The One I Yearn For Novels & Stories

She rubs my legs as I stare up at the ceiling. “Mom, I don't understand what is wrong with me or why I need this so badly,” I tell her. Yes, I have always wanted an epic romance. Some great tale of love that I could tell everyone, making young girls jealous. But what I feel inside is more than that. I feel this deep, burning longing inside for a mate. This yearning that I can not control. My mind ants a mate, sure. But it is like my body needs it. I am feverish and desperate to find my mate. “Mom..”

I was still consumed by an unfulfilled longing burning deep within my chest for her. Ever since her reappearance in my life, I have this unquenchable yearning to have her back in my arms, to feel the warmth of her embrace once more. My heart still aches with each passing moment she remained distant and away from me. Every time I see her, my mind reel with thought on how to get her back for good and each time I try, I just seem to push her away even more.

As if giving us some privacy. “I meant what I said, Ren. I want you back and I’ll do anything you want… Just not that, I can’t stay away from you anymore.” For three years I’ve yearned for her. I did everything in my power to move forward, but I’m empty. Something is always missing in me without her. Like a bottomless pit in my heart that can’t be filled with any material things I owned. “I’ll grovel on your feet every day if I have to.” She lifted her head a little, her chin resting above her knee, staring at the same waters I was gawking at.

Family. It wasn’t just longing—it was a need. “I want this,” I thought, standing in the doorway like a man on holy ground. “Not just for tonight. I want all of it. I stood and admired the whole night admiring the two. I just wished I could slip in between them and cuddle them both. That will be a dream come through.

I whispered to myself, the name feeling foreign now. I faced the moon, hands clasped in prayer, making my silent wish. This year's anniversary wish was to leave successfully, to never again have to hear their thoughts. [Countdown: three days.]

Who makes me feel things I have no framework for — this specific ache, this specific tenderness, this specific fury at everything that was stolen and everything that was lost and all the time I will never get back. I turn and walk out. Pull her door most of the way closed behind me. Stand in the hallway for a moment in the quiet. Down here, in this wing, with both of them sleeping behind their respective doors — this is the closest thing to a home I have felt since I was twenty one years old and didn't know yet what the world was going to cost me. I want it. God, I want it so much it has moved past want and into something that feels more like need. Something I don't have a clean word for.

For me sitting at home on a Saturday night is completely normal. I have a few friends but they are all into going out just about every night and partying. I go with them occasionally but for the most part I just sit at home and read a book. A book, especially a romance one, is my happy place. My friends keep asking me how I expect to meet someone and have some romance of my own if I just sit at home and keep my face glued to a book. I guess in reality it is easier to sit here and imagine me being the main character in the book instead of going on and having that chance of facing rejection. Rejection is something I am just not good at.

"Teresa, it’s been six years since we parted ways, and you still haven’t been with anyone else. You still haven’t found someone you like because you can’t forget me, can you?" He suddenly leaned in, his amber eyes locking onto mine, unwavering. His voice, unexpectedly serious, sent my thoughts spiraling into chaos. Clink. His glass tapped lightly against mine. "But it’s fine, I can wait for you." I scoffed. "And what if I never want you? Not in this lifetime?" "Then I’ll wait until we’re ninety. I’ll sit beside your wheelchair and ask— "'Tell me, dear lady, would you do me the honor of marrying me?'

I hadn’t been touched in the way I needed yet, my whole body felt like it was on fire at the same time like it was on ice. I clenched the sheets lightly, fighting the urge to move, to react, to lean into what felt inevitable. I lay there, utterly still, caught between restraint and longing, listening to his steady breathing as the sunset wrapped around us like a secret. And somewhere deep inside me, something stirred. Not fear. Not pain. It was the urge to get what I wanted, the urge to get what I had been longing for over the past couple of years.. And somehow I knew I was going to get it.

Had the bond of mates been forgotten by him? The urge to release him battled with the surge of longing within me. I yearned for his embrace, for the simple comfort of his presence to lull me into slumber. After all, he was my mate, the missing piece in the puzzle of my soul."But I need you," the words tumbled out, raw and unguarded, exposing the yearning etched deep within my soul. Yet, he remained silent, his back to me, a silent sentinel poised to depart. My hand reached out, grasping for him, for an answer, for anything. "Why must you go?" My plea hung in the air, fragile as a spider's web.