She Didn't Have To Cut Me Off 소설 & 이야기

She cuts me off. “What!” I was surprised and a little upset about it. Why was I upset? Because she was trying to make it seem like we never had a conversation about this and my feelings. “You don’t have to…” “And are we sounding this right now?” I cut her off. “We spoke about this and I thought we were past this stage. I always told you how I feel about you and that’s why I’m here wanting to explain to you that what you saw is what you should think.” I sounded pissed because I was and I tried my best to make sure that my voice wasn’t loud.

I started but she cut me off. “Yeah, about that. I'm so sorry, I know it wasn't my place to butt in like that,” she said and I looked at her confused. “If you'd just let me finish, I wanted to say that was pretty badass. I appreciate what you did. Duscha can be a handful sometimes,” I said and she let out a sigh of relief. “Well, in that case, you're welcome,” she said, smiling.

“Of course, I do.” She threw the knife on the table, “Continue cutting it this way, it will be perfect.” She maintained her distance throughout the rest of the process. I sighed. If there was something I learned, it was the fact that her body reacted to mine, and she was trying to avoid it. I wouldn’t let her avoid it.

Then, miraculously, a few minutes later, she called me again, agreeing to meet. We met at a café. I stood as soon as I saw her step inside, ready to explain, to make her understand what was going on. But the words she spoke next wiped my thoughts clean. Everything. “I’m cutting off our bond.” “What?!” I blurted before I could stop myself. Then my voice dropped, low and thin. “Why?” “This…” She gestured between us. “Cannot work.” My knees nearly buckled, but somehow I was still standing, staring at her round face in disbelief.

She was playing a game. Using this scene… to put her hands on me however she wanted. I held back my reaction. Didn’t retaliate. Just looked at her for a moment before “Cut” echoed again.

she cut me off. “I understand,” she said and leaned her head on my shoulder. She seemed to have calmed down or so I thought. I’m not good at comforting people but I can’t just watch her cry in pain. “Are you sure he’s not just trying to reject me? Maybe my scent is no good and…and..” I cut her off. “No, your scent is amazing, if he’s rejecting you then he’s missing out on a lot and he’s a jerk for not trying to get to know how sweet, caring, kind, beautiful, and friendly you are.”

She glares at me and opens her mouth to speak, I stop her with my hand raised and if looks could kill, I would have dropped dead. There are a lot of things she hated and one of them was being cut off, especially when it is done to dismiss her. I love her but I don’t have the strength to deal with that, or her. “I need to get ready for work, I’ll see you later.” I’m about a hundred meters away from her when I offer that explanation. She growls in a way that tells me it isn’t appreciated but what can I do?

She’s in love with her husband no matter how much she wants to deny it. She’s glad I left my girlfriend because she didn't want to share me. None of these facts contradict each other. All of them have to live in the same space. Because we’re human and we’re messy and we can’t help ourselves. I drink water. "You're not allowed to buy me any more shots." "You're cutting me off?" "I'm cutting you off." "Fine. One more." "That isn't how cutting you off works!" "One more and I'll stop. I promise."

Did she think I stopped loving her? She stared at me for a while, her turquoise eyes bereft of emotion. “Why did you cut off your hair?” She asked like she hadn’t heard the words I had spoken. “It reminded me so much of you”. “Good. Take me home”, she said standing up. A small smile is playing on her face, but her eyes look cold and distant. “Okay”. I’m short of words right now, and I’m scared too. What if she never forgives me?

I immediately grabbed the scissor I saw from someone’s desk. “If you think that I can’t fight back, then you are all wrong! I am finished holding my patience with an of you. I did not fight back with all of you before and I regret that. I just wished I can turn back the time and slap you all in your faces until it bleeds!” I approached the scissor in her hair. She looks afraid. “No! No! Don’t cut my hair. I paid big just for that. Let go!!!” she shouted.