“Assassinate the Alpha.” His instructions were clear and easy. Easy because it was me. I had taken down strong men and powerful women. Men who never thought they could be taken down. Taking them down was not easy either but again it was because it is me. Men stood no chance where I stood. There are older men and even women in our club. Yet I joined six months ago and I have taken down more than each has in the last thirty years since my father founded the organization. I overheard people in the organization murmur and gossip among themselves that my father trained me differently, but that was where they missed it. My father never trained me. In fact he did not want me anywhere close to the organization. He said multiple times that he wanted a normal life for me. That I am a happy girl with the nature of a sunflower – I was always happy. Which is an absolute contrast to my name if you take out the two latter words.
View MoreI woke up coughing and spitting out the seawater coming from the inside of me.
Ang mapait na tubig dagat ay pilit kong ibinubuga para lamang makahinga ng maayos. I didn't mind whatever is happening around me, all I wanted is to breathe.
The last thing I remembered, was a sinking ship and I am fighting for my life.
Paano ito nangyari? Hindi ko din alam.
Then it all started when;
"What is this again kuya?" I asked him. I am very tempted to remove my blindfold.
Ito kasing kuya ko, daming alam.
"Hang in there, you're inside your room." he's holding my hand, guiding me para hindi ako madulas o mabunggo. He's very gentle.
Maraming taon na ang lumipas. Ilang pagsusubok at problema na dumating. Araw, gabi, oras, segundo, minu-minuto ang kuya ko ang kasama ko.
Our parents died since we were little. My brother was the one who stood up for me when I was down, lost, and whenever I feel like the world betrayed me for a lifetime.
I somehow regret and blamed myself for everything that happened to them, but never did I once heard my brother spit words that could and would possibly hurt me.
Naging mabuting Kuya siya sa akin. Ni minsan, hindi siya nagkulang sa pag gabay. He never made me feel that I am alone. He never made me feel that I am being left out.
In his every decision, I am included. In his every transaction, I was there.
He is always here.
"In a minute," he whispered that made me come back to my senses.
"Now," he said as a cue for me to remove the thing that is blocking my sight.
"What is this?" I asked when I saw two papers on my bed.
Kinuha ko ito pero agad niya ding kinuha sa kamay ko.
"Nah, you can't see where we'll be going but these are tickets." he told me. Iwinagayway pa siya ang dalawang papel sa harapan ko.
Daming pakulo tss. Pabiro ko siyang hinampas ng unan ko at tinawanan niya lang ako. He looked excited. Mas na eexcite pa nga ata siya keysa sa akin.
Naupo siya sa gilid ko saka niyakap ako ng mahigpit. He seems so happy.
"What is this for?" I asked him out of nowhere. I think I knew it already but I still should ask him. Baka mali ang iniisip ko. Baka mali ang hinala ko.
Sana nga mali nalang.
"Dwyn," kalma niyang tinawag ang pangalan ko.
He knew where this is coming.
Years had already passed, nothing has ever changed. He never stopped trying to pursue or do something that I don't like.
The trauma is still here. I'm afraid. I'm scared. I almost lose everyone, I can't afford to lose my Kuya that's why I'm being careful.
Things may suck up again. I feel like I'm cursed. Oh no, I'm really cursed.
"Just tell me, kuya!" hindi ko na napigilang masigawan siya.
"I just wanted to make your birthd-" he didn't finished because I cut him off.
"No! How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want it!" sigaw ko sa kanya.
I'm so frustrated. I don't know what to do. Every year ganto nalang lagi. I don't want to celebrate my birthday because as much as I want to, I can't help but to overthink that something bad might happen.
I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to lose him as well.
"There's nothing wrong if we will try Dwyn." mahinahong sabi niya sa akin.
Ilang taon pa ba? Ilang taon pa ba ang kailangan lumipas para makalimutan ko ang lahat? Ilang taon pa ba ang lilipas bago ko ma enjoy ang kaarawan ko?
