Terrible Puns Novels & Stories

Calla Sherman sleeps with a random guy from a bar after her boyfriend cheats on her. The following morning, she wakes up and realizes he's a drop-dead gorgeous man who looks good enough to make any woman swoon.She's so flustered that she mocks him for having terrible skills. She even leaves behind 150 dollars as a fee for his services before fleeing. The next day, Calla finds that her new boss, Mercer Garland, looks oddly familiar. Oh, God. She wants nothing more than to die when she realizes she's mistaken Mercer for a gigolo. He's the exact person who can ruin her career! What's worse, she's already pissed him off royally. One fine day, Calla backs away as Mercer stalks toward her. "Didn't you say you weren't interested in women like me who don't have curves anywhere?" He looks her over and smirks. "You're different from them. I know what you're like on the inside." Flustered, she tries to talk sense into him. "I'm sure a busty woman would be more up your alley. I'm not your type at all!" Mercer sighs softly. "I'm devastated that you've kicked me to the curb after using me, Calla. I'm not even in the mood to sign all those documents on my desk anymore."

Richard's parents died in a car accident when he was eight years old. Life has not been easy for him and his two sisters because no one was willing to help them. His older sister decided to sacrifice everything she had to see that Richard and his younger sister have the best of life. At age of 18, Richard happened to find himself in a university as a result of his sister's effort. She warned him seriously not to get involve in trouble. But his trouble began when he fell in love with one of his professor's daughter which resulted in him leaving school. Will he be able to face his sister after making all her efforts go in vain? Or will he find a way to succeed without obtaining a degree in an effort to make up for his mistake? Meanwhile Rebecca is very naughty highschool student that was terrible at mathematics and physics and has never been in love. Her mother hired Richard to teach her mathematics because he had the best result in his faculty. But Rebecca hated him so much that she could anything to make him stop teaching her. One day, Richard stood up for her while she was being humiliated at school. That made her to start seeing the good in him. Just as things were about to get interesting between them, a very tragic incident happened to Richard causing him to leave school. Rebecca did not see Richard again until after five years and he wasn't like she used know him. Will she fall for him again like before? Or will she turn a blind eye and pretend he doesn't exist?

Amanda's world fell apart with just one inquiry during the silence of betrayal. "Did you receive the letter that came in this morning at your office?" Dickson's charge seemed weighty and unassailable as it lingered in the air. A storm that threatened to drown the promises of a lifetime had arrived in the form of the terrible divorce letter. Amanda's heart stumbled beneath the weight of broken vows as Dickson's icy words reverberated. She begged, her voice sour, "You promised me..." Unshed tears clouded her vision, and disappointment loomed over her, threatening to crush her. Dickson, however, remained unaffected and branded their union a sham. Amanda's fate had been decided by Amelia's reappearance. Amanda began to doubt the genuineness of the years she had spent in a loveless marriage once the discovery came upon her like a cold wave. "You're getting a divorce because she came back? Are we nothing more than a joke to you?" His reply was more incisive and exposed a fact Amanda hadn't dared to confront. She served as a pawn or stand-in in a game of family dynasty. "You were not the spouse I desired... I won't make the same error now that she's back." Dickson's scathing remarks highlighted the hollowness of their relationship as well as the wounds caused by unmet expectations. When Amanda experienced heartbreak, she was given a stern choice: sign the paperwork or go with a price tag on her value. Amanda was left to sift through the ruins of a marriage that was founded on dishonesty and unspoken wishes because Dickson's mastery of cruel words had reached its zenith. As Amanda debated whether to let go or fight for the love she thought was once genuine, the sour taste of betrayal persisted.

