You Can't Hide From Yourself Novels & Stories

I looked at him. "I'm tired of keeping things at the edge," I said. "I have been keeping things at the edge my whole life. Managing what is visible and what isn't. Deciding what is safe to give and what needs to be…" I stopped. I found the specific and honest word. "Hidden. Deciding what needs to be hidden." I paused. "And I don't want to do that here." The specific and quiet statement of it. I don't want to do that here.

I whispered. He smiled again, softer this time, but no less intense. “Especially those things,” he said. “The thoughts you bury, the desires you deny, the fears you hide from yourself… I know them. And you don’t have to be ashamed. You never have to be with me.”

The way that he stood up for me today, the way that he looked at me… There's something between us, and it doesn't seem to matter if I'm Nicole or Evelyn when we meet. That enticing pull is always going to be there. Maybe it's time to stop hiding from it – at least entirely. And there's something else it's time to stop hiding from: myself. I have been thinking about this in the back of my mind all day. It's ridiculous, sleeping in that tiny, windowless, stuffy room. Making myself uncomfortable and miserable, and for what? To prove some kind of point? To whom?

"Yeah." And there are times when I want to hide. I want to run away to a place where no one knows me, and I don't have to shoulder the weight of being a part of something bigger than myself. "I get the urge," Sera said as she moved around on the unpleasant trash. "But I stay. Not because it's easy or because people are suddenly lovely. I stay because if I run away, they win. "Means they were able to kick me out of my own life." That's not the same. You're an adult now. "You can do it." Can I? Because there are days when I can't.

His hand was still on my head. "So stop hiding yourself. Learn to face the problem. You can't solve anything by hiding like this. It will only make people think that there is something wrong otherwise why would you hesitate to come out? Those people hide those who make mistakes. Why hide when we have not done anything wrong?" I hung my head down as my chin was touching my chest.

And my burden is getting heavier. It is so hard to hide what you truly feel. It’s hard to handle all your problems by yourself. It’s like you’re falling into a deep, dark well. I don’t want my friends to see me suffering, that’s why I’m hiding it behind my smiles. But how long can I hold it?

But I couldn’t just let him go , not when I acted like a selfish jerk towards him right now , I can’t take his emotions and efforts for granted while all I do was to reveal an inch of myself when the situation called for it and hide myself in my turtle shell when I want to . “Bella what are you doing ? Let go -“ “ I’m sorry “ I told him interrupting whatever he wanted to say , I knew that what he was asking from me was the right thing . I was just so saddled with the thought that I was unlovable from childhood that I couldn’t trust it that anyone could ever love me , but I didn’t want to sacrifice my happiness , not anymore “ I am so sorry , you are right , I shouldn’t hide myself from you

No matter how many layers I hide behind, it doesn’t go away. “I can still control this,” I whisper. I say it again. “I have to.”

I just want to hug her. But you think of those things. You can't run away from your mind, from your own real self that you keep hiding. Your mind that only wants you to think and do the things that you really want to do. You are really greedy, you may not look like it, but you really do, you want to do things that are out of your control, and show them who you really are and yet you stop yourself from being greedy. And stop yourself from being obsessed. I blow out a loud breath, only to receive a message from Penguin, but this time the code name change into Turtle.

"Your turn. Something real." I hesitate. There are so many real things I could tell him. About Victoria. About the suicide attempt. About spending eight years hiding from the world. "I'm terrified all the time," I say finally. "Every single moment of every single day, I'm scared that people will see the real me and realize how worthless I am. So I hide. I make myself small. I try to disappear. Because being invisible feels safer than being seen and rejected." Julian is quiet for a moment. Then he reaches across the table and takes my hand.