"You don't understand," sabi ko. My tears are already on my eyes' edges.
"I am doing everything to understand you Dwyn, but not all the time it's just you who needs to be understood." he told me like he's very disappointed.
I spent more than half of my life not celebrating my birthday because for me, it's a curse.
"I need space kuya," I begged him.
That's a cue for him to stand and get out of my room but before that, he said something.
"You can't and you won't get over the past if you keep on remembering and bringing up everything Dwyn. Sometimes you just got to accept it and move on. Some things are meant to stay, and gone." he wiped his tears.
I never saw him like that. I never saw him cry, nor shed a single tear. When our parents died, he was there to comfort me but I never saw him mourn over our parents' death. He's always putting me first.
Maybe he's right. Maybe I should try.
But I wished I never did.
"Kapitan, buhay siya!" I automatically came back to my senses. Madami akong narinig na sigaw ng mga tao malapit sa akin.
Napadapa ako para mas madali sa aking ilabas ang kung ano mang pwede kong ilabas sa aking bibig.
Parang nagkakagulo sila pero heto ako, umuubo parin at pilit na inilalabas ang tubig saka sumisinghap ng hangin habang hawak hawak ang aking d****b tila ba iniinda ang sakit doon.
I felt someone rub my back to help me. Hindi ko iyon kilala dahil hindi ko siya pinagtuonan ng pansin.
Nang nakahinga na ako ng maluwag, napayakap ako sa sahig. I feel so tired. Medyo masakit din ang paa ko dahil sa nangyari kanina.
Woah, that was intense.
Until I remembered the voices earlier.
Dahan-dahan akong umupo at agad kong inimulat ang aking mata, I froze.
I saw one... wait no, not only one but many man in front of me. Nagkatitigan kaming lahat. Inilibot ko ang paningin ko at ni isa, wala akong nakitang babae.
They were looking at me like I'm a prey. Or were they curious? Lahat sila ay naka itim. Itim na damit, pantalon, sapatos at pati sumbrero! They look like a, pirate!
Late na ang reaction ko, I know but I still shouted in horror because they were smiling at me and walking near me!
They looked awe seeing me there like a wet chicken, ready to be toasted.
"No, no! Stop, right there!" sigaw ko sa kanila, trying to scare them away even though I look like a scared, wet, and small rat.
"Out of the way." I heard someone say. His voice is cold that could freeze you.
Those man in front of me gave way to someone behind them. I hugged me knees and hid my face in horror knowing that this could be the end of me.
"What's the plan Captain?" I heard someone asked. It's the kid who rubbed my back when I was coughing.
Are they going to kill me? Abduct me? Sell my organs? Make me their slave? Feed me in this ocean full of sharks and other scary sea creatures?
"Ask her," sagot ulit ng taong may malamig na boses.
His voice sounded familiar. Parang narinig ko na noon pero hindi ko alam kung saan, at kailan.
Pinakiramdaman ko ang paligid. Parang may lumapit sa akin at lumuhod ito sa harapan ko.
"Miss?"
"No, dont touch me." I told him softly. Nanatili akong nakayuko dahil sa takot.
Para akong kawawa. Where's my kuya?
"But you have to make a choice, what do you want to happen?" he asked me again.
And then I remembered what happened earlier.
I was inside this cruise ship with kuya but then the ship started sinking and we don't know what's the reason.
We were struggling to survive but my kuya couldn't make it, and can't do anything to save him.
"We're going to get you out of here, Dwyn. Not only me." pagmamatigas niya.
Mabilis ang paglubog ng barko. I can't help but to panic thinking that this might be the end of me.
"Just save yourself kuya! Tumataas na ang tubig!" sigaw ko sa kanya habang pilit na kinukuha ang paa kong naipit sa nasirang parte ng barko.
"If you die, I die!" sigaw niya pabalik sa akin.
He sacrificed himself for me. If he didn't tried to get me out, buhay pa siguro siya ngayon.
I told him! I told him to stop trying because everytime I try, I never fucking succeed!
