Yo Mama So Old Jokes

Dark Lovers: Book 4 The Golden Bell You can bring them in from the wild, but you can't always tame them. Fallon is a man with a bloody past, and a rough and ready way with justice. Rain is a woman on the run, and now she's under his command. She's outsmarted men before, but is she woman enough to handle him?

Losing her grandmother, Lea was betrayed by her Aunt Estrella. Instead of introducing her to a work like what they talked about, she was sold in the underground auction. "Five billion dollars going thrice, Sold!" And with that amount of money, her life now belongs to that man. Aiden Lazarus, a person known for his cold personality. Not giving any hint of care toward his surroundings. Raising her chin to meet his face, he let out a smirk that soon disappeared after his words. "So, if you cherish that head of yours, don't let me down. Be the best bride you can ever be"

Fate tends to give you things that you don’t wish for. She has her cruel way of testing your tolerance, your faith and your strength. Summer Laurent wished to lead a normal life, as normal as a person with past trauma could lead, but bumping into Dorian King changes all that. Her past chases her and haunts her everywhere and soon she finds herself entangled in the world of the supernatural which was more horrifying than the human world.

COLE : Being the alpha of the largest shifter pack in the state isn't easy or glamorous. It takes quick decisions and a level head, and sometimes I have to make ruthless choices for the greater good. It's a constant balancing act, only achieved with the highest level of organization- every aspect of my life is carefully curated. Some say I'm cold. Detached. Controlling. But we'd descend into chaos if I didn't rule with an iron fist, so I do, and my pack falls in line. Little did I know, all it'd take is one girl to upend my life into chaos. One girl who won't bow to me and fall in line with the rest. Juliet is too young, too wild and stubborn. She's the one I want but can never have. ~ JULIET : All my life, I've played a part. The daughter of our pack's former alpha; the sister of its current alpha. The darling of the Westfield pack. The smart girl. The good girl. The pretty girl. Everyone in my life seems to want me to fit a certain mold and behave a certain way, but I just want to be free. That's why I jumped at the chance to get away from home for the first time. Enrolling at the University in Denver is my golden ticket out of my small town; my first real shot at freedom. It's my chance to let loose and have fun away from the watchful eyes of my brother, and it's one I'm not going to waste. I'm going to flirt with boys. Dance the night away. And the Denver Alpha? Now that I've set my sights on him, he doesn't stand a chance. ~ *While this book is connected to the six-pack series universe, it can be read as a standalone*

When I woke up with a hangover, I found a handsome and naked stranger sleeping beside me. --- I’m Tanya, a surrogate’s daughter, an omega with no wolf and no scent. On my 18th birthday, when I planned to give my virginity to my boyfriend, I found him sleeping with my sister. I went to the bar to get drunk, and accidentally had a one-night stand with the handsome stranger. I thought he was just an ordinary werewolf, but they said he was Marco, the alpha prince and the most powerful Lycan in our kingdom. ‘You slut, you’re pregnant! Fortunately, Rick is kind enough to let you be his mistress and save you from shame.’ my stepmother said, tossing a pregnancy strip on the table. Rick was an old pervert. No she-wolf could keep up with his sexual demand. No she-wolf could survive with him more than 1 year. When I was in despair, Marco came to my rescue. He got down on one knee, took out a ring and said he would marry me. --- I thought Marco married me because he loved me, but later I found that was not the truth…

3 years ago, I faked a pregnancy to steal half a million dollars from my mate. I felt as if I didn’t have any other choice as I had to pay my brother’s ransom or let him die. Now, I would rather die than spend another day being treated with icy, bitter resentment. My name is Rachel Flores and I rejected my alpha mate because I’m ready to live, not just survive! *** "Who are you?" I came awake with a jerk, disoriented and aching all over. A heavy male body lay beside me---we were both naked except for the sheet covering our bodies. Embarrassment stained my skin bright red. I searched my memories of the night before, trying to figure out how I had gotten here while attempting to wrap the sheet around my body. I stopped when I realized I'd leave my bed partner totally nude. My skin felt too hot and too tight as I tried to work out how to get myself out of the situation. I wasn't used to being around naked men even if I was a werewolf. We cared about propriety no matter what humans thought! I remembered myself saying over and over, "I'm your mate!" I eased myself off the bed to look for clothes. I tried to be as quiet as I could so I didn't wake up the stranger. I didn't take the sheet to spare his decency, instead sacrificing my own modesty: I'd rather be caught naked than have to face a naked man I'd evidently seduced with all the subtlety of a bitch in heat! His scent was all over me, all over everything really. Rich and masculine...