"Isla," he called, his voice brutally stern, "you know it was a terrible mistake that shouldn't have happened in the first place. You're my best friend's daughter and he has entrusted you to my care for Pete's sake!" "Is that your excuse? But that doesn't mean we can't feel something for each other," I retorted, my voice rising. "You kissed me back, Robert. You didn't stop me; infact, you seemed to enjoy it!" Isla's dad had entrusted her to Robert Hardy, his best friend. His goal was for Isla to learn the core of handling business under the scrutiny and watchful eyes of a dear and very trusted old friend, who was to become Isla's mentor, and guardian, but Isla only saw this as an opportunity to finally be able to pursue the strikingly handsome man she has had a huge crush on ever since her young girly heart knew what it meant to feel. As she settles into Robert's world as his office assistant, sparks ignite dangerously between them as a forbidden steamy romance evolves. Their secret office affair faces a huge threat from Robert's manipulative and materialistic Ex, who also works as his manager. Amidst the uncertainty, Isla comes face-to-face with the heart wrenching secret of her very dear Robert. As she confronts this secret, her heart breaks into a million pieces on who Robert Hardy truly is. Isla also brutally finds out the most unbelievable truth about her always busy and hardworking parents. How does Isla handle the emptiness she feels, and the bile life threw directly at her face?

I never thought I'd end up severely injured and lose my baby on my wedding day. That day, I walked toward my husband full of excitement, only to watch him rush right past me and straight into the arms of his secretary. Confused, I turned around and saw someone in a wedding dress lying on the ground, blood pooling beneath her. It was his secretary, Quinn Fable. Steve York, my soon-to-be husband, panicked and scooped her up, but Quinn stared at me with tearful eyes, crying, “Summer, I ate the candy you gave me… Why would you want to hurt my baby? Please, Steve, save our child… please…” Steve was beside himself with rage. Without a second thought, he kicked me hard in the stomach. I collapsed into the champagne tower, shards of glass embedding into my skin. Blood poured from between my legs. Yet, they still clung to each other, crying bitterly as if I didn't exist. When the ambulance arrived, they didn't even hesitate to push me aside to save her first. “Forget about her!” Steve shouted. “Save Quinn! She's lost so much blood. She must be in terrible pain! As for Summer, that vicious witch… she deserves to die!” Due to the delay, I suffered a ruptured uterus and missed the window for proper treatment. And as if that wasn't enough, Steve personally announced that our marriage was null and void. He marched straight to the clerk's office with Quinn and made it official. On my ICU bed, I received a text from him. “Pack your things and get out. Quinn wants you out of her sight.”

Part one: Hidden away, Brianna grows up not knowing what she is. Living a life thinking she was human when in fact, she is not only a werewolf but an alpha's daughter. A world that she is thrust into her senior year of high school when she shifts for the first time and finds her mate, the new heartthrob in school. Or should we say a rogue wolf with terrible luck with pack wolves? The two young wolves are faced with not just one pack but two when Brianna's pack comes for her only hours before a rival pack finds her. Part two: Given away at birth, Alison is unaware of her true parentage. Though in a loving family, life seems to not be in her favor. While on a family vacation, they are attacked. Hidden away, both her parents are killed, leaving Alison in the hands of humans. Sent to live in a foster home. She is labeled a difficult child and is moved from home to home until her sixteenth birthday. The day she shifts for the first time and is attacked by her foster father. With her wolf's help, Alison protects herself before anything bad can happen. Well, other than the death of her foster father. Leading to her spending years in a human prison. With her time served, she is released only to find herself being taken by a wolf pack. While in the hands of her abductors, she finds her mate. Only to find he has already chosen another. Broken, she finds a way out, running free as her wolf for a long time until she stumbles upon a stranger who takes her in and becomes her chosen mate.

“Can I please have my underwear back?” He looked at the piece of orange fabric bunched up in his hand. “You mean this?” and then he did the most surprising thing. He brought my underwear to his nose and took a long whiff. Maybe it was the way he closed his eyes in blissful satisfaction or the way he half groaned and half moaned, but I was reminded of how he had shed my clothes earlier on and fucked my senses to oblivion. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you back.” “Why?” I whispered. He crossed the room in large, languid strides and stood before me. “Because I need this as proof that I just had the sweetest fuck of my life, and it wasn’t all in my head.” ********************************************* Iris Carter is a disgraced journalist plagued by a terrible past and just wants to pay off her family's debt. Alessandro 'Les' Scavo is New York's most eligible billionaire bachelor running away from a dark past. He's back in town to bury his father and go back to New York as soon as possible. What happens when he has a one night stand with Iris and becomes obsessed with her? Will he leave her behind and go back to New York or will he embrace his dark past and go toe to toe with Hills' most ruthless Mafia Don over her? What happens when Iris' stumbles upon a deadly secret that can be the downfall of the whole underground crime world and is also the reason why Les left town in the first place? Will she run like she did in the past or will she stay and fight against the powerful organization that destroyed her life and murdered her best friend?

