4. I want you

Felix didn't remember leaving the practice room.

All he knew was the taste on his lips, the heat that lingered, the way his body still shook as if the kiss had burned into him.

He stumbled into his dorm that night, avoiding the curious stares of his members. He mumbled excuses, shut the door, and collapsed on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"What have I done?"

His fingers brushed over his lips unconsciously. No matter how many times he tried to erase the memory, it kept returning Jimin's voice, his touch, his kiss.

Felix pulled the blanket over his head, biting his lip until it hurt. He should feel disgusted. He should feel terrified.

Instead, he felt alive.

The next 3days day, at the rehearsal room , Felix was rehearsing to his part alone when Jimin appeared. He knew he's going be there alone because since their last meeting Jimin has ordered one of straykids staff to keep telling him his movements. Felix noticed Jimin, even though he covered all of him except his eyes.

When rehearsal ended, Felix tried to slip out unnoticed. But as soon as he turned the corner, a hand shot out, pulling him into the empty stairwell.

"Jimin !!" Felix gasped, his back hitting the cold wall.

Jimin silenced him with a finger against his lips. "Shh."

The stairwell was dim, quiet, the air heavy between them. Jimin's face was close, his eyes dark with something dangerous.

"You've been avoiding me," he said softly, almost accusing.

Felix swallowed hard. "I... I had to. What we did, it was wrong."

Jimin tilted his head, studying him like prey. Then he leaned closer, whispering against Felix's ear.

"Did it feel wrong?"

Felix froze, his body betraying him again. His breath hitched, his pulse quickened, his hands trembled against his sides.

Jimin smirked. "That's what I thought."

His hand cupped Felix's chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. "You can lie to everyone else, but not me. I see the truth in your eyes."

Felix wanted to deny it, to fight back. But the words wouldn't come. His silence was enough.

Jimin leaned in, pressing a brief, claiming kiss against his lips before pulling away just as quickly. His eyes burned with possession.

"You're mine, Felix. Even if you run, you'll always come back, and if you don't come back i myself will find you."

And with that, he released him, leaving Felix breathless in the stairwell, his knees weak and his heart spiraling deeper into the abyss.

Felix pressed a hand to his chest, trembling. He should have felt trapped. Instead... he felt wanted. Desired in a way no one had ever dared.

And that terrified him most of all.

Felix thought he could hide it.

The dark circles under his eyes, the way his hands shook during practice, the strange silence that replaced his usual laughter.

But idols live in glass houses. Nothing stays hidden forever.

"Felix, are you okay?" Chan's voice was careful that night in the dorm. He stood by the doorway, arms crossed, watching him too closely.

Felix forced a smile, nodding quickly. "Just tired, hyung. Rehearsals are... a lot."

Chan didn't look convinced, but he let it go. The moment he left, Felix exhaled sharply, clutching his hoodie tighter around himself.

He couldn't let them know.

Not about Jimin.

Not about what was happening in the shadows.

Because every night, Jimin came back.

Sometimes a text.

Sometimes a call.

Sometimes a sudden appearance in the dark corners of the company halls where cameras couldn't see.

And each time, Felix swore he would resist. Swore he would say no.

But when Jimin's hand touches against his, when those eyes locked on him like he was the only thing in the world every wall he built crumbled.

It was raining the night Jimin cornered him again. The building was almost empty, the sound of thunder rumbling above as Felix tried to leave rehearsal.

But Jimin was already there, waiting by the back exit.

"Felix." His voice was calm, steady, but it made Felix freeze.

"Hyung..." Felix whispered, his throat dry.

Jimin stepped forward, his umbrella dripping water onto the floor. His hand lifted, fingers brushing through Felix's damp hair, tucking a strand behind his ear.

Jimin said calmly....

"You look exhausted," he murmured. "Are you thinking about me that much?"

Felix's breath caught. "You're ruining me," he said, voice trembling. "I can't sleep. I can't think straight."

Jimin's lips curved into a dark smile. "Good, I'm glad you're feeling the same way I'm feeling when it's only me."

Before Felix could react, Jimin pulled him close, pressing his forehead against his. The rain outside hammered louder, drowning out the world.

"You don't understand yet," Jimin whispered. "I want you. The sooner you accept it, the easier it'll be."

Felix's chest heaved, his fists trembling at his sides. Part of him wanted to scream, to shove Jimin away and run. But another part stronger, hungrier leaned into the warmth, into the danger.

And when Jimin kissed him again, Felix let himself fall.

Because he knows he want him more than jimin wanted him.

But later that night, back in his dorm bed, staring at the ceiling with shaking hands Felix realized something terrifying.

He was starting to want it.

Felix used to find peace in practice.

The rhythm of dance, the sound of music, the sweat on his skin it had always grounded him.

But now, nothing was the same.

Every beat reminded him of the way Jimin moved.

Every lyric twisted into his voice.

Every mirror showed a boy who wasn't just Felix anymore but someone owned.

It started small.

A glance at his phone, hoping for Jimin's name to light up the screen.

The disappointment that followed when it didn't.

The rush of heat when it finally did.

"Come to me."

"I need to see you."

"Don't make me wait."

Each message felt like chains and yet Felix answered every time.

One night, he found himself sneaking out of the dorm, hoodie pulled low, mask covering half his face. The streets were dark, the city alive but blurred as he followed the quiet path to the place Jimin had told him.

Jimin will parked his car at the abandoned warehouse, Empty, Hidden, Dangerous.

The moment Felix stepped inside, Jimin was already waiting leaning against the wall like a shadow that had been carved out just for him.

"You came," Jimin said simply, as if there had never been a doubt.

Felix's throat tightened. "I shouldn't have."

Jimin moved closer, slow, deliberate, until the air thickened. His hand brushed Felix's jaw, tilting his face up. "But you did."

And when Jimin kissed him, Felix broke.

It wasn't soft. It wasn't careful. It was fire and smoke, a burn that sank deeper with every second. Felix clung to him, desperate, aching, needing more even as fear clawed at his chest.

He hated himself for it.

He hated how much he wanted it.

He knew he's a forbidden fruit that he shouldn't eat, but he can't help it but fall hard for him.

When Jimin finally pulled away, Felix's lips were swollen, his breath ragged. His hands trembled as he whispered, "You're destroying me hyung"

Jimin's smirk was dark, his eyes unreadable. "No, Felix. I'm remaking you."

Felix asked "does your group knows that you're coming here?"

Jimin answered with fear on his face "am I dare to tell them that I'm coming to see a boy I love and sometimes they all think I would be in my house "

Felix sighed and said "Jimin you know we're doing something wrong right?"

Jimin gave a dark smile. "yes but when you're here with me like this everything feels right"

They teased each other and kissed more and chatted a little before Felix said good bye to him annd went back to the group house.