Sarcastically Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

DISCONTINUED INDEFINITELY ********************************** WARNING CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT ********************************** Ashlee is a trouble maker who has been expelled so many times that she drove her parents to the edge of insanity. They had run out of ideas on how to get her to straighten up so they decided to send her to an all boys private school where her roommate and all of her classmates are, you guessed it, boys! Once she gets used to the nonstop flirting and staring she makes friends with a number of the guys and quickly realizes that half of them have crushes on her. Will being put here be a punishment or a hidden blessing, only time and her unique experience will tell in the end. ********************************** "You're a girl." He stated coldly glaring at me "You're a boy." I countered raising one eyebrow ********************************** "Ugh stop staring." I stated before adding "Where can I take a shower?" "Um well the showers here are down the hall but they're not private at all." Matt stated "We could guard the door for you so no guys go in." Max added "Awwwww thanks guys, should I strip in front of the whole school now or when you let them in the showers while I'm naked?" I replied sarcastically "Awe Ashlee we wouldn't do that." Matt said "But I wouldn't mind a Private showing." Max added with a wink

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.

Sixteen years old spoilt brat, with weird quotes from her diary, Katherine Amelia Jones is being stripped off her position as the only child when her Dad remarries a woman with five children, who she develops this sudden hatred for. From being bullied to getting wanted and longed for, by her bully, her step brother.Things takes a sullen turn when she finally lets her guard down and gets involved in a proscriptive relationship with the eldest male of her step siblings.***A mind blowing story filled with suspense. Totally worth reading.

"Alright, thank you. Mrs. Andres... Or should I call you, Ms. Santos now?” They were married for six years, but Lorain never once felt that the man loved her. Now that she has signed the divorce papers that her husband wants, she chooses to walk away from his life. But what if an unexpected event happened and their path met once again? "How dare you touch my wife?" He said firmly to the man who kissed Lorain. Lorain who was a bit shocked saw her ex-husband laugh sarcastically, “I don’t have a husband."

"I don't do business with monsters!" Mino sarcastically exclaimed, glaring fiercely at the lady with a thin cloth covering her face. "So was I with a pathetic human," Vreihya grumbled angrily. They both despised one other's kind because, in their own views, they were both monsters. Vreihya is the strongest vampire, fated by prophecy to bear a child who will substitute the Goddess of the Moon, yet she cannot live freely without the human who is her only remedy for her illness, and when the human perish, she dies. Their foes will object to having a half-human blooded vampire as their new Goddess, thus they will go to any length to slay the mortal and dominate the most powerful vampire in the vampire world.

David meet Daniele while graduating from the seminary. He had long secretly admired Danielle, his favourite. Many women tried to entice David and made up amazing stories to keep his attention. Not because everyone likes her, but rather because she is funny, straightforward, gorgeous, and intelligent. Daniele has become everyone's favorite. Daniele has always fared extraordinarily well on tests and in class evaluations. She receives bullying from both her male and female young peers as a result of her decision to forgo makeup in favor of a comedic appearance. Daniele trained as a psychiatrist and a nun. Her superiors support her, and her friends envy her. She has been the target of plotting because she maintains her purity for the Lord while remaining untouched by human behavior and viewpoints. As a born-again Christian believer, Daniele found unforeseen challenges that led her to meet David. However, she has not yet tasted genuine love. She evolved into an emancipated lady and a modernized nun, which affected her siblings. David appeals to Daniele and she falls in love with him for these reasons. Many women claim for David but he usually denied. Daniele learns how to love David with all of her heart. David admitted that Daniele was his fate. Unexpectedly, the marriage minister offers them the quick union he had suggested. It matches David because he already has financial issues and his mother has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. As they are ready to go back home, they both decided to have children. They go on a secret trip deciding to have children abroad. Daniele suffered when all of her children disappeared, and David had to be following the laws. She resumes her profession as well as becomes a church worker until her children return safe and sound.  

"You almost shot me the very first day you laid your eyes on me, why didn't you anyway?" Yaande asked hesitantly. "Because I felt very vulnerable yet powerful at the same time" Hezekiah answered. " And now? ", she teased. " You are dancing in hell with the alpha king", he sarcastically answered. She laid her head on his chest wondering how she got entangled in the arms of a thug after the loss of the love of her life. She didn't care honestly, at this point, she was just happy. THIS BOOK CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT AND LANGUAGE