ADESSA: I should have known better that nothing good lasts forever. Especially for someone like me—a lowly, orphaned Omega. The last year has been so perfect that I thought I had finally found my place in this world, right in the arms of my mate, Alpha Kael. Kael chose me to be his Luna out of revenge to the female who broke his heart. His reasons didn't matter to me. And though I knew he could never love me the same way he loved Desiree, I have nothing to complain about. Kael was the ideal mate—the perfect Alpha. I was lucky to be his. I was so immersed in the bubbles of my perfect world that I forgot he was never mine in the first place. When tragedy struck, and he awoke with no memory of us, I found myself alone in the shambles of my dreams, witnessing the man I loved walk away with the woman who had broken him. In the blink of an eye, I was back in the same place I was before I met him. KAEL: My life has always been perfect. I am the Alpha of one of the strongest packs on this side of the country and betrothed to the woman who will be the perfect Luna to stand beside me. So when I woke up with no memory of the last two years of my life, married to a woman I had never met and couldn't remember, I began to question everything around me. I wanted nothing to do with her. She is not the Luna I envisioned to end up with. ¤¤¤¤¤ THIS IS A STANDALONE NOVEL AND NOT CONNECTED TO MY PREVIOUS BOOKS/SERIES.  Follow me on my socials for updates and teasers — author.cassa.m.

Cheated and humiliated by her husband, the heiress Dahlia’s life is turned upside down. In a burst of anger she vows to prove to the world she doesn’t need anyone. An unplanned kiss with Dane, a young upcoming businessman who has secrets of his own; opens the doors to new possibilities and makes them join hands. What will happen when the two realise they have far more in common then they ever thought? When lies are uncovered and secrets are spilt, will their budding love blossom? Or will this world of danger, desire and deceit tear them apart? ----- "Are you naturally clumsy, Ms El Nazari, or do you just need an excuse to fall into my arms?” I frowned pushing him away, trying not to pay attention to how firm and toned his body was. "You can carry on wishing Mr Altaire,” I said haughtily, stepping closer I patted his cheek. “I don't do younger men.” ----- I'll close my eyes, Mama. So you can kiss Uncle!” Aria's words made my eyes widen in shock. "We aren't kissing!" I said, quickly rushing off to find a bowl for the beans. I didn't miss Dane's smirk as Aria's eyes became shadowed. Her cheerful mood from moments earlier vanished as she looked down at her shoes. "But I want uncle to be my daddy.”

Amber Lim was famous for her luxurious style and beauty. But, she was also notorious as a man snatcher. Regretting her bad attitude, Amber was determined to start a new life. Despite the extreme winter, she headed north to learn from Adam Smith, the mysterious world's finest jewelry designer. Unfortunately, Amber was robbed and left in a deserted forest. There was only a small hut that could save her from freezing, and there was only one person who could help her survive—Mister Cold. No one knew the man's real name. He deliberately lived a solitary life and hated disturbance. Nearby villagers even called him the Cannibal because of the lack of humanity. While in fact, Mister Cold was just a widower who hated women, especially those who ruined people's relationship. What would happen to Amber? Could she conquer Mister Cold and go home safely? Or instead, could it be she ended up being the widower's delicacy?

Diana Murry is a girl with an unhappy life; her childhood was filled with fear. There has never been a peaceful day in her past. She has been abused and beaten by her stepfather for many years. He was a gambler, a smoker and an alcoholic. And, of course, Diana's mother was also a gambler. Because of this, her parents divorced when she was eight. The climax was when Kirk almost raped her and was about to sell her to gangsters to pay his debt. While on the run, she met Steven. He was like a lifesaver for her to cling to, the last hope she had of being able to escape this hell. Although he saves Diana from gangsters, he doesn't have a good impression of her. Steven thinks she is a spoiled, playboy girl like his ex. Because of those prejudices, Steven has often paid attention to Diana; from time to time, he has been attracted to this lovely and pitiful girl. Later, he discovers Diana's traumatic past and realizes that Diana is a good and honest girl. Her honesty touched Steven's, cold heart. Steven once swore that he would never fall in love again because the blind love for the one he loved made Steven lose faith and everything he treasured, leaving only pain, guilt and a broken heart. But when Steven meets Diana, his heart, once hurt by love, is once again healed and shaken before Diana. However, when Steven realized his feelings for Diana were deepening, Diana decided to leave him because he had hurt her heart deeply. Will the two's hearts be healed after difficulties and events? In the face of Diana's escape, what will Steven do to get her love back so that they both have faith in a full love?