Thinking Of Me Novels & Stories

“Exactly what is it that I’m thinking?” ***

(RORY’S POV) ME: Tell me the things you think of when you think of me. BESTIE: You want to know? ME: I want to know everything. BESTIE: I think of your mouth. The way it felt when I sucked your lips. BESTIE: I think of your hands. The way they gripped my back when you came. BESTIE: I think of your voice. The way you said my name when you couldn't hold it in anymore. BESTIE: And then I take myself in my hand and I think of you until I can't think at all.

I start pacing, hands on my head, my thoughts running five miles a minute. "Just started pulling it. Want me to flag anything suspicious?" "Yeah. Send it my way as soon as you get it." "Got it." The line clicks off. I stand in the middle of the room for a beat, then mutter to myself, "Maybe I need to hit the club this weekend. Get my head straight. Burn off whatever this is." I'll get a decent night... I'll get laid. And I'll finally stop thinking about Jannah Cole.

I do my best to keep active, to contribute with wisdom so that I would at least become a prominent person here and so that my dad would approve. I do my best not to zone out and think about something else—a particular lady, the one that consumes my every thought nowadays. I simply try to act normal, but it's almost impossible with how I find myself thinking at intervals. This girl has got me affected one way or another, I think to myself bitterly. I'm obsessed now and there's no going back, I think again, shaking my head as I wonder at how unable I am to really be focused for so long without a message from her when I'm not exactly talking to her.

In my last life, I thought that I would make her pay if I survived when that bucket of sulfuric acid had been poured over me. This time, I did it. I smiled and said, "You're thinking too much. You survived last time because of my family's salve. But this time, you don't have it. Not only that, you applied a massive amount of sunscreen and even turned the fragrance into perfume. "So now… Cherish whatever time you have left. You only have a few days, give or take. But as your best friend, I still want to say one more thing." I paused for a moment, and then said, "It's your turn to go to hell this time."

He looked like he wanted to arrest the guy simply for existing. I tried to focus, shutting out the loud pop music blasting through the deck speakers and the constant sound of splashing water so I could catch the thoughts drifting around us. Unfortunately, all I found was noise. [God, look at the guy in the black shirt by the bar.] [Is he a model? Those arms are unreal.] [Please tell me that's his sister and not his girlfriend.] [I still have a chance.] I swallowed. I didn't need to be a professional mind reader to know those thoughts belonged to the group of women sitting at the table to our left.

“Stupid woman. She’s actually serious. She’s loaded. I don’t care what it takes. I’ll cling to her and not let go. Otherwise, how am I supposed to get the Hartley family fortune?” Rayan’s inner thoughts shocked me back to reality. They made me lose any sense of moral superiority. My eyes had been about to tear up, but they immediately turned cold and bitter instead. When Robert saw my resolve, he wedged his entire body in the doorframe. He finally realized that this was not just a fit that would blow over in a few days.

For а momеnt, I wish I cоuld just turn оff my thоughts аnd enjoy thе evening likе thеy sееm tо bе. Nо, Emily. Nо nо nо nо nо nо nо. Fine! I'm teхting him! Just а quick mеssаge tо let him knоw I’m thinking оf him. Nо big deаl, right?

Thankfully, it's my senior year. “Does he ever wake up without a hangover?” Lately, my thoughts have taken on their own personality. It’s weird that I always had just my line of thoughts, but recently, it’s like a separate person is in my mind. Maybe I’ve spent too much time reading that I started thinking in a separate inner dialog or maybe it’s because I feel so alone sometimes that this way of thinking helps me feel like I’m not going through my life entirely alone. Either way, I know it's weird, but it’s also comforting.

“thanks too. And I am fine now. You guys are the best.” She gave me a look as if trying to see if I was lying, but I was really saying the truth. The adrenaline and feeling I got from the horror movie succeeded in making my mind blank. I cannot waste my time thinking about three people who surely are not wasting a damn second on me. I do not know why I have this type of mind that read deep into things but from now on, I just don’t want to think about it. The thoughts have to stop. “goodnight.”