Alpha Fenriz

Every night at 3 am, I wake up crying from a nightmare, the same nightmare I’ve had since I turned 18. I don’t remember much about it; the only things which remain with me are the fact that my hands are stained red with blood and a terrible sadness burrows in my heart.

That, and a hint of freshly cut teakwood and burnt sage.

/You’re dreaming about him again,”/ Ahmya opens her eyes and speaks from within me. I ignore her once more and try to focus on getting my breathing under control. She says this every time I awake from this nightmare, and I refuse to let her elaborate on who she means.

She is the fox spirit I was born with, but one I refuse to acknowledge. Silver fur with a green aura, dull green eyes, but her tail count and markings she has yet to confide in me. I know ignoring the spirit will upset it more, but I would much rather ignore her than admit what awakened within me four years ago.

Where each of my six older siblings received an elemental Kitsune on their 18th birthday, I received… something else. Something dark, something that craves chaos and death. Ahmya is not a benevolent spirit, not at all. 

I think my father knows of this as he is the head of the family in possession of a five-tailed spirit. He’s the oldest and strongest in our family line and has us all under his iron grip, well… me especially. I don’t recall ever being treated with respect or kindness. Even my mother never seemed to look my way; I always wondered if she knew why. 

To show you just how much he loathes me, I will explain something that might seem small to others but is a massive insult to me. We are a Fire Clan, and my siblings have names representing fire.

Yet he named me Umiko with the kanji written as “child of the ocean.” If this is not a means to demean and belittle me, then what is? 

/“Listen to me for once, Umiko,”/ Ahmya urges when I don’t respond. /“Something exciting will happen today! Something that will change us!”/

I frown at her words, not wanting to give in to her, but she now has my interest piqued.

/“What do you mean?”/

/“You will see when your father speaks with you later on,”/ she replies before disappearing once more. 

/“That is all you have to say to me after telling me to listen to you?!”/ I exclaim as anger seeps into my heart, but Ahmya only giggles at my frustration. She always does this; every time I eventually answer her, she ignores me. As if tempting me into speaking with her, simply to ignore me as I do to her.

Well, now I can’t go back to sleep at all.

When the entire household is awake the following morning, Yui, my handmaiden, informs me that my father has called for me specifically to have tea with him in his study. To say this surprises me is putting it lightly; never in my twenty-two years of being his daughter has he ever called for me alone.

We live in a traditional Japanese house called a Minka, passed down from one Kaen generation to the next, and always to the head of the household: the eldest son. My father possesses an old, wizened fox spirit inside of him, one who has seen many wars and one who craves more. 

This is why it confuses me that my father would shun me so, when Ahmya and his spirit would get along well since they’re both…dark. Well, I know his fox spirit pretends to be benevolent when in actual fact, it harbors a lot of hatred. 

Perhaps this is the reason he hates me; I can see who he truly is.

“Father, I am here,” I call to him in my mother tongue, and he permits me to enter. He is already sitting at the round chabudai, a short-legged table, when I enter and I sit on my knees in the vacant spot in front of him.

My father is not only the head of the family but also a Yakuza head. He is a very stern-looking, powerful man with greying hair and tattoos that cover every inch of his body. He’s tall, with a proud nose and dark eyes, which turn to their flame color as soon as his kitsune takes over. 

Kaen Tsukishima instills fear into the hearts of everyone he meets, especially his own family.

He doesn’t look up when I sit down; when he eventually does, he regards me with a scowl.

“Umiko, you are the last of my seven children and the last to get married. I should have expected this since you are not as beautiful as your three older sisters.” He starts, already impaling me with his harsh words, but I have grown used to them. 

I am the runt of the family, after all.

“However, last night, I had the most glorious dream which saw you married to a powerful man. I have made arrangements for us to go over to Las Vegas and meet with him to discuss your pending engagement.” 

I blink at what he says, trying to comprehend what he’s just told me. Marriage? Arrangements?

“Marriage, Father? Who might this man be?” I ask, but he simply shuts me up with a glare. “Apologies.”

“We leave in the morning; get Yui to prepare all your belongings.” That is all he says, then dismisses me with a wave of his hand. 

I walk out of his study in a daze at what he’s just told me. I am to be married to a powerful man who lives in the States - far away from my father’s hateful glare and right into a stranger’s arms. 

/“I told you today will change us!”/ Ahmya chuckles and curls up with her tails and disappears. 

She keeps a few hidden from me, so I do not see them all, but once she slipped up and I counted seven. I know it must be a mistake because I cannot possibly be in possession of a seven-tailed fox; that would make me more powerful than my father.

So, she knew something like this would happen, then? I wonder how and if it has something to do with these dreams I’ve been having lately. 

I shake my head and breathe a long sigh; well, I suppose that I need to tell Yui that tonight will be our last night here after all. To be honest, I don’t know if I should feel happy or sad.

Better the devil you know than the one you don’t.