Seriously Funny Jokes

"I hate you," I whispered against his lips. Ang tingin ay hindi na mapirmi sa matinding hilo. "You're seriously saying that when I can literally feel you trembling with my every touch," he smirked darkly and claimed my lips for a painful kiss. I moaned in pain and pleasure as he pushed me against the wall. Cianna Juarez has everything every woman could dream of. Beauty and cleverness, riches and fame. Ngunit ang kaisa-isang bagay na hindi niya makamit-kamit ay ang pag-ibig ng lalaking mahal niya, Alexander Malin Del Rio. They have been friends since time immemorial, but he never showed interest on her romantically. She did everything to make him love her, anything to keep him away from his love. Kesehodang tuluyan itong magalit sa kanya. But fate turned a complete flip when something happened between her and Santiago Lopez, ang lalaking noong una pa lang ay hindi niya na gusto. Maliit ang tingin niya rito dahil sa pagiging ulila at bastardo. One sinful and drunken night changed her life in a blink of an eye. Afraid of people's prejudices and judgments, she left Malolos carrying the very fruit of that mistake. Sa kanyang pagbabalik, makakaya niya kayang harapin ang kahihiyan? At higit sa lahat, makakaya niya kayang harapin ang alab ng galit ni Santi?

Because of one night stand everything will change. ***** Maria Isabella Dimasali lived a normal life. She was not born with a golden spoon in her mouth but she is grateful to have an amazing parents and a bestfriend. She is always positive in life na kahit mahirap ang buhay ay nagagawa nyang ngumiti. Denrick Moncuedo is a rich businessman. He was called as a dragon in disguise and some even named him as the demon in a corporate suit. He is ruthless, merciless in the eyes of many people. But deep inside, he is just a broken man. Broken like a shattered glass. He doesn't want to move on. He wants to stay in the same position where his first love left him. Two different person with a very total different personality. Fate will make a way to cross their path. What will happen if this two person with a different personality will meet and work with each other? (COMPLETED)

She rubbed her forehead profusely, "You do, you could walk away and save yourself now and I will be fine and I will understand." He glanced at her and his gaze locked and there was a level of sincerity in them, "If I save myself, who's going to save you?" ***** Jasmin Whyte was a twenty-six-year-old thief who ran away from her boyfriend after she caught him cheating, an excuse to finally leave her old life behind and start over, but when she discovered that she was two weeks pregnant for her him, she began back to her old ways. It wasn't long before she fell into trouble which was how she ran into billionaire Cainan Inferno and her life took an unexpected turn. Cainan Inferno was a thirty-three-year-old Billionaire and the CEO of The Inferno group which was the largest company in the country. He once had it all with money and looks, but his life took a sour turn after he lost his wife Neriah Gomez to cancer. Meeting Jasmin Whyte sparked the feeling he thought was long dead and he knew the only one capable of helping him move on from his late wife was her. He tracked her down and made her an offer she couldn't refuse while ignoring all the threats her past posed to his name, reputation and social status. All he asks in return was for her to steal his heart. Will she be able to do the one thing he asks or will she lose her heart in the process?

**Book 1: My Healing Love (omegaverse) **Book 2: My Healing Love: Mateo's Love Story (available on the website for now! )! Because your love heals me, I will give you all my life. Trevor: "I can't stand men touches." Trevor looks sadly at the man in front of him, then added "and it seems that my body doesn't like women's pheromone either... So I'm bound to be alone." Soon I realise that I was special because I was the only man who could manage to touch him, and he was the only one whose pheromones could affect me. Then I thought maybe we were made for each other. So I decided to love him only"- Max "He is the only man I can feel and touch, He is the first one who can make me smile like that." So I thought maybe he is my healing. - Trevor Max is an alpha, future CEO of the most powerful company in town. He is looking for his mate, to make his boring life more pleasant. Trevor is an omega. An orphan after losing his mother and grandfather, he thought he would live a lonely and painful life until he met Max. Watch as Max and Trevor heal each other with their love, trust and respect. Follow our two protagonists in this love story full of twists and turns. *Excerpt* Trevor's lips quivered "I just don't want to regret this... you know I've watched my mother die because of a one-sided bond, I'm scared to jump into a relationship with someone I don't really know just because we are mates..." "I know ... and I have to say that I'm glad you're taking your time ... it means you're seriously considering me, at least I know it's not my money or my body you're interested in!" Max joked

"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "It's not like we're a couple." He stopped, and stared at me, boring my eyes with his emerald eyes. "If we are…" He paused, clenching his jaw, "then am I allowed to be angry?” I looked at him like he was insane. “Then we'll take it to that level." He continued. "I'm serious. I want you.” Leizel Snow Garcia Waterstrings is not just fierce. She's more than that. Ending up as an ice cream worker in a local ice cream shop, it was her one step of becoming a strong and independent woman. And that's when a cold-hearted stranger came in view. Eion Aurelio Hudson. Out of seven billion people in the world, the two hard-headed people crossed paths, making her "strong and independent woman" facade slowly fall apart. With all the dramas, free food, forgotten birthdays, Robot handling, idiots around, and emotional crisis, will she be able to melt his winter heart with her blazing fire or will this fire be put away instantly? ``` ``` One Blazing Head. One Winter Heart. Two Hard-headed people. A huge disaster. (Book 1 of Hearts Series but can be read as standalone)

