Yo Mama So Old Jokes

At 18, He asked her to accompany him to the prom and she agreed because she liked him. At 23, He asked her to pretend to be his girlfriend, and she agreed because she loved him. At 25 he asked her to be his fiancee and she agreed, all because she wanted him to be hers forever. But now at 27, he's decided to break the 2 years of engagement to marry his true love and this time he did not ask. He simply decided that it was all over and he didn't need her. All the years, she followed him like a lovesick puppy only to get her heart broken mercilessly. The fairy tale she was living in vanished with just a simple blink. But too bad, she knew how to cure her broken heart and stand up again. But then what's wrong with him? Why is he behaving like a possessive fiancé all of sudden? Why the sudden change of heart? Shouldn't he be with his lover instead of trying to hold her captive? Wasn't he the one who said she's not the one for him and he didn't want her? Why was he behaving like a jealous husband? Does it mean The Cold-Hearted CEO Wants Her Back? _____________________ ________

[Having accidentally flirted with a legendary powerhouse, she desperately asked for help on the Internet.]After being betrayed by a scumbag and her elder sister, Catherine swore to become the shameless couple’s aunt! With that, she took an interest in her ex-boyfriend’s uncle.Little did she realize that he was wealthier and more handsome than her ex-boyfriend. From then on, she became a romantic wife to her ex-boyfriend’s uncle and always flirted with him.Although the man would give her the cold shoulder, she did not mind as long as she was able to retain her identity as her ex-boyfriend’s aunt.One day, Catherine suddenly realized that she was flirting with the wrong person!The man who she had been going all out to flirt with was not even the scumbag’s uncle!Catherine went mad. “I’m so done. I want to get a divorce!”Shaun was at a loss for words.What an irresponsible woman she was!If she wanted to get a divorce, then she could just dream on!

"Please, don't do this, I have a husband... I am married" Ash begged with her joined hands while walking backward. Tears streamed down her cheeks, blurring her vision. In a snap, his handsome face contorted in distaste and his eyes lost all their warmth. "Not tonight! Tonight you are mine. And ONLY MINE," he paced towards her like a predator. "Michael...Michael..." Ash shouted her husband's name as her back hit the cold wall. He started caressing her cheek with his knuckles. He leaned forward and whispered in her ears "he has sold you to me, for tonight. So, tonight the only name you are allowed to take is mine. And believe me, angel, I'll make sure you scream my name while I'll do things to you that I have been wanting to do with you since the moment I saw you" He said in his raspy voice. He had been imagining this moment since the day he had laid his eyes on her. And finally, he got her. Daniel slammed his bow-shaped hungry lips on her soft plumpy ones just after finishing his sentence. She squeezed her eyes shut letting tears tumble out.

“You have been promised to the grandson of a business partner. There’s no need for college. You’ve already wasted enough time fooling around at school” My brother's face pulled into a twisted grin. “You are part of the business deal. You wouldn’t want all of the employees who depend on us for their jobs to suffer would you?” That was it, the day my life changed. I couldn’t be selfish, I had to take care of these people, my family, in every way possible. My brother has seen fit to run our late parents' company into the ground, living a lifestyle he didn’t earn. Now I have to marry a complete stranger as part of some twisted business contract. I’m only 18. I just graduated high school. I’ve only had one semi-serious relationship that went up in flames. How was I supposed to be the wife of a very publicized, womanizing billionaire?

Avery couldn’t accept the sudden changes in him. “Why are you being nice and sweet all of a sudden?” Anderson inched closer and she could feel his breath on her face. “Because you are my wife. Only my wife deserves my sweetness.” At twenty four, Anderson Crown was the acting CEO of his father’s trillion dollar multinational company. He was hot and a die for yet, he was so cold. When it was time for him to assume the position of CEO wholly, he wouldn’t accept it without Avery Smith by his side as a wife. Therefore, an arranged marriage was the best option, but why? Avery Smith was the shy intern in the accounts department. When she reluctantly succumbed to her parents' demand to marry Anderson to save their business, she grew hatred towards him because her heart was already taken. She vowed to her boyfriend that she would frustrate Anderson’s life to make him divorce her but was surprised when she realized after the marriage, that Anderson wasn’t who she thought he was. So what happens when she begins to fall head over heels in love with Anderson, and her ex boyfriend appears to claim her as promised? Will she keep to her vow or will she stay true to what her heart feels? This book is a read alone, though a sequel to *The CEO silenced me with a kiss*

