4

PERCIE

It had been a week since I met Hailey. I was not supposed to think about her, but I couldn’t just stop, and it was starting to get annoying. It was maybe because they somehow looked alike. 

I started looking at myself in the mirror, counting our similarities. 

She didn’t talk much, as if socially withdrawn. She only said five words during the entire dinner then she excused herself.

Keith mentioned that she would be starting her college at Hillston this semester. What a coincidence. My stupid inner-self somehow hoped for the possibility that we might bump with each other. 

As he promised, he took my number. Now, we were constantly exchanging texts. He even invited me for dinner again. I made an excuse that I couldn’t make it, which was the truth. I had to meet Grandpa every Saturday. 

But Keith didn’t buy my excuse. So I had to meet him again. Grandpa was relieved that I started talking to someone again. 

I took the flowers I bought on my way. After taking a huge breath, I knocked on the door. I could feel my palms sweating in nervousness. My pulses were throbbing everywhere. I squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for the door to open. 

“Percie,” someone just called my name, and the smell of apple cinnamon wafted my nose. 

I opened my eyes to see the beautiful Hailey before me. Her hair was braided. Her brown eyes were staring at me. She quickly dropped her gaze the moment she noticed I was staring back at her. Well, I was checking her out. 

 She was a sight to behold. I preferred girls with less makeup like Hailey. 

I could count the freckles on the bridge of her nose. She applied lipgloss. This time, she wore a sweater with skinny jeans and flats. 

Before I could go far checking her from head to toe, I cleared my throat. “Sorry.” Where are my manners?  “Good evening, Hailey.” 

She smiled timidly. “Evening. Please, come in.” She stepped back, letting me in.

I closed the door behind us. I second thought of giving her the flowers or to Lillian. 

“Mom is in the kitchen. Dad is still on his way. He stops by at the grocery store to buy something Mom’s asked him to.” Well, those were the longest words she ever spoke. 

“Um. I-i um, I b-brought flowers,” I stuttered. This never happened before. What the fuck is wrong with me?  

I offered the flowers to her. She just stared at the bouquet in my hand, then looked up to me, then back to the flowers as if thinking twice to take them or not. Well, this was getting awkward.

“Um, okay.” Finally. “I’ll give them to Mom. Thanks,” she said quietly. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

I sat on the same couch. 

Lillian came out from the kitchen with a huge smile on her face. “Percie, glad you could make it. Come here and hug me,” she says, offering her arms for a hug. 

Before I could walk towards her, she almost launched herself into me. Her hug was so tight as if out of excitement. Sometimes I felt grateful that they’d treated me nicely. I still couldn’t find reasons why I deserved the treatment they gave to me. 

I was a horrible person. They didn’t have any idea who I was and what I did. I couldn’t allow them to get close to me like this. This was too much. When I started caring for people, they tended to get hurt because of me.

“Thank you for having me again, Lillian.” 

She pulled away. ”Thank you for coming, dear. And for the flowers. So sweet of you.” 

The moment you find out who I was, you will never be able to say the sweet word again.

“I can’t just eat your food without bringing something for you, Lillian.” 

She giggled. “Oh, Percie, you really don’t have to bring anything but thank you again. Have a seat, dear. Keith is on his way.” She then looked at her daughter. “Hailey, sit with Percie for a while while I’m preparing the table.” 

Hailey gave her mom a nod.

Lillian strode back to the kitchen, leaving Hailey and me alone. My heart beat uncomfortably fast. 

I sat back on the couch. Hailey did the same across mine. 

The silence was killing me. I didn’t know if I should start the conversation or I should just admire Hailey's beautiful face while she was dwelling on this awkward situation. 

I licked my lips and cleared my throat that caught her attention. Her eyes were enormous.

“You don’t say much, do you?” 

Her cheeks turned pink. She shook her head. 

“Me either. I don’t talk much.”

“Um, Dad said, you’re attending at Hillstons.” 

My mouth gaped as I stared at her. She really had an angelic voice that hit my heart painfully. 