Agad na namuo ang galit sa akin. Stupid Dwyn! You're a swimmer but when it comes to survival times like that you're being stupid?
And I'm back at it again, blaming myself.
Just like what happened years ago, on the day of my birthday, someone left me again. And this time, I am now all alone.
"Maybe she got no plans with her life, throw her out." agad ako natauhan nang narinig ko ulit na nagsalita ang lalaking may malamig na boses.
Plans? What plans do I have to plot out when I got no one?
"Are you sure Captain?" tanong sa kanya ng taong nasa harapan ko.
"When am I not sure about my orders Junger?" the man with the cold voice who's supposed to be the captain said.
"Uhh miss... you need to get off the ship." he politely said na para bang kinakausap niya ang babasagin na baso.
Dahan-dahan kong iniangat ang aking ulo para tignan ang sitwasyon. May batang lalaki na nakaluhod sa harapan ko at may mga tao sa likuran niya pero napako ang mata ko sa nakakabighaning lalaki sa aking harapan.
"She's wasting our time, throw her. We have a journey to finish." sabi ng Kapitan nila.
Journey. Maybe this is where I belong. I live in this world questioning why I deserve that. Why do I deserve to suffer.
This time, I don't know how I got here but maybe this is what faith is trying to make me realise. Maybe this time I can make this right, but I am afraid of trying.
"Now!" sigaw niya sa mga kasama noong walang gumalaw sa kanila.
"You can't and you won't get over the past if you keep on remembering everything Dwyn. Sometimes you just got to accept it and move on. Some things are meant to stay, and gone."
I remembered my Kuya's words.
Does that mean he's part of my past now? A past that I'm supposed to forget? But how? How am I supposed to do that when I'm still stuck?
"No! Wait!" dali dali akong gumapang papunta sa kanya saka hinawakan ang kanyang bota nang akma siyang aalis.
"What do you want?" he asked me the same question that they're yearning an answer for.
I stared at him. He look flawless. He's wearing all black like the other but he stood up. Bagay nga sa kanya maging Kapitan. He look deadly gorgeous.
If looks could kill, I'm probably a cold corpse right now.
"I want to join." I told him using my coldest voice. I don't know if I covered that up and I hope I did.
Kasi ayoko nang kaawaan. Ayokong palagi nalang sila nag aadjust para sa akin.
I have to learn standing on my own, because the ocean is never still and you can't stop the waves, but you can go with it.
I am Arwaa Dwyn Adair, no wave can stop me from trying.
EMMETT.Shell is deeply asleep, and from the door, I can see my mate cosied up on the sofa. She looks so peaceful, like she has no worries at all; it kind of steadies my mind. My feet are unmoving. I know the moment I open the door, I might wake her.Moving into another apartment is a great idea. The thought of any other person getting to watch her sleep makes the almost non-existent hairs at the back of my neck stand. I love the way she appears mean to everyone.Only I get to see her this way frequently.I linger at the door, unwilling to disturb the rare calm that settles over her. The world outside is different—colder, harsher. The rain pounds against my skin like a cold shower, the chill seeping through my clothes. But none of it matters as long as she gets her beauty sleep.“Shit,” I mutter as she raises her head, her eyes narrowed as her hand moves over the sofa until she grabs her phone.“You’re late,” she yawns, sitting up as I walk in, my clothes heavier than normal.“The mee
SADIE.I should have known he wouldn't keep such documents at home. What if the records aren’t even in a file? What if he has them backed up on a storage device or cloud?Striding out of his office, I unbutton my shirt. The dog barks repeatedly, hopping so I see him, and when I glance his way, he calms down.“Can you talk?” I ask, making a face at the dog, and it shakes its head.Okay, he understands. I know to be quiet around him now. I’m sure Emmett won’t have a useless pet.“Do you think he’s going to return home tonight?” I ask, and he barks.I don't know if that bark means yes or no.“Let’s do it like this: if you think he's coming back home tonight, hop to the left. If he won’t be returning home tonight, hop forward. Do you understand?” I ask, pressing my palms to my waist as I move closer to the door.It barks.Okay.“Hop left!” He does. “Now, right!” He does.Okay, cool!“Is he coming back home tonight?” I ask, and he makes a whistling sound before hopping to the left.Okie.“
