Steven Universe X Male Reader

On my birthday, Heather Pond’s lover posted a sonogram on his social media account and captioned it, [We’re going to be parents!] I commented, [Congratulations. You can have the baby cot from my place.] The next second, Heather called me to give me a warning. “Brandon Smith is dying. I’ll come back to you once I give birth to his child. Please don’t trigger him any further!” I remained calm and collected when I served her the divorce papers. Then, I packed my bags and went on a vacation in Europe.

My wife, who had always despised lugging around keys, ditched our modern smart lock for a clunky old-school key version. She even bolted it shut during showers. Every time I returned from work, I'd have to ring her up first. Fed up, I slapped the divorce agreement on the table during a family get-together. Everyone assumed I was drunk and joking. My wife hauled off and cracked me across the face. "Am I asking too much? You promised you'd indulge me forever." I met her glare with icy indifference and let out a bitter scoff. "Aren't I divorcing you and never returning the ultimate indulgence?"

My younger brother had stage four kidney cancer. Our parents demanded that I donate a kidney to save him. I told them I only had one kidney left. The transplant would kill me. Instead of listening to me, they forcibly strapped me to the operating table. “It’s just one kidney! Stop being so selfish!” they yelled. They did not care that I was telling the truth. Years ago, I had given my other kidney to save my father after his car crash.

Eight years married, and my wife? She asked for a divorce 99 times. I thought it was just her usual drama—testing me. Then I found out she'd been wiring half a million every year to some dude. Always with the same note: ILU. When she hit me with divorce number 100, I finally signed. I pulled my money out of her little passion project and ghosted—moved my company overseas, wiped my tracks clean. Now she's out there losing her mind, trying to find me.

My girlfriend is an heiress from the upper class of Jetland, and she is worth tens of billions of dollars. In order to test me, she has never spent a single cent on me, nor given me any presents during the seven years that we have been together. She even splits the bill with me when we buy rubbers. After my mother falls severely ill, I borrow all the money that I can from all my family and friends. I only need two thousand dollars more to afford my mother's operation. However, even when I beg my girlfriend to lend me money, she refuses. After my mother passes away, I take care of everything on my own. When I go home to pack my things, I accidentally come across a list of presents that she has bought for our neighbor, whom she treats like a younger brother. These gifts include a luxury villa, a designer watch, and haute couture suits. There is also an audio recording of her conversation with her best friend. "Tessie, I heard that Ethan begged you so he could borrow two thousand dollars from you. Is that true?" Tessa Seinfeld snorts, and her voice rings out carelessly. "Zeke's right. Only a leech would go down on his knees just for two thousand dollars. We've only been together for seven years, and he's already so eager to get money out of me." In the end, our seven years of relationship mean nothing. It only takes a provocative comment from her neighbor, Zeke Palmer, for everything to fall apart. But it doesn't matter. From the moment my mother died, I have already decided to leave Tessa.

I'm on my way to get married when a truck slams into my car from behind. After being unconscious for a long time, I hear the doctor telling my fiancee that I might lose my memory. I decide to have a little fun and open my eyes, pretending to be confused. "Who are you?" My fiancee goes completely still. I'm about to admit I'm only teasing her, but before I can, she grabs my best man's hand without a second thought. "I'm Janice Lloyd, your best friend's fiancee. You got into a car accident on your way to our wedding."

Pernikahan kontrak itu disepakati berlangsung selama lima tahun. Meskipun mengetahui bahwa Steven memiliki kekasih cantik di luar sana, Vanesa tetap memilih untuk menahannya. Hingga Vanesa menemukan bahwa putra yang sudah dia anggap seperti anak kandung ternyata adalah anak Steven dengan kekasihnya. Baru pada saat itu Vanesa sadar. Ternyata pernikahan ini sejak awal adalah sebuah penipuan. Sang kekasih yang menganggap dirinya sebagai istri sah, membawa surat cerai yang disusun Steven untuk menemui Vanesa. Hari itu, Vanesa mengetahui bahwa dirinya hamil. Vanesa merasa tidak perlu mempertahankan seorang pria bajingan. Karena anak itu dari kekasih Steven, Vanesa akan mengembalikannya pada mereka. Vanesa yang sudah memutuskan cinta dan perasaan, mulai menunjukkan kemampuannya. Dia hidup mandiri, berhasil meraih kekayaan. Keluarga yang dulu menindas serta menghina dirinya merasa menyesal. Mereka bergegas datang untuk menyanjungnya. Para anak orang kaya yang dulu mengejek Vanesa, mengatakan bahwa dia naik pangkat karena mengandalkan pria, juga merasa menyesal. Mereka berlomba-lomba menawarkan cinta serta uang. Anak yang pernah dihasut oleh wanita lain juga merasa menyesal, menangis sambil memanggilnya Ibu. … Saat tengah malam, Vanesa menerima telepon dari nomor asing. Suara Steven yang mabuk berat terdengar dari ujung lain telepon, "Vanesa, kamu nggak boleh menerima lamarannya. Aku nggak menandatangani surat cerainya."

On a trip to Chicily, my wife, Rosa Stone, and her first love, Jack Cud, insisted on feeding wild, starving wolves. I simply reminded them, "You might attract more hungry wolves." They turned on me, calling me a heartless monster. In the end, I was right. A pack of wolves really did show up. They circled the car, watching us hungrily. Jack was bitten by one. To my surprise, Rosa kicked me out of the car, yelling, "Jack is hurt! He needs to be taken to the hospital! Distract the wolves, I'll come back for you!" I watched them drive away, leaving me behind, surrounded by hungry wolves closing in from all sides. My heart sank. But, Rosa forgot one thing—I was a great Wolvesmith.

I run into a group of rogues on my way home for my daughter's birthday. I call my wife for help, but she blocks my number. I'm dragged out of the car, stabbed a dozen times, and thrown into the bushes to die. My neck is broken, and my organs are spilling out of my body. The rogues think I'm going to die—they even mention each other's names before me. Then, they drive off in my car while whistling happily. I hold onto my head and organs as I crawl to the roadside, hoping against hope that someone will save me. Before I'm taken to the hospital, I see my wife's social media update—she and her secretary have taken a sweet photo together while celebrating our daughter's birthday. The first thing I do after being discharged is demand a divorce.

After regaining my hearing, I happily march over to the room of my arch-rival, eager to flaunt in front of him—only to hear him moaning my name as he does what all guys do for pleasure.