“Please just kill me. Please.." with tears in my eyes I begged for my own death. I am not one to have suicidal thoughts but I could no longer bear the humiliating torture I was being subjected to any more. However my abductor smiled at my pain and suffering with joy. “You will surely meet your end but it will be when I decide your pu"*y is no longer of use to me and my men. But don't think that's the only terrible thing I can do to you. So you better apologize to me and my honored guest before I allow the dogs and horses to also get a taste of you too and make no mistake it's not going to be pleasant at all," he said wickedly and I felt so humiliated.. How did my life end up this way? Physically assaulted, starved, molested and made naked; being offered as an object of pleasure to his uncharacteristically attractive but intimidating guest? I used to have a perfect life. A family who cares for me and a man who loves and cherishes me. He only just proposed to me yesterday and I have been dreaming of raising a happy family with him. So where did it go wrong? Oh, I remember now. I was stabbed in the back by the person I love and trusted the most. I didn't know she has always been envious and jealous of my happiness. My best friend Gloria, she betrayed me and sold me out to a gang of ruthless thugs to be violated and murdered. However when it seemed all hope was lost the person I least expect to help me would be my savior.

They say sentiment is a liability. So why did the coldest billionaire in New York risk everything for the shyest girl in Columbia ? Alex Maradona was raised by a father who believed weakness deserved punishment. In his world, people existed to dominate or be destroyed. But Alex refused to become the monster his family wanted. With his best friend Joseph, he escaped that ruthless life and built SoundWave from nothing a sanctuary for hidden talent, broken dreamers, and people too afraid to be seen. Then Joseph died. One terrible night shattered everything Alex loved, leaving him with guilt, grief, and secrets stained with blood. he was forced to embrace the dangerous lifestyle he once rejected , Alex is no longer the abandoned son nobody believed in. He’s now a billionaire whose empire stretches from New York to Seoul. Cold. Powerful. Untouchable.but What happened when he meet Emma? A shy Columbia freshman hiding behind oversized hoodies and crippling self doubt. Emma has a voice powerful enough to move crowds, yet she’s terrified of being heard. Alex pushes her harder than anyone ever has. At first, he finds her weakness frustrating. But somewhere between protecting her, challenging her, and uncovering the pain behind her silence… He falls for her. And that’s dangerous. He knew ..but he tried anyways Yet love was not enough. Alex’s secrets, deeply tied to Emma’s past and to Joseph’s death, began to surface. The same incident that built SoundWave was connected to Emma’s grief. How can love survive when the foundation is built on buried blood? , Can they choose each other, when choosing love means confronting the day that destroyed them both ?

[warning- Steamy scenes] "Wife!" the man lovingly said. "What exactly are you attempting to do? I am not your wife, Mr. Richard Hill! Behave!" "Stop playing with men, Woman,” his distasteful voice spoke. “You are no one. Thus, I feel bothered by your presence,” Anastasia was cruel with her answer. “I have proof we are married! Furthermore, you own fifty percent of my fortune because I have vowed to spoil you for the rest of my life. Keep in mind that you are mine, and I am a possessive guy. Every eye will be dug out if they fall on you," the voice and declaration were both forceful. "I have heard you can't touch a woman because of your disease!" Ana smirked. Anastasia Long married a billionaire, Richard Hill. She knew nothing about the family or the spouse since she was coerced into it by her mother and stepfather, who exploited her mother in terrible ways. She had a step-sister as well, but her stepfather would never consider putting his own daughter into the fire. She tolerated the anguish and pain inflicted by her mother-in-law and the mistress who intended to marry Richard, but she was unfortunate to be placed in such circumstances. They humiliated her, burned her clothes, and starved her till she ended up in the hospital for a week. However, her husband never came to see her. Surprisingly, Richard Hill never met her or spoke to her as if she were married to someone who did not exist. She was made to sign a divorce decree one day, and she fled the city for five years. Upon her return, she was renowned as Dr. Anastasia Long, a gifted surgeon. People kissed her feet.