Things I Wanted To Say But Never Did Novels & Stories

I wish I could do something about it. "Because I want you to," Isn't it rightly said for once you need to tell people what you want because no one else is going to do it for you other than you, if you are not going to say what you want, it will be late. Late for everything.

But I knew I could never have it just by wanting it. I had to do more. I needed to do more.

Things I Want To Do (Just Because): Take the oil painting class Learn to make pasta from scratch Visit the Museum of Modern Art (been living here 5 years, never been) Read all of Jane Austen (never had time before) Take a weekend trip somewhere I've never been Learn to swim (never learned as a kid) Go to a concert (any concert, just to say I've been) Plant something and keep it alive Write a letter to my younger self Figure out who Claire is when no one needs anything from her I stare at the list. None of these things are practical. None will prepare me for the divorce or protect me from my family or cure my MDS.

Beyond everything that I did, Faith didn't leave and she never thinks of leaving me. “If you don't want to regret things in the future, I suggest that you stop whatever you're doing right now.” She added. itsclarixass

Something I thought I will never miss again. But I was wrong. It was a great feeling that I didn’t want to bury within me anymore.

His thumb continues to brush back and forth across my cheek. "I've never thought that of you," he says finally. "I won't lie - I've been frustrated a few times, but mostly at myself. For never saying anything. And then never figuring out a way to forget you. Sometimes I thought I'd succeeded, that I'd moved on with my life, but then you'd call me, or I'd see you - months or even years later - and I'd fall under your spell again." My throat is starting to ache. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

I wanted to live my life, period. It wasn’t like I was telling her that I wanted to fall in love, have butterflies swarming inside my stomach from kissing the man I loved or have his kids, because frankly, that is never ever and I mean never ever ever ever going to happen. Not in a million years from now. I only meant that I wanted to feel what it was like to be kissed or have sex, because these two never happened to me, or my sister. It was never going to happen either, if we stay stuck in here like this!

Some of the entries were just ramblings, normal school stuff, meeting new friends, etc. I miss Mom. I wish she would stay around more. Grandpa took me fishing today, and it was so much fun. I could tell he really cared about me. It made me forget about everything else for a while. Some entries were more racier; I was surprised that Isabella had such bold thoughts at 17. I want to have sex. I want to know what it feels like to have a man inside me. When I have sex, I want it to be a little rough. I want to experience it fully. I want to lose my mind.

Because I don't want to stop. I never want to stop.

“BUT I WANT MY FATED MATE!!!!” It turns out, that was the wrong thing to say.