Twilight Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

He leaned over to Andrei with a mischievous grin. ‌ "Hey, Andrei, did you hear about the werewolf who walked into a bar? The bartender says, 'Why the long fur?'" Lucas snickered at his own joke, expecting a laugh from his alpha. ‌ Andrei raised an eyebrow, trying not to chuckle. "Lucas, that's a classic dad joke. You'll have to do better than that." ‌ Meanwhile, Rosey, the sweet and innocent young sorceress, piped up with her own response. "I heard a better one, Lucas. What do you call a werewolf without legs?”

I don’t doubt her words for any reason—not when she’s way more than way too kind to me, I don’t doubt her in the slightest. My brows cinched as the wheels in my head turn, trying to put together everything she’s said. It’s a good idea, really. Instead of giving an answer right then and there though, I offered her a small smile instead. “I’ll think about it.” I resorted to that, even though I have a rough idea of what I’ll go with eventually. “You should. We need to get this Twilight shit in action.” “You’re obsessed with Twilight, aren’t you?”

I'm sure his release was starting to leak. "Point me to a toilet, I'm afraid I'm feeling like a cream filled twinkie," I mumbled sadly and chuckled to myself at my joke. Alhan looked at me strangely and asked what a twinkle was. I shook my head and explained as I followed after him. I thanked him as he opened the facilities and hurried to the throne to deposit loads of his spunk.

I giggled and started to shrink in my seat to hide. "Sis, you're embarrassing sometimes," I purred at her. "One day, someone is going to jump into this car and insist on coming home with us because of you playing this.... Twilight fans are weird... and with our luck, it'd be a blood sucking leech." "That would be very fun~ We could slowly kill the leech!" She stuck her tongue out at someone flipping us off. I giggled and shook my head. "You're the best sister I could ask for," I muttered. "You should turn it up a bit more. I don't think the people inside the buildings can hear it yet." She stopped on the brakes.

I don’t like eyes on me as it is, let alone these laser beams. “Aight, let’s go girlllll!”. She links my arm and starts dragging me away. “You did NOT just quote Shania Twain?”. “Totally did”. “Youuuu psycho!”. Both laughing, we make our way towards the exit. Goddess, I can’t wait to hit my bed.

"They won't shoot us… They're werewolves. They would just rip us apart and eat us for dinner." The sound of her shuffling stopped, and I glanced back at her with a mischievous smile. "That isn't funny, Olivia." I snorted with laughter when she began to move again. Unable to hold back my sarcasm, I muttered, "Oh, pulling out the full name. I'm in trouble now."

"Quickly, get to the point before I go to sleep!" "Huh?! Okay, okay, I’ll try to shorten it! You don’t know the art of speaking!" "If everyone learns the art of speaking like you did, it’s guaranteed to be boring and send people to sleep in a blink!" "Dare to make fun of older people, huh?" "Yes. Why? It looks like someone said yesterday that they know how to return the favor, right?"

Theron's POV The day of the event was finally here. This is the day I officially put Twilight on the map. Another success to celebrate. Many of my past lovers have been calling nonstop to accompany me to the event but I turned them all down. I don't want any drama tonight so I decided to just go alone.

He looked up and found what might have been the devil's offspring (for that monstrous kick) glaring at him. “What?” He asked. “I told you that I'm not sleeping in the same bed as you.” “Relax, it was an accident. I just sleepwalked is all. The couch wasn't that comfortable, you know.” “Fine. Let's pretend that I believe you so we can move on with our lives.” Later that evening, Takumi came back a little later than usual and found Twilight cooking. “I feel like I found myself a wife.” “What a great sense of humour you have.” She sarcastically remarked.

Tyler’s POV ‘Is that how clumsy she is?’ Remus snarled. ‘Or is that her form of excuse so that she can just touch you again?’ I laughed at him. ‘Just let her act as if she needs us all the time. It makes our hearts flutter with butterflies.’ ‘Not for me.’ I swear I can feel Remus’ eyes rolling. “So now, we are going to watch Twilight.” My brows met. Our eyes met. “Why is it titled like that?”