Chapter Two: Old Cycle

"Nadya, what is going on? How did you get here?"

Fillip loosened his arms and eased me back so he could see my face. I did not want to let go. I wanted to stay pressed against his chest where it was warm and safe, but he was waiting for an answer, so I pulled away, still crying. He wiped my cheeks with his thumbs before I could do it myself.

That small gesture made my heart swell. I had replayed this reunion in my head more times than I could count, lying on that mat in the dark, and now it was real.

He was right in front of me, touching my face.

"They let me go," I answered in a small, hoarse voice. "I do not know how, but I am just..." The words jammed in my throat, and I tried again. "I am happy to be home with you again."

My lips pulled downward as another sob escaped me. He studied me, and several emotions flickered across his face, as if he were trying to decide whether to believe my story. Then he sighed, slid his hand to the back of my head and pulled me into his chest again.

I held on to him right away.

"Shh," he whispered and kissed the top of my head. "It is okay now."

I hugged him tighter. His calm voice loosened the tight knot in my chest bit by bit. He rubbed my back slowly, and I lost track of how long we stood there. It felt like exactly as long as I needed. Then I heard footsteps behind us.

I pulled away slowly and turned around. Katya stood there, my older sister, her eyes wide with shock.

For a second, I wanted to stand there and enjoy that look on her face. But being back and alive was already all the satisfaction I needed.

Then I watched her expression shift. In one breath, the shock melted away and an arranged sympathy slid into its place, so smooth that anyone else would have missed it.

"Sister, you are back!"

She rushed into my arms. My legs ached and I winced, pushing her away a little, because I could not hold both of us up.

Her act did not move me.

Katya was two-faced. Around other people she was a lovely dove, soft and sweet. Alone with me, she was a vulture who envied me and wanted to take back everything she thought belonged to her.

When I was five, Katya was seven, and she got lost in an amusement park. My parents searched everywhere for her and could not find her. During all those years, they poured every bit of love and devotion into the daughter who was left, and I grew up very close to my brother and parents.

But when Katya was found again at twelve, she was a completely different person. It started small. If she wanted my teddy bear, my parents would say, "Naddy, why don't you not give that to your sister? You have owned it for many years."

Then there was the Christmas morning after we were all dressed. Katya threw a terrible tantrum because she decided my shoes were prettier than hers. My parents turned to me and said, "Naddy, your sister was gone for such a long time. Would you not be a kind little sister and take off your shoes for her?"

Small things like that kept happening, and my parents never saw anything wrong with them. The last straw was the necklace. Fillip had bought it in Korea and given it to me because he missed my eighteenth birthday. The following month, on Katya's twentieth birthday, she turned down the gift I had picked for her and said she wanted my necklace instead.

My parents talked, the way they always did. But when I refused, my brother stepped in this time. "Why don't you give our sister the necklace? I promise I will talk to Dad about getting you a dog."

It was a tempting deal. Dad did not like dogs, and I had been going back and forth with him about it for a long time. But the necklace was something I loved very much, and it was rare. I did not want to give it up for a pet I would only just be getting to know.

That was the first time I said no.

After that, Katya got better at faking in front of our parents, and I got grounded again and again, until the last time. We were arguing at the top of the stairs when Katya struck me across the face. I was furious and tried to hit her back, but she put on a show as if she were filled with hatred for me and wanted to throw me down the steps.

A maid passing by tried to step in and help. She ended up being the one thrown down the stairs. Katya screamed right away, everyone came running, and she framed me for it.

The maid even had one of Katya's earrings in her palm, proof that she had struggled with someone, but my parents believed Katya over the evidence.

Fillip knew what really happened. He did not say a word when the maid's family came demanding justice. They were given money to keep the police out of it, and my parents lied that I had a mental problem. Then I was thrown into what they called a correctional facility to fix my temper.

But the Youth Detention Penitentiary was never built to fix people. It was built to break them and crush every hope they had of living.

"I cannot believe you are here," Katya continued now. "We missed you so much, Naddy. Are you well in the head now? Is your temper still as mad as it was?"

She spoke with fake concern, but her eyes said something else. They kept traveling down my body, from the beanie to my hoodie to my legs, taking everything in.

I wanted to spit in her face and tell her I did not need any of her fake pity. But if I said that out loud in front of Fillip, it would only cause trouble. So I ignored her and tried to walk past her toward the stairs.

She grabbed both of my hands at once. "Sister, you have not said anything to me. Are you still thinking I am the one at fault, after four and a half years?"

My eyes widened.

Four years already?

"She is happy to see you, Naddy." Fillip's voice came from behind me. "Why do you not say hi to her?"

My fists curled until my nails pressed into my palms. I stared at Katya and forced my mouth to move.

"H-Hi."

I hated that I stuttered.

Katya beamed. "She spoke to me, Fillip." Then she turned back to me. "How is your health now? Is your temper still as bad as it was?”

She was asking again, and the number of times she had repeated it was starting to grate on my nerves. I did not answer. I turned to Fillip instead.

"Please, can you take me to my room?" I asked gently. I did not trust my legs on the stairs, but I could lean on my brother.

"Sure." Fillip smiled and stepped closer.

"No, brother," Katya cut in. "I will take her."

"I will pass."

It came out sharper than I meant it to, and Katya gasped dramatically and stepped back.

"Oh my God. She still hates me. I was just trying to help, and she snapped at me, Fillip. She..."

"Can you just stop, Katya!" I finally lost it. "I do not want you to take me. I want my brother. Why would that be a problem unless you are bent on finding one?"

By the time I finished, Katya was already crying. "I was only trying to help," she said.

"You just got back and you are already picking a fight with your sister, Nadya." Fillip scolded. "You really need to work on your anger issues."

My mouth fell open.

My anger issues?

He left my side and went to comfort her while she cried, and I stood there with my arms hanging at my sides. The scene felt too familiar. My heart felt like it had been stabbed with a sharp knife.

This cycle was happening again.

I was about to say something when footsteps came down the stairs, and I looked up to see my parents.

I froze.

Just then, the front door was slammed open, and every head turned toward it. My heart dropped straight to my stomach.

Five men in black suits walked in, and they parted to let the one in the middle step forward.