Until I Disappeared 소설 & 이야기

I murmur at last, forcing the words between my teeth, "This was a mistake." Before he exhales and nods, something flickering in his expression seems incomprehensible. If that's what you need to tell yourself. His comments gently heal like a bruise inside me. Though he doesn't, I expect him to push, dispute, and do something. He just recedes, hands falling into his pockets. "You know where to find me," he says and moves towards the door. And he disappeared exactly like that. My pulse thumping too quickly, I stand in stillness. From the gloomy glass, my contemplation looks back at me—a woman who no longer even recognises herself. My phone starts to vibrate then.

I sighed. "Nothing bad last forever. Soon this will all be water under the bridge. You're not the first person who's pictures got leaked. Everyone got passed it. It's just a matter of time before everything is forgotten." He answered. "I hope so. Now I have to wear disguise to go out. This is a freaking nightmare." "You don't need to hide. You just go out there with you head held high. Don't let people get to you, I know you're a strong person. And as we speak, your dad has people taking down the videos and pictures off the internet."

The memories won’t let me. “When I woke up,” I whisper, “I was in a hospital room. My body hurt everywhere. There was a woman there, dressed like a nurse, but she didn’t act like one. She told me I had to disappear. That if I went back, if I tried to contact you, they would kill me. She said it wasn’t safe, that people were looking for me, people who didn’t want the truth to come out. I didn’t understand what she meant, not then. I tried to ask about you, but she just told me to keep quiet. And then she slipped me a phone number and a ticket. She said if I wanted to live, I had to go. So I went.”

The way my mother hummed as she brushed my hair. And then the screaming. The red lights. The sirens. I remembered hiding under the bed, pressing my hands over my ears, whispering the same phrase over and over. “You’ll come back. You’ll come back.” But she never did. After that, I disappeared. Not physically. But Ivy, the girl who believed the world made sense—the one who waited for bedtime stories and wanted to dance barefoot in the rain—she disappeared. What replaced her was built. Piece by piece. Smarter. Sharper. Safer.

Her locked mouth. My phone buzzed again. And obedience. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. Tears blurred my vision, hot and angry. “I won’t disappear,” I whispered. “Not again.” The screen lit up one last time. We’ll see. The phone went dark. I sat there long after, shaking, knowing one thing with terrifying clarity… this wasn’t just about my father anymore. It was about how far they were willing to go to erase me too.

I unlocked my apartment door and stepped inside. Silence greeted me. Usually I liked that. Tonight it felt lonely. I kicked off my shoes and tossed my keys onto the counter. Then froze. A strange sensation crawled across the back of my neck. Wrong. Something felt wrong. Not danger. Not exactly. Pressure. The way the air changed before a storm. My stomach tightened. "No." The word barely left my mouth before the vision hit. Everything vanished. The apartment disappeared. The city disappeared. The world disappeared. Darkness swallowed everything.

A truth my body accepted before my mind could question it. I looked at Adrian. His face had gone very still. That is not true, he said evenly. The man laughed, but there was no humor in it. You think I imagined it. You think I would come here if I was not sure. Lana, you disappeared. One day you were fighting for your life back, and the next you were erased. Something inside me cracked open. Disappeared. The word no longer felt abstract. It felt like theft. I stepped around Adrian, my heart pounding, my vision narrowing.

With the help of the lightning flashes, I hit record, zoomed in, and captured the license plate. On the screen, I saw the man toss Dorothy into the back like a piece of luggage. My heart jerked violently, pain stabbing with every beat. Then, I shifted the camera and caught another scene. Chester's assistant stood by the van, handing the leader a thick envelope. The moment the recording ended, it felt like my insides were burning. "Hang in there, Dottie… Mommy will save you. Just wait a few more hours, okay?" I watched the van disappear into the rain. I didn't chase it and throw my life away. I knew, for a fact, that I needed power—someone who could crush Chester and make that van stop.

“Don’t call me that.” I take a slow step closer. “You used to like it.” “That was one night. Four years ago. Before you disappeared.” Disappeared. The word stings. I see flashes—broken windshield, blood in my mouth, Grandma crying you almost died, Julian. The months of blank walls after. “I didn’t disappear,” I whisper. “I was in a coma.” She laughs once, sharp. “Convenient.” “Grandma had a stroke. I drove drunk. I looked for you after, every campus, every club, every damn listing. You were gone.”

Later, after she fell asleep, I opened my laptop. The blank title field waited. I typed. Until I Wrote Him. The words settled. Not hopeful. Not tragic. Just true.