Love is the most beautiful feeling in world. A heart eventually falls for a person without any thought. But what happened when a person is made forcefully to love his or her partner. A girl was tied to a chair in the dark room .Her body was covered in bruises and marks. She was whimpering in pain. A man entered the room and sat next to her. He touched her cheek and said," Say, That you love me”. Girl looked at him with blurry vision and said," I will never love a person like you ”. The man get angry and slapped her hard.Girl fall on the floor with a thud. This story is about a 20 year old girl who was living her life happily but everything changed when she caught the eyes the eyes of a buisness tycoon. She tried her best to resist him but failed miserably and tied in the knot of wedding. She was trying to overcome this phase of her life but one night changed everything. She was finding herself now in a more worst condition than before. Her husband tried his best to made the girl fall for him by forcing her and acting violently on her. **Please Ignore the minor error in few of the starting chapters. I will edit it later** Thank you so much for giving this story a chance to read..

If you are going to be BAD, then you have to do it the BAD way... It's pretty simple: 1) Don't get caught 2) Always have a Plan B 3) If all else fails... Run...Run for your life! Everyone has a bad side. Some try to deny it's existence, some hide it and others well...they rule the world with it. In the book of being BAD, there are ninety-nine formulas for world domination... Number one: You aren't BAD until you can walk around the school dressed in all pink and have everyone afraid to approach you. Number two: You aren't BAD until you can break into a certain bad boys house and well... do the wrong kinds of stuff. Number three: You aren't bad until quite frankly, you have declared vengeance against the bad boy. ~*~ "I heard you like bad boys," Blade says with a vivid smirk on his face. I glared up at him, without responding clenching my fists fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "So...?" He says after a couple of seconds of silence. "So what?" "So what do you think...Tinker Bell?" He says emphasizing on the stupid name. His face moved closer to mine and I stared back into his green eyes, watching the fire inside ignite. I smirked, "Then find me one." Blade grins at my witty retort and shrugs it off. "I look at you and I see cotton candy, but then you open your mouth... and suddenly you turn into liquorice," he scoffs. "Welcome to the game bitch, your move, now let's play."

18 year-old orphan, Rose Cintilar, wants to fulfill her father's dream of becoming a stylist. She's talented but has the worst luck. When the senior stylist stole her design again, Rose decided to change her fate and apply for a new job: the assistant to singer, songwriter 'Rum'. But why would an international superstar pick a zero for an assistant? Maybe something isn’t right with Rum. Something about him feels superhuman…and Rose is pulled into the world beyond her own; a world of werewolves, the dark whims and the Moon Goddess; and as the Alpha King's mate, Rose must save him from clutches or the dark whims, or the Moon Goddess would fall and plunge both world into darkness. But why would an Alpha king need the help of a mere human? She's not a werewolf... is she?

"I promise you if Trinity gives me the slip, then I am pinning her to a tree." Just thinking of her sends shivers up my spine and belief me that they are not the good shivering kind. I love a beautiful woman both in my bed and to look at. To be surrounded by ugly for almost a full day is seriously going to put a damper on my ego. But time to push that thought to the side, for our location has just come up on the right. We slowly cruise up the driveway… But as we step through the doorway… And we turn the corner… There is a tall brunette in what could possibly be the tightest dress I have ever seen. But what strikes me the most is her long slender legs that are held up by deep blood red stilettos. Her long locks of hair fall like waterfalls over her shoulders. Just looking at those plump lips is enough to send me raging. I don't know who she is... Colton Cruz is the best of the best, an ex-Marine, now bodyguard to the Mafia world’s elite. He is a man that lives for the rush and danger that his lifestyle brings. You might find yourself on his speed dial, but you will not be the one that will capture his heart. Trinity Stone is a spoilt brat that becomes Colton's next assignment. She is a pleasure on the eye but an absolute nightmare to be around. This lonely and misunderstood girl is the heir to the Stone Crime Family. And that is where the problem begins… Colton soon finds him desiring what he cannot have, the daughter of a Mafia Boss. How far will he go to get what he desires the most?

When nerdy but cute, Miranda Whitmore's parents decide to move to a place called Howling Cliffs, she is not happy. But there's nothing she despises more in this small town than Nigel Vanderwolf, the hot jock who happens to be the son of the man Miranda's family is staying with. The two bump heads continuously, with Nigel's crude sexual jokes and relentless mockery of her virgin status and Miranda's snappy rebuttals and ability to annoy him constantly. But one night after a dangerous game of Truth or Dare, Miranda becomes lost in the woods where she gets trapped in a cave because of a thunderstorm. Feeling guilty of his part in Miranda's disappearance, Nigel sets out to find her. He stumbles on the girl he finds the most annoying, sheltering in the Forbidden Cavern. The two ensue in a heated argument, disturbing the God that resides there. After Nigel takes Miranda home, the two decide to never speak to each other again, thus going their separate ways, only to wake the next morning to find themselves in each other's bodies. Now Miranda has the upper hand because she has finally learned Nigel's secret. Her neighbour and bully is a werewolf. What will Miranda do with this newfound information? Will she expose to the world that the supernatural is real? How will Nigel cope with this magical phenomenon? Will he be able to switch back in time for the great Alpha Trials? Follow Miranda and Nigel in this epic tale of enemies to lovers in the Werewolf Switch.