Tagalog Dad Jokes

"Fuck, you're so tight for me," Ryder growled against my ear, his hips slamming forward in a deep, punishing thrust that made my back arch off the bed. I gasped, nails digging into his shoulders as he filled me completely, stretching me. "Harder... please..." He pinned my wrists above my head with one large hand, the other gripping my hip hard enough to bruise. "You want it rough, baby? Then beg for it properly." My body trembled under him, slick and desperate. The words spilled out before I could stop them. "Please... Daddy... fuck me harder." A dark, satisfied rumble vibrated through his chest. He leaned down, teeth grazing my neck, voice low and filthy. "Good girl. Come all over Daddy's cock. Show me how much you need this.” *** On my wedding day, I caught my fiancé Dylan Voss and my step-sister Helene fucking each other in a room. Heartbroken and humiliated, I walked away from the altar. That's when Ryder Hawthorne—Dylan's powerful, ruthless stepfather—found me. He carried me to his penthouse, and in a haze of rage and need, I seduced him. We fucked like it was war: rough, and desperate. When Dylan walked in and saw me riding his stepdad—he felt betrayed and stormed out. I felt satisfied and vindicated. It was supposed to be one night. We were never supposed to see each other again. Until I desperately took a job at Hawthorne Prosperity Group to save my dying grandmother…and discovered Ryder was my new boss. One rough, forbidden encounter in his office, and he offered me to be his personal slut, in return he'd pay Gran's bills. I had no choice and accepted. Payback became obsession. My ex wants me back, but Ryder refuses to let go. Now I’m caught between revenge and surrender.

Maria Genessia Rodriguez - a Commoner, a simple lady who finds magic in everything that's ordinary. But what if a sweet chance encounter will bring her the most important person not just in her life but to the whole Kingdom as well. "You made things beautiful and interesting, Genessia. You made me believe in pixie dust and dancing unicorns...hell, I now believe that every story starts with once upon a time and ends in a happily ever after." -H.R.H. An alternate reality story. Meet the Royal Family of the Philippines. Witness the glitz, glamour, intrigue, and drama as they find the elusive happily ever after.

My boss gives me 200 thousand dollars in cash so I can pay his workers their salaries. I leave the house to buy some envelopes to put the money in, but that's when my father lends the money to our neighbor so they can buy a house. I question him about it, but he says I know nothing about forging relationships. Even my mother and brother blame me for not keeping my things properly—they say I'm dumb for leaving money lying around when I know my father likes to lend money to others. Later, my boss fires me but doesn't call the cops. All he wants is for me to repay him. To do so, my father finds me a high-paying job. It's only when I get there that I realize I'm supposed to be an old man's housekeeper. On my first day there, he violates me. I want to call the cops, but my father tells me to be forgiving of him. After that, the old man's daughter thinks I seduced her father and has me beaten to death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day my father lent money to our neighbor.

Narinig ni Amanda Moretti ang balitang ipapakasal siya ng kanyang ama sa isang lalaking hindi niya kilala—kaya tumakas siya mula sa tahanan ng kanyang mga magulang. Determinado siyang pumili ng sariling landas, nagsimula siyang mamuhay mag-isa at unti-unting binuo ang tahimik na kalayaang natagpuan niya sa kanyang maliit na apartment. Sa tulong ng isang bagay na siya mismo ang lumikha—isang app na ginawa niya upang matulungan siyang malampasan ang bawat araw—hindi lamang siya nakaraos kundi umangat pa. Lumago ang app, naging matagumpay, at kalaunan ay nakilala sa maraming lugar. Dahil sa tagumpay na iyon, nakilala niya ang isa sa kanyang mga kliyente—si Knoxx Xavier Vitale—isang lalaking hindi niya inakalang lubos na magbabago ng takbo ng kanyang buhay. Arogante at antipatiko. Sukdulan ang ugali nitong hindi tugma sa kanya. He kept on pestering her. Kaya nang inalok siya nitong magpanggap bilang nobya sa harapan ng mga magulang nito, sa una'y nagdadalawang-isip pa siya. Mentioning a hundred thousand dollars made her eyes sparkling of wealth. Napapayag siya nito. Ngunit mas may nakakagulat pang rebelasyon ang mangyayari kasunod.

My father's adopted daughter was only locked in the cramped storage closet for around fifteen minutes, yet he punished me by tying me up and throwing me inside. He even sealed off the ventilation with towels. "As Wendy's older sister, if you can't take care of her, then you should also experience how scared she was," he declared coldly. He knew I was claustrophobic, but my desperate pleas for mercy, my terror, were met with nothing but heartless reprimands. "Let this be a lesson on how to be a good sister." As the last sliver of light disappeared, swallowed by the oppressive darkness, I struggled helplessly. A week passed before my father finally remembered my existence and decided it was time to end my punishment. "Let's hope this week served as a good lesson for you, Jennifer. If this happens again, you will no longer be allowed in this house." He would never know that I had already taken my last breath in that suffocating room. My body had begun to rot in the darkness.

