same time, she found herself falling for her new best friend. Part 2 In the second year of high school, a new celebrity student arrives and turned her school upside down. What started as a student-guide relationship blossomed into a unique friendship. Her troubled new friend not only stirs the situations at school but also her relationship with her boyfriend. When her first-ever relationship finally came to an end, her old crush came back into her life for the Summer and they were tempted to rekindle their feelings for each other the year before. This story is still ongoing, read on to find out what happens next. Part 2 is currently only available on GoodNovel.

Due to her manly name, Ryan, a 23-year-old woman, was forced to live in the same house with five billionaires - Terban, Kyle, Chaylen, Slyvester, and Vincent. She thought everything will go smoothly if she stays away from these men who always fight each other. Until one day, the handsome men started to act weirdly around Ryan. Will she be able to survive in the house with five hot guys who stare at her as if she's a lamb in the den of the Wolves?