Twilight Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Clay Nikolaidis: I don't know why everyone's so worried about me. I'm happy being single. H-A-P-P-Y, Happy. I don't understand why my twin sister thought her getting married and having my niece and nephew meant I felt left behind. Least of all, to the point that she decided I needed a dog… It’s a joke. She gave me a corgi and said he’s my new wingman. of a wingman, I've been striking out, and worse, just got evicted from my apartment. Now I'm staying at my cousin's place till I find a new one. This dog owes me. Xenia Rosario: I've loved everything about living in the Big Apple. Everything but my apartment seems to be big here. Shoebox apartment aside, I just became the owner of Tinkerbell, a therapy training dropout. Trust me when I say her name is meant to be ironic. She's bigger than me. This is probably how I got dragged through the park, and if I ever find the owner of that tiny dog who scared Tink, I'm giving them a piece of my mind. This is a standalone story but is the fifth book in the Ravenwood series. Book 1 - The Princess of Ravenwood Book 2 - Chasing Kitsune Book 3 - Expect The Unexpected Book 4 - Out Of My League Book 5 - Man's Best Wingman

Alexandra, or as she prefers, Alex is a seventeen year old delinquent with a liking for trouble and deviance. A teenager with a rap sheet and a tendency for poor anger management, she is known for illegal street fighting and gang activities. Now attending one of her father's schools for closer supervision, she has her mind set on bringing him down to his knees. There was only one thing standing in her way, and it was Alec Hawford. Her rivalry and biggest competition. Things just got real. Secrets will reveal themselves and questions will be answered. You might say, hell will break loose with the two enemies under one roof. Understatement of the century. Lets just say Satan better start getting his resumes ready, because there is a new devil coming to town.

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

WISH is book #1 in a new series by #1 bestselling author Morgan Rice, a USA Today bestseller and critically acclaimed author of the fantasy series The Sorcerer’s Ring (over 3,000 five star reviews) and the vampire fantasy series The Vampire Journals (over 1,500 five star reviews). Mistfalls Wilderness Camp is an awful place, a series of islands in the rainy Northwest, populated by delinquents and outcasts from their families. It is supposed to be a remedial place—but Taylor soon learns something else is happening here. They are training the kids here for something. But what?These kids are all different, not normal somehow. And as Taylor herself goes through changes she doesn’t understand, she can’t help but wonder: is she different, too? But when a mysterious boy comes along, unlike anyone she’s ever met, Taylor is shocked at the power of her crush, and ready to risk it all for him.But will their forbidden love take them both down for good?Weaving a world of fantasy, love, destiny and sacrifice, WISH is a page-turning vampire saga, one that will whisk you away to another place and make you fall in love with a bold new heroine as you turn pages late into the night. With shocking twists and turns at every corner, you will not put it down. Fans of books such as Crush, Twilight and Vampire Academy are sure to fall in love!Future books in the series are also available.

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and for Ella Blake, it was a fastball right to the heart. On the same day she discovered she was pregnant, her husband, Lucas, dropped a bombshell: his childhood sweetheart, Amy, was also expecting—and he wanted Ella to raise the child. Talk about a double whammy! Devastated and feeling utterly betrayed, Ella packed her bags and left the life she once knew, vowing never to look back. Fast forward six years, and she's back, but with a new look and a fierce attitude. Lucas can’t believe his luck when he spots her, mistaking their chemistry for a chance to rekindle their past. But with secrets, old feelings, and Amy reappearing with her own bombshell, can Ella find a way to reclaim her heart, or will revenge take the wheel? What will happen when the past collides with the present?

"Dante" His breezy baritone swept across the carriage sending me to a jolt. "The name's Dante" He added as if to reassure me. I was on my way to an unknown Pack, it's funny how I was a Princess in my father's Palace in Arazona one day and the next, I'm being sold off to a beastial pack as a bride. I knew my place, surely, I was naive but not stupid. My life and death depended on him from the day of that horrible wedding, the moment we set off in the carriage my life was sealed with his, and the moment he looked into my eyes with the untamed, fiery and strong gaze, I feared I would lose my sanity and heart too. My heart was the border line, anything but my heart could be taken from me, I suddenly have the urge to tame him, My Alpha.

"I am the Dragon Queen, and there's nothing you can do about it. Accept it... or accept defeat." Funny enough, I never imagined those words would one day leave my mouth. I'm Pandora, a princess who hated being a princess. On the day I was supposed to marry a cruel king in a marriage I never wanted, I ran away in search of the freedom I'd dreamed about my entire life. I never expected to stumble into a kingdom where dragons ruled the skies, or even existed, meet two ridiculously handsome princes, or discover that the dragons saw something in me that no one else did. Now kingdoms are preparing for war, an obsessed king wants to drag me back, and an ancient destiny I never asked for has chosen me. Apparently, running away from one wedding was only the beginning of my story.

His voice dropped lower. “You saw the news, didn’t you? The little warning on the LED TV?” Her eyes flickered. “…Yes, sir.” “Then why didn’t you turn back?” Her mouth opened, but no words came out. “And you saw they’ve never shown my face on the news.” He tapped his temple, eyes glinting. “But now you’re staring right at me. You know exactly what I look like. You think I’ll let you walk away?” “No! Please!” Isabella’s voice cracked, tears falling. “I promise with my mother’s grave—I’ll never speak of this! Please, just spare me!” Alessandro smirked, lifting his gun. “People like you swear. People like you also betray. Let’s see…” Her whole body locked. “No, no, please—” The gun fired. Isabella screamed. But when she opened her eyes, the bullet hole smoked in the wooden floor beside her. Her chest heaved. Her hands shook. She collapsed onto the ground, sobbing. Alessandro leaned back, laughing softly. Then—something in her snapped. She pushed herself up on trembling legs. “You want to kill me? Then fucking do it!” His brows lifted. “What the fuck is wrong with you gangsters?” she yelled, her voice shaking. “Do I look like someone who can hurt you? You almost made me wet my pants out there with your bullets. Do you think that’s funny?” One of his men growled, stepping forward, hand raised. “How dare you talk to the boss like that—” “Stop,” Alessandro ordered sharply, raising his hand without taking his eyes off her. Isabella’s chest heaved. “You think taking lives is funny?” She beat her chest with her fist. “Fine. I’m going to walk out that door right now. Shoot me if you want.”