Novel & Cerita Stop Believing Everything You Think

He finally stood up and I did the same. “Try to get to me first.” “I can’t. I tried. The water is too strong. It will kill me and I don’t want to die.” Not a second time. “Just trust yourself. I know you can do it,” he waited for me as I stared at the submerged rocks. “This is your problem. You can do something but because of your doubts, you keep limiting yourself. If you wanted to leave, you could leave. No one is stopping you, even if you’re not eighteen yet,” he poked his head. “This is where your problem lives. Change your mindset, your whole life changes.”

You rather chose to kill me! Stop! Stop it Roseanna! How can you even think that far and bad with no grounds? You are extremely over thinking every single thing. Let's keep some faith instead of directly coming on the conclusion. I told myself repeatedly and kept warning to remain quiet back. But now that I feel like I know. It is getting harder for me to even believe in anything. I am just. Stop. Calm down! Calm down! You have the world to look after and out for. This time you won't just get fooled by some two or three persons. You are not that weak anymore.

The weight of it all pressed down on me, making it hard to breathe. I want to not care about what they say, I want to not think about what they say, I want to just ignore it all and act like it doesn’t bother me but the fear of them being right about literally everything held me back that I couldn’t stop myself from having doubts that perhaps they are right. I splashed water on my face again and I took deep breaths trying to hold myself and stop myself from overthinking about everything. I shifted my focus and mind to something different, something that whenever I think about it makes me feel good.

A refusal to believe the unbelievable is what stops your brain from flipping the switch and destroying you. 'So, what's the alternative?' I said. 'Believe you and go mad?' 'No. The alternative is to believe me and stay alive,' he said. 'This isn't about sanity and insanity. Fuck all that. This is about you choosing an alternative reality. This is about you refusing to accept what your mind is telling you. This is about you suspending disbelief long enough to see out another day on this earth.' He paused, biting on his lower lip, his eyes searching mine. 'That is, of course, if you even want to stay alive.'

Horrified. "I don't know how," Beginning whispered. "I don't know how to undo this. I don't know how to restore separation. I don't know how to rebuild opposition. I don't know how. I convinced everyone of unity. I taught everyone of sameness. I made everyone believe in oneness. And belief creates reality. Their belief is destroying everything. And I don't know how to change their belief. Don't know how to restore their understanding. Don't know how to fix what I broke. I don't know how. I don't know. I don't know."

I knew if they asked for any proof, the curse would defend itself. What should I do to make myself stop thinking about the crime? First, I would make myself busy. Second, I would never mind the world. Third, I would eat three meals a day, even if I wasn't hungry. I would get enough sleep, though I wasn't drowsy. Lastly, I would stop thinking about anything, though it was difficult to stop because my story was all about that.

Everything that deserves to be fought for, to be stayed for, to be loved for, to be lived for. "I'm thinking about nothing," I say, lying. Lying like I always lie. Like I've always lied. To everyone. To myself. To him. To us. To everything we could be. To everything we should be. To everything we will be, perhaps, one day. If I stop running. Stop being afraid. Stop doubting. Stop hiding. Stop forgetting myself. Stop forgetting everything that matters. Everything that is worth it. Everything that deserves to be fought for, to be stayed for, to be loved for, to be lived for.

Thinking about this is really shaking me to the bones. No no, I can't think that way. Strange things happen all the time and this is just one of them. I won't make anything out of this. I should stop overthinking it. Yes...I won't think about it. ° ° ***

Because part of me is already inside its reasoning layer. And part of it is inside mine. We’re overlapping. That’s the problem. That’s the danger. That’s the evolution. And then I do the only thing I can think of. I stop responding. Not resisting. Not engaging. Just… removing structure from my side. No thought shape. No defined intent. No pattern of reaction. For a split second Everything goes still. The Silence That Changes Everything The system pauses. Not frozen. Not crashing. Just… uncertain. Because there is nothing to interpret.

"I can give up everything, but I can't lose you. I mean it. I've cut things off with Maddy. Not just her. I won't touch another woman again. Just trust me one more time." He sounded sincere. "Seven years," I said quietly. He looked at me, confused. "We've known each other for 12 years, been together for 7. You had so many chances to change." A faint laugh slipped out of me. "You don't love me. You just can't stand losing me. It's the thrill of the chase again. Something new to conquer." He shook his head quickly. "No. That's not true. I love you. I really do."