Novel & Cerita When Loving Him Is Hurting You

“Now that I know how you feel, I can’t do anything with you, I will only be using you. Because.. Because you know how I feel about love.” “You always used me. Every time you had a fight with your family, I was right there, even when it was inconvenient for me. And I didn’t hate it. I didn’t hate that you were using me. Even now, I want you to use me.” I wince. “I can’t.. that would be hurting you. I can’t hurt you intentionally.” “Hurting me? What was hurting me was standing by you all those years and pretending to hate love when I loved you with all of my being.”

"I'm hurting so bad right here. It feels like someone has a fucking vise grip around my heart and I need him so badly." "Then go to him. Let him hold you and remind you how much he loves you. Stop fighting this shit and embrace it." "Then he wins." She pushed at my chest as an ugly cry rose up out of her pretty mouth. "If he wins he'll never respect me for who I am."

He grins at me, "I'm not." "You are." He smiles at me and just stares at me, “And I know that you love him but loving’s not enough.” He sings brokenheartedly and I am hurting even more. I shake my head sideways, "You have to go and sleep.” He licks his dry lips and I don't know if he's intentionally doing it in slow motion or maybe I'm the one seeing it in slow motion. But that goddam tongue whenever he licks those goddamn lips will always get the best and worst of me every single damned time.

- You need to calm down. – Devin said for the thousandth time. - Why does it hurt so much, Devin? - I sat on the floor crying. Devin sat down next to me and wrapped me in his arms, I leaned my head on his chest, still crying. Couldn't stop. Why does loving hurt so much? Because he does not love me? - Because you love him. He kissed the top of my head. - And you don't know how to deal with it now, but you're strong and you'll make it.

It was almost breaking, and I could hear it—the vulnerability buried under his anger. “I promise you won’t, baby.” I pressed my hand to my chest, feeling my heart beat wildly, like it might burst. Like it was the only thing holding me together right now. There was a pause, and then—“Good. I love you, baby.” His voice softened further, warm and gentle, seeping into the cold corners of my soul. I wanted to hold onto those words, cling to them like a lifeline. “I just want you to be the best version of yourself, always,” he added quietly.

Leo’s POV People said time healed everything. They lied. Time didn’t heal anything. It simply taught you how to hide the damage better. The scars stayed. They just stopped bleeding where others could see. My sister’s death never left me. Some mornings, I felt her absence before I even opened my eyes, like an invisible weight pressing down on my chest. Losing her had broken something inside me that never fully came back together. And no matter how hard I tried to bury it, my anger always found one destination.

“You hurt him for no reason!” Oliver’s expression didn’t change. But his silence said everything. And that silence… Broke something inside her. “I hate you,” she said, her voice shaking with emotion. “You’re disgusting.” For the first time… Those words actually hit him. Not like the others. Not like fear. Not like insults. This one stayed. Because it came from her. And for reasons he didn’t understand… That mattered. More than it should have.

I say sharing my disgust at him at the very moment. " This is not how you get someone to love you. You do not manipulate the person you love just to fucking get there attention, you cannot force me to love you,I have no control over my heart! The faster you understand that the better for you goddammit! " I say to him through gritted teeth.

He searched her eyes, desperate for an answer. “And I hate that you're hurting. I hate how all this is affecting you.” “I hate it when you walk away from me. It feels like…” His voice cracked. “Like someone is ripping a part of me out.” Ava blinked, tears gathered in her eyes but she forced them back. “Ethan…” her voice cracked. “Loving you hurts.” “I know…” his voice broke fully this time. “But we can make it work.” He reached up and cupped the back of her neck. She didn't pull away, their foreheads touched.

It kept shifting shape. He had loved me, in his way, for over a decade. A terrible, controlling, suffocating way. A way that looked nothing like love from the outside and probably not much better from the inside. But something that was real and had been real and I had been living inside it without knowing the full shape of it.