EMMETT. “Hold on,” I say to Cullen, taking my phone off my ear as I open the door.I can almost swear that someone touched this handle. I am not wrong—Qet’s peach scent wafts through my senses. She’s here.The lights come on, and of course, she is nowhere in sight.“I will be with you all shortly. I forgot the flash drive,” I return the phone to my ear.“We are waiting. Liam has a lot of complaints to pass across. Whatever Jasmine did to have him as a puppy rather than the Gamma that he is...” Liam is forever hating on people in relationships.At this point, the pack needs to find him a wife.“I smell jealousy,” I remark, inching closer to my desk.She’s either beneath the desk or hiding behind the swivel chair.“I don’t care enough to be jealous. I am hanging up.” He ends the call as he has said.The drive is in the drawer. If I get to the drawer, I will blow up her little stunt. I want to tell her to breathe, but I can leave so she breathes. Walking out of the office, I saunter towa
SADIECullen leaves, not bothering to bid Emmett goodbye as I return to the living room, cradling my hand against my chest. But Emmett’s sharp eyes catch the crimson seeping through my finger before I can put my hand behind me.In an instant, he’s in front of me, his drink abandoned on the table, his hands reaching out for mine.“What happened?” His voice is low, but the unmistakable edge beneath reveals he has an idea of who might have hurt me.Cullen is a heartless fool. He feigned the oversight. He certainly saw my finger bleed, but he can’t acknowledge it. Maybe Emmett will kill him.“It’s not a big deal,” I respond, trying to pull away.“Don’t,” he murmurs, his grip firm yet gentle as he opens my hand. His jaw tightens at the sight. “Cullen?”It’s as deep as it hurts.My decided silence ticks a muscle in his perfect jaw, but he refrains from the anger, inhaling slowly, controlling it. Without another word, I allow him to lead me to the couch.He pulls me down beside him, his movem
SADIE.“Guess who finally walked in through the door properly this time,” Cullen remarks as I walk into Emmett’s living room with two trolley bags.“I believe that is not how you intend to be with your Alpha’s wife.” As the words roll off my tongue, Emmett chokes on the drink he was about to swallow, and Liam grins.“You gave us a scare. We looked for you all over. Emmett even called your father, who said he knew nothing about your whereabouts. We tried calling too—nothing. It’s good to see you. Congratulations on your engagement to Emmett,” Liam says, packing up his laptop and phone. “Now, I can head home to my wife,” he adds, standing up.“Thank you so much, Liam. I will see your wife tomorrow or the next. I appreciate her kind gesture,” I respond, walking towards Cullen, who stands too. “Can I see you for a moment, please, Cullen?”“Sure,” he responds, his eyes following me as I walk towards Emmett to cup his face.“Hi, soon-to-be husband. Just a few seconds, and we will have the re
SADIE.I glance at the mirror one more time, ensuring my eyes are not giving me away anymore, and draw in a deep breath. I stretch my fingers and nod repeatedly.“Fake it till you make it, Siyah. One thing you have always done is pick yourself up at all times. This is just a minor setback you can overcome!” I murmur and turn away.I am not running. If I run, I will call more attention to myself. Even if the world is coming to an end, and I necessarily have to end up with a man, it cannot be Matthew. I cannot spend the rest of my life with a man who isn’t as— how do I phrase my words? I cannot be with a man that is not Emmett.Emmett is the instigator of Esther’s death, so I am not marrying any man except him.I will break him slowly. Go through every and any extent to stay so close to him, and when the time is right, he will regret ever loving me.My father doesn’t want me at the agency anyway. I have also been on and off at the law firm. All I have left is my ten-year life warranty sa
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