Thinking Of Me Novels & Stories

“Please, Ari, what are you thinking about? It might help to get it out.” And I sigh, frightened to touch this line of thinking that I haven’t allowed myself to go to all day, even though it’s been slowly revolving in the back of my mind. “I’m thinking about Jacks.”

What does this creep really want from me? “Penny for your thoughts?” Jane muttered when I was once again lost in my thoughts. I breathed out heavily and closed my eyes. This is the thing I hate about myself. I think a lot, I rack my brain about things that I couldn’t find the answers. Although I tried to act like I don’t care, still the thoughts linger inside my head, fucking me up again and again, and I know very well that it will just stop once I do something about it. Fuck it. For my peace of mind, I need to do something that was never part of my plan. I need to see Carmine. Well, shit really happens and you just have to deal with it.

I was not thinking. Stupid, stupid me.

Not defeated. Not silent. But thinking. And this time— It was thinking about them.

"So you are thinking about me!" "You're constantly on my damn mind," he growled, sounding almost pained. "I can't escape you, no matter what I do. Your image is seared into my brain, printed on the backs of my eyelids. Our memories haunt me, stealing me away from myself at every turn." He exhaled heavily, as if suddenly overwhelmed. "Not even burying myself in work can fill the void you left inside me when you walked away."

"Because I'm begging." "Why?" "Because I'm never going to get this out of my head." "So don't. Store it. Wank to images of me if you want to. I don't mind. In fact, I like the idea. I like... the thought of you touching yourself... thinking of me..."

Slash said. “What?” “Spacing out.” I scoffed. “I’m thinking.” But even I knew… I wasn’t thinking about business. Or Tricia. Or even my parents. I was thinking about her. And I hated how easily she was taking over my mind once again.

But the way her dress rose up as she reached out to turn on the lights or when she opened the fridge door. Those creamy-looking lips would look so beautiful with my marks in them, the way I would suck those tits that leaked through that sinful material. Fuckkkk!!!! I really need to stop doing this to myself. I can't keep thinking of her or harbouring those thoughts in my head because if there is one thing I know about myself, it is that I always do the shits I think about. I am so lost thinking about little Barbie that I bump my shoulder into a wall. Fucking hell!!!

But somewhere deep down underneath all of it one thought sat cold and still and wouldn't move no matter how hard I pushed. Oh God, I thought. Please don't let it be who I think it is. Please....

I keep thinking of what everyone thinks. Or what losing the deal really means. What does Blaze think? What does Tank think? What does Rip think? What does everybody fucking think? My stomach twists painfully as I continue to think. God. I should try to catch some sleep. Overthinking this won't help or bring the deal back. I slowly start to squeeze my eyes shut, and then I groan quietly into the darkness. I turn to my side, then to my back, then to the other side again, but nothing works. Sleep still refuses to come.