Today I Give Up Trying Novels & Stories

“Jade, I hope we’ll always be this happy together. I hope to sing this song for you for all of your future birthdays.” I was disgusted, so I made up an excuse and left. When I reached the corner, someone threw a basin full of powder at me. Having asthma, I could not breathe in such a thing. I started losing my breath as I pressed my hand against my chest. Then, I fell to my knees. “Why are you scheming against me? William just picked me up when you got someone to register your marriage secretly. “Did you think that would deter me? Impossible. William says that he loves me.”

he whispered and I found myself nodding. "I meant giving up on avoiding you - avoiding us. I can't stand the thought of you getting mad at me, of you crying. So I giving up. It's killing me. God knows I tried every possible way I know to make this work but there are things that I can't control. I'm done giving you reasons to hate me. From now on it's just us. We'll try to work this out together. I don't give a fuck if we hide this relationship again or whatever you like as long as we're back together, I don't care. Coz God knows it's starting to kill me too. I love you Boo bear, okay? I will never give you up. Never,"

"Sorry can not change the sleepless nights I cried and couldn't sleep, sorry can not remove the drugs I took when I got sick, sorry can not change the fact that I went to my enemies for help" Melissa stopped, she looked at Sam who had not said anything for a while, then at Molly who seems to be avoiding her gaze. " I know I shouldn't have left Sam and Leah but they bring me back to YOU!" she pointed her index finger at Molly "And I fucking had to do something about it" She sat on the floor, now letting the tear flow freely "My rent was due, I had no single noodle or leftover, and I know I would surely starve to death, had other bills to pay, my father dumped me, No money to even take a bus t

I swallowed the last of my pride like a bad pill. "You didn't like me seeing him when he was fine! I think you're just trying to play hot potato with a cripple." Her voice slipped into venom before she caught herself. Charming. "I just want you to show your damn face, I'm not trying to dump him on you." I rolled my eyes so hard I saw my childhood therapist for a second. "He's not eating and I'm worried he's killing himself. Since you two love each other so much you can probably get him to stop being sad and cheer up."

Not asking what’s wrong, not calling for help. After I finished, he spoke. “Let me guess. You tried to stop your bad habits and ended up falling back.” “Yep. I’m a lost cause, aren’t I?” I heard movement, but I couldn’t tell if it was coming from the other end of the phone or from my surroundings. “Tell me what happened, Cherry. No one is a lost cause. I’d just like to know why you’ve given up on yourself.” Is that it? Have I thrown in the towel? Isn’t this just who I am? A product of pain. Must I get better? Why can’t I just…. drown in peace?

Can't keep my hands to myself My hands to myself Can't keep my hands to myself My hands to myself The doctors say you're no good But people say what they wanna say And you should know if I could I'd breathe you in every single day Oh, cause all of the downs and the uppers Keep making love to each other And I'm trying, trying, I'm trying, trying All of the downs and the uppers Keep making love to each other And I'm trying, trying, I'm trying But I...

I guess I just caved in first. All I want is love that lasts Is all I want too much to ask? Is it something wrong with me? All I want is a good guy Are my expectations far too high? Try my best but what can I say? All I have is myself at the end of the day Shouldn't that be enough for me?

The more I try to be strong, the more I try not to pass out or just give up. Maybe just for a few seconds- Just a little bit of rest and I might be better.

Him again. Of course I didn't remember to remind him of the housewarming, I didn't remember it myself with all that was going on. Plus do I want to start my day, spend it all beside him after everything?? No. I'd rather he didn't show up at all even. “Goodbye mom." I simply said, hung up before she could say anything else. My spirits all dampened, low, the weight of yesterday heavy like drums on my shoulders. I didn't want to go anywhere at this point. Didn't want to think anything.

"For staying. For not letting me work myself to death. For calling me on my shit." "Thank you for letting me. For not getting defensive. For actually trying." "We're kind of a mess, aren't we?" "The messiest." "But we're trying." "Yeah. We're trying." And in the darkness of his bedroom, that feels like enough. Not perfect. Not healed. Just trying. One difficult day at a time. Together.