My girlfriend, Camille Chaney, gets pregnant right before the college entrance exam starts. In my previous life, I gave up on my college entrance exam and married Camille. We had a son together. Life might be nitty-gritty, but it was still rather fulfilling for me. When I was on my deathbed, Camille and her first love, Howard Salter, dropped by to visit me. "Thank you for raising our son for more than 20 years. Now, you may die in peace." Camille pulled the plug on my life support at that moment. She watched as I slowly suffocated to death. When I open my eyes again, I find out that I've returned to the timeframe when the college entrance exam is about to take place. This time, I slam the door shut in Camille's face when I hear her asking me to take responsibility for her pregnancy. "Go find someone else to play house with you. I'm not interested in becoming a father at all."

Angelo Ian Diano didn't expect he would survive being hit by a speeding car. He wanted to thank the heavens for suddenly sparing his life and giving him another chance to correct his mistakes. But when Angelo opened his eyes, he was suddenly greeted by a nerve-wracking situation. From being a man oozing with masculinity, he suddenly became a femme fatale, as if the heavens were conspiring against him to punish him for all the things he did in the past. To add to the situation, not only did Angelo possess a body of just any woman but a married woman. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry because of his circumstance. To make matters worse, he found out that the husband of the woman he had possessed is the very person he has hated to the bones. Let's take a look at his story and find out who will be the first to go crazy. Is it Angelo or the one reading this?

One impulsive night, one electric connection, and one decision that alters everything. When Amalia Suarez, isang masipag ngunit ang buhay ay nasa sa ilalim ng kontrol ng kanyang madrasta matapos pumanaw ang kanyang ama. She seeks escape from the pressures of her life, she finds herself swept into the arms of a mysterious stranger. Their chemistry is undeniable, and the night they share is unforgettable. But what was meant to be a fleeting moment of passion spirals into something life-altering when she discovers the consequences of their night. The stranger isn’t just anyone; he's a son of a billionaire at ang malala isang siyang spoiled at rebelde. Lahat ng inakala niyang magagandang katangian nito ay naglaho ng parang bula. Dylan, the one she one night stand with sees her as a threat to him and to his father. Especially when he felt that she could become his stepmother or was he just in denial because she was closer to his father? As their worlds collide in ways neither could have anticipated, Amalia grapples with a secret that could change everything—she’s pregnant. Naging komplikado ang lahat. It hurt even more when she found out that the man she once loved was already tied to another woman. It's something rich people do—arranged marriages. And when she learned the truth, she felt betrayed. Now, she feels lost, as if everyone has turned against her. Her life is ruined, she's pregnant, and she's been betrayed. So, she left, unknowingly distancing herself from them, and decided to live on her own with her son. But when the time came, she decided to go back—not for him or for anyone, but for her son’s life. She wanted him to have a good life, and to do that, she had to go back.

It was something that Lissa had wanted ever she laid eyes on their newly appointed supervisor over the small but continuously growing company that she works for. He's gorgeous as hell. And everybody wants him. Sometimes, Lissa even thinks about whenever she 'plays' with herself. But of course, everything that she fantasies will remain as a fantasy. That supervisor of hers is bisexual and prefers to do the deed with men. But that's until she hears a little something from a little birdie in the cubicle next to her. Rumors really spreads fast like a wildfire. Now she uses deception and lies to get what she wants, and that's him. Blackmailing her boss with his secret, Lissa twist words until she gets what she wants. To get inside his pants. After her adventure, she did not realize that she and Anthony will become friend or that she'll end up liking him. As a woman with no filters and the only romantic relationship she'd ever had with is a vibrator... things change as their friendship progresses. What she doesn't realize is that she begins to fall in love with her boss. Now, not only does she likes him for what he can do in bed, but she's beginning to like him as a whole. But then somethings happened. A new man and woman will enter their office and will be challenging the good thing that they have, Will Lissa succeed and have Mr. Lee to beg on his knees for her? Or will another woman win this conquest and leave her in tears instead.

"I can't feel pain until I met you" Ten Crayson is a son of a multi-billionaire and the only heir of the fifth-teen companies of Crayson. He is special because of his congenital analgasia or CIP-- he cannot feel pain and loss his senses. He is the legendary of the BGW University where nightmares are true and touchable, and do troublesome activities with the three gangs. In a twist of destiny, Ten met a handsome but softhearted man named Krist De Vera who was also the owner of De Vera Group of Companies Incoporated and the rival of the Crayson. In the presence of Krist, Ten slowly knows his past that even Krist himself doesn't know about. He slowly fell in love with him and brings a new chapter of his life that changes how he see the world around him.