Samantha Davis fell pregnant, and she knew nothing about the man she slept with. After being disowned by her father, she left the city to start anew. Raising her own children, Samantha strived and overcame. Little did she know, her twins meant to find a daddy, and they weren't settling for any less! At three years old, her babies asked, "Mama, where Dada?" "Umm... Dada is far away." That was the easiest way for Samantha to explain to her kids the absence of a father. At four years old, they asked again, "Mommy, where is Daddy?" "Umm... He is working at Braeton City." Yet again, Samantha chose the easy way out. After nearly six years, Samantha returned to the place that had long forsaken her, Braeton City. She knew she was bound to answer her kids' curiosity over their unknown father, and she concluded it was about time to tell the truth. However, one day, her twins came to her with glistening eyes and announced, "Mommy! We found Daddy!" Standing before her was a block of ice, Mr. Ethan Wright, the most powerful businessman in the city. *** Book 1 of the Wright Family Series Book 2: Flash Marriage: A Billionaire For A Rebound Book 3: I Kissed A CEO And He Liked It Book 4: The Devil's Love For The Heiress Book 5: I Fell For The Boy His Daddy Was A Bonus Note each story can be read as a standalone. Follow me on social media. Search Author_LiLhyz on IG & FB.

“I will agree to whatever you want, Ms. Aragon. I will give you a million, but in return, you'll be my mistress and partner in bed...” Hindi kaagad nakahuma si Lalaine sa sinabing iyon ng lalaki. Paano mangyayari ang gusto nitong maging kabit siya gayong kasal sila? “P-Pero kasal tayo, hindi ba?” naguguluhang tanong naman ni Lalaine na may munting kirot sa puso. “Sa papel lang tayo kasal, Ms. Aragon,” sagot naman ni Knives na bakas ang iritasyon sa tinig. “Hindi ko na uulitin ang tanong. Ano ang sagot mo?” malamig pa tanong sa babae. Dahil wala nang pagpipilian pa ay sumagot si Lalaine kahit labag sa kanyang kalooban, “S-Sige, pumapayag ako...” Si Knives Dawson, ang pinakamayamang businessman sa buong Luzon ay palihim na ikinasal sa isang ulilang dalaga na si Lalaine Aragon. Napilitan lang na magpakasal ang dalawa sa isa't-isa dahil sa kagustuhan ng kanilang mga minamahal na lola. May mamagitan kayang pagmamahal sa dalawang taong langit at lupa ang agwat ng katayuan sa buhay? Paano kapag nalaman ni Lalaine na mahal pa pala ng lalaki ang first love nito at nakatakda nang magpakasal ang dalawa. Ipaglalaban ba niya ang kanyang karapatan bilang asawa gayong alam niyang walang pagmamahal si Knives para sa kan'ya?

"On the bed." My new master, the Alpha of Drogomor, commanded.I walked toward the bed, naked, ashamed, and full of tears.I was about to lose my virginity, but it meant nothing to the man who was going to take it.***I am Rosalie, 20 years old, sold to the most terrifying alpha by my own father."You're nothing to me but a breeder." he said to me cruelly.I had long known that my love for him was hopeless and foolish. However, I was naïve to think that was the end of the story.Once the baby is born, I will be put to death.***People thought I was dead, but I survived."It's you!" He grabbed my hand, and his eyes were filled with emotions I couldn't understand. "Come back to me, Rosalie.""Sorry." I calmly looked back at him, "but I think you've got the wrong person."

“Do I want a taste?” his voice deeper than he had ever spoken. His eyes pinned on me like I was the only thing that fascinated him. “What do I do?” I thought to myself as he moved closer to me, I wanted to run away, to resist him but I was pinned to the wall by him. “Gosh I hate this man so much” his scent, his body, his beautiful green eyes, he was driving me crazy. I know this is wrong, he has a fiancee and all but that makes me want him even more. “Get on the bed and spread your legs” his cold voice woke me up and then I remembered I was just a maid to him. “Yes master”.

Aliyah doesn't know what to do after hearing that her father was fired and telling her that she may not be able to finish her last year of college now because he can not sustain her anymore.  No! She will not just stay still and watch her father do everything just to provide for their family.  She has to work! She decided to do everything! And when she said everything, that also included when Mr. Richard Saavedra, a fifty-two year old man, offered her to be his wife in exchange for money.   Everything was going well in her past months in Mr. Saavedra's mansion, but not until someone showed up and told her that he was Mr. Saavedra's son. He is Rocco Saavedra.  Right after Rocco came to the mansion, Aliyah's life seemed like a trial card in hell.  Will she still remain in the mansion? Or will she stay away after knowing that she is pregnant with one of the Saavedras?