Novel & Cerita When I Was Gone The Regret Began

It was worse now that she was gone; it was like fate was forcing me to live without her, pushing her away with every chance it got, first from my memory and now from me. Regrets. I had so many regrets, like how I regretted going to Gwen and cheating on Cara; I deserved all I got; I remembered that night; I had been so drunk, but she was there, Gwen, galivating about, waiting, as if she knew I was so close to slipping.

I felt motherless, fatherless, homeless, just completely alone. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have left my bedroom for that party. I would have gone with Mom to Washington all those years ago when I had the chance. If I could rewind time, I never would've pulled that trigger. I never would've left the cage I'd been locked in. Regret was my only companion now. I blamed no one but myself. My stubbornness had gotten me here, and now I was paying for every foolish choice. I am painfully tied up, broken, physically and mentally, with nothing left but regret eating away at me. Regret for every second of my life.

It was the opposite of everything I'd had as Luna. It was perfect. I sat on the edge of the bed, my single suitcase at my feet, and I finally let myself fall apart. The tears came without warning, wracking sobs that shook my entire body. I cried for five years of wasted love. I cried for the girl I'd been at twenty, so desperate for someone to love her that she'd ignored every red flag. I cried for Theo, for the confusion he'd face, for the mother who'd left him behind even though leaving was the only way to save them both.

“Jensen… sorry…” Her eyes were red as she raised her hand and slapped herself. “I am sorry… I regretted it for the past three years… please forgive me. Please look at me one more time…” I rolled down the window halfway and looked at her with a cold expression. “Chelsea, do you think it is appropriate to say this in front of my wife? Do not come near me and disgust me again. I do not want to see you. Do not insult the word regret. You do not deserve it.”

"You can't hold me out of my will. You can't do that!" Henry chuckled. "Watch me." He simply waved at Martins and Lauren was dragged now towards the guest room. “Diana will never come back to you!” she shouted over her shoulder as she was pulled away. “Never!” Her laughter echoed down the hallway until the door shut behind them. Silence fell heavily over the living room. Henry stood there for a moment, breathing hard. Then the anger drained out of him, leaving something much worse behind. Regret. He exhaled slowly and sank back into the couch. His elbows rested on his knees as he stared down at the floor.

I lost her through a thousand small betrayals across the eighteen years we’ve known each other. A waiter carrying dozens of trays nearly crashes into me, but I barely notice because I’ve been moving through life in a haze, barely registering anything around me. Even with the twins, I had to leave them with Mom because I couldn’t be present. I’m too lost in the storm I created to be the father they need. That’s the thing about regret. It’s not just an emotion; it’s a beast with teeth and claws and it feeds on you from the inside, leaving nothing behind.

During all the time I'd been gone, he hated himself every single day. He wanted so badly to tear open his chest and show me how the thorns of regret had grown wild inside him, piercing through his organs. But facing my cold, indifferent black eyes, all the words in his heart got stuck in his throat. He couldn't say a single one. Fresh ginkgo leaves rustled down between us, as if separated by a decade of unmelted snow. "Go back." "I don't want to see you." I turned to leave. "Don't go—"

I couldn't shake the feeling that I had failed him, that I had let him down in his hour of need. Regret gnawed at me like a relentless beast, tearing away at my insides with its sharp claws. I replayed all the missed opportunities in my mind, the moments I could have reached out to him, told him how much he meant to me. But now, it was too late. The chance to mend our fractured relationship was gone forever, buried along with my father's lifeless body.

My father reaches for me, his hand trembling, but his body jerks. His head tilts—wrong, loose— and then he goes still. “No!” The scream rips out of me. I fight, kick, claw—anything to reach him. “Father! Get up! Please… get up!” But he doesn’t move. He doesn’t breathe. He’s just… gone. The world cracks around me. And for the first time, regret hits hard—sharp and heavy. I made him stay for my birthday. If I hadn’t been so stubborn…

The grandeur of my achievements felt inconsequential in the wake of the profound loss that engulfed me. Sleep eluded me, and when the night descended, I found myself grappling with the shadows of regret that haunted my thoughts. The love letters from Isabella, concealed artifacts of a past I had failed to confront, now lay bare the complexities of my heart. The symphony of regret played relentlessly in the recesses of my mind, each note a reminder of the choices that had led to this desolate chapter of my life.