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14. Lincoln
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Always 15. Lincoln
So, some of you might say that I’m a fool. Others might think I’m crazy. You know what? I think of myself as both: I am a fool and I am crazy.I am a fool to be in love with a girl who not only didn’t know I love her, but also pretty much on the way of loving someone else. I am crazy to keep pining on her eventhough this feeling is most likely never to be reciprocated.In his song, Mokita said he needed to know that he didn’t fall in love alone this time. Well, whoever you are, tell him a good luck from me. Because, here, I already know that I’ve fallen in love alone, all this time.I knew it and I couldn’t stop.I knew why and I won't stop.That’s the thing about love.It didn’t have a switch. You love when you love. You can’t turn it on, or off, anytime you want. Or, in my case, when I discovered that there’d be no love between us, as she said to my face.Sad? Yes.Pathetic? Absolutely.But, what can I say? What can I do? Nothing.Beside ....“Wanna play truth or dare, Je?” I ask the
Always 16. Bryanna
To say last night was perfect is an understatement. To say it was ruined is another understatement. Because we’re talking about two different elements here, you know, two determining persons; Nate and Lincoln.Nate made it perfect because, hello, his kiss. And his presence. He made my heart flutters. He woke the butterflies in my belly and sent me flying high. Despite all, I have to lock Jerry in my room and I felt guilty about it. I still am.Meanwhile, Lincoln, well, his timing sucked like nothing else. Why did he have to arrive in the middle of the most amazing moment of my life? He made the situation freaking awkward for a while there. But ... if I have to admit something to myself, Jerry is in the best hand now. Lincoln took care of him as best as Adrian, if not better. You can say that they make co-parenting look so easy. Jerry is well-loved thanks to them.Ugh.After they left, Nate said he was no longer hungry so he ended up bringing the pizza home at my insistence. Soon, I was
Always 17. Bryanna
Nope, no, no, no. Not gonna happen.“What do you mean? Why should I ask for that asshole forgiveness?” I bombard my brother with questions. I soooo do not understand his line of thinking. What did I do? When did I do him wrong?To Lincoln of all people?My brother is getting crazy.“Just do it, Bry. Ask him,” he replies—which doesn’t answer any of my questions—with no elaboration which confusing me and it makes my ire go higher. And I really don’t want to go off on him so soon after I asked for his forgiveness.But, I said I want to be better. I shouldn’t be angry right now. God, change is so. Damn. Difficult.“I wish I could, but it’s not my story to tell,” Adrian continues without knowing my internal turbulence. “Sometimes we hurt people without realizing we were hurting them.”What the hell is he talking about? Come on, Bry, you’re changing for the better, remember? Deep inhale, hold it. One, two, three. Let it go. Good. Feel yourself getting calmer. Feel your anger leaving with ev
Always 18. Bryanna
“I think Tom will propose,” she blurts out when we are sitting side to side on her bedroom floor to literally transfer those new things into her suitcases, tags and all be damned.“Wait, what?” I faux-gasp and then roll my eyes. Come on, it is like, duh! “Of course, he will. He’s insane if he won’t,” I tell my best friend ...... who is fishing for more assurance when she asks, “Really?”“Really, Mo,” I emphasize, still folding a Balenciaga shirt that had cost her an arm. “You’re gorgeous. You’re fun, you’re talented. You’re good at what you did. And most importantly, you’re the best friend a girl could ask for. He will be lucky to have you for the rest of his life.”Unluckily, for me, that sentence bring my thought to a certain conversation about a certain man that I wouldn’t think of in a certain way.Nu-uh. Tris was wrong. No way in hell I want to be with that giant grump.No. Fucking. Way.Morwenna lets out a happy sigh. I am back to the now again. “Thank you.” She gives me the tig
Always 19. Bryanna
But, that dramatic tendency is what I miss so much from her when she’s away. They flew on Sunday and it’s only Wednesday and I already miss her like crazy. We hadn’t had any texts or calls. I don’t want to intrude her because I know she is having the best time of her life now. I can’t help but be happy for her. She and Tom really made for each other. Like, Nate and ... me?I giggle. Sneaking a glance to the phone beside my arm on the desk, I am proudly admit that I’m waiting for Nate’s text. We’ve been texting all the time since last weekend. And the texts? Oh my, don’t ask. I don’t want my assistant find me blushing in my office.Wink, wink, wink!The sound of my phone’s vibration on the glass makes my heart beats faster. I couldn’t grab it soon enough. Nate : *I can’t keep your lips out of my head*Reading his message, the room’s temperature suddenly climbs up couple of degrees. Why does it feel really hot in here? Nate : *I wonder if mine can meet them again soon*Okay, my body’
Always 20. Nathan
Fuck, she's ....I struggle to find a word that will describe her because I don't want to sound too sentimental and risking it look like something it isn't. Because it is. Not a thing.I know, I know. I still have her lips locks with mine and I'm still groping every curve I can reach of her sinful body. But, that doesn't mean I owe her anything, right? Despite the texting, swapping saliva, and touching, we were just playing, accompanying each other. Nothing serious, really.I like her, sure. I like her beauty, man, who didn't? Just look at that big hazel pools of hers, shine with such innocence. Like the world hadn't sinked its poisonous talons on her and showed her what the real world was all about.Maybe that's true, considering her perfect upbringing. The true American princess.And, hadn't you see those curves? Wrapped in that dark red dress? Clinging to her body on the right places, the flare compliments her fucking perfect hips.Come fucking on, don't tell me you don't want a p
Always 21. Nathan
Fuck. That was ... that was ... that was .... Fuck.What we do just now was ... wow.I ... I have had a lot of experiences—I told you I wasn't a liar, nor am I a coward who couldn't admit he likes casual sex, but, in the scale from one to ten, the sex we had was eleven. Man!We're both still laying on the couch, chest heaving from the sexercise—yes, that's a word, my word. Clothes littered the floor around this fucking big ass sofa. Now I know why these rich people liked to buy the kind of luxury. It's comfortable. It's spacious. It's useful.If you get my drift.Oh, man. I have to get one after I sign my contract. Fuck, yes!"So." We said it simultaneously. I look to my left, to the woman who gave me the best sexperience—what? That's a word. You know, mine. She is trying to hide her nakedness with her arm and hand.I chuckle at her failed attempt of modesty.She giggles at her own silliness. She then uses those hands to hid her face. I don't know what she is trying to do, hiding fro
Always 22. Bryanna
I wake up to his empty side of bed and a note on his pillow. I know I sound too attached already, but, why do you care? It will be his side and his pillow from now on. ‘Head to the studio. Thanks for dinner. N’ Thanks for dinner? Is he serious? Thank you for the best night of my life! I feel my cheeks—no, all of my body—heating, remembering the memories of last night. Holy moly, Batman! Nate was … he was … incredible.Sigh. It’s a shame I couldn’t wake up to him beside me but I’m quite sure we’ll have more chances in the future. Right now, he’s focusing on his dream. And I have to support that. Yes, I will be a supportive girlfriend for him. Oh my God. I couldn’t believe I just said that! I did, didn’t I? Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. I’m Nate’s girlfriend. I’m the girlfriend of Nathaniel Moore. Nate is my boyfriend! Double sigh. I really, really, really like the sound of that. Blissfully, I float through the apartment in attempt to prepare myself for work. With mo
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