If my heart beat faster, this time it was wild, making me almost breathless. I blinked to let myself be aware that I was still here in reality. This is so fucking strange. 

I licked my lips again. ”Yeah. Sophomore next semester. I heard you’ll be attending at Hillston, too.” 

Her gaze flew up to me. “Yeah. I’m planning to take English Lit.” 

My heart fluttered. I never thought it was possible because I could see her writing or teaching Literature. 

“What book did you read today, Hailey?” I asked curiously. 

Her eyes widened again. Why did she always look at me with disbelief? “I um. I read The Identicals.” Interesting. 

I knew about that book. 

Someone unlocked and closed the door that interrupted my thoughts. 

“Percie, you’re here?” Keith’s voice sounded so merry. 

I met Keith midway. “No. It’s his ghost who tried to haunt you tonight.” 

He was still in his uniform. He hugged me and chuckled. “Good to see you again.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Can’t say the same thing to you, Keith.” 

He watched me for a moment before he barked out laughing. I missed a moment like this. I missed the genuine laugh from the people around me. 

“I miss you too, son. Let me just bring this to Lily. Be right back.” He went to Hailey and kissed her head before going to the kitchen.

I wandered around their living room which I wasn’t able to do the last time I was here. I saw photo frames hanging on the wall just beside the stairs. The photo of Keith with some cops. Then the photo of the three of them with Hailey during graduation.

I remembered the photo I had with her that I still had in my room. I took a deep breath. Every time I remembered how happy we were that day. It even hurt like hell. 

I moved to the next one in a black frame. It was Hailey and a boy in her age. And they exactly looked like. My brows furrowed as I stared closely at the picture. A sudden knot formed in the pit of my stomach. 

In a split second, I was leaning against the wall. I felt my world just spun around me. What the fuck?

“Dinner’s ready!” Lilian’s voice from the kitchen startled me. 

My chest was still heaving with exertion when Keith patted my shoulder. 

“Come on, Percie. Let’s have dinner.” 

I wiped the beads of sweat on my forehead. 

“Okay.” That’s the only word I could come up with at this moment. Even my voice, I barely recognized it was my own. 

Tonight, Lillian served roasted beef, garlic roasted potatoes, Hellenic salad, and cornbread. I took a good portion of what was on the table. The smell alone made my mouth water. Lillian could cook. I gave her that.

“These are really delicious, Lillian. Thank you for having me again.” I shoved another slice of meat, and it melted in my mouth.

“I’m glad you like the dinner, Percie. How was your visit to your Grandpa?”

 I gulped down my water. “ It was good, thank you. I’m meeting Grandpa every Saturday since his house is only a forty-five-minute drive from my apartment.” 

“How about your parents, Percie?” Lillian asked. 

It was not our topic last week, so maybe this was the time to talk about it--it was long overdue. I swallowed hard. 

I glanced at Lillian and Keith, patiently waiting for my answer. “We’ve never talked since last year,” I replied honestly. “Grandpa is paying my tuition and my apartment. My job at the car shop didn’t pay much before my boss fired me.”

At the corner, Hailey remained silent, but I could feel that she was also listening.

“Sorry to hear about that, honey. I didn’t mean to pry.” She gave me an apologetic looked. 

“To sum it up, they disowned me. They have the right to, though, Lillian. I’ve done some horrible things. I’ve hurt people I cared about. That’s why I’m surprised that you people still welcomed me into your home and allow me to join your dinner.” 

The silence and waiting were nerve-wracking. 

I was waiting and looking for the judgment and horrific looked on their faces. Or maybe there was a grain of sympathy hinted in their eyes. But nobody had started to break the silence.

My food suddenly didn’t look appealing to me anymore. I didn’t know if I should stand up, leave, and never look back or laughed about it. All I could clearly hear was my own breathing from the silence until, finally, Keith cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, Percie. Whatever you did in the past, and whatever your parents decided for you, don’t let those things hold you back. Your failure should not redefine you. Make use of your time to prove to them that you are a better person than who you were from your past.” He patted my arm. 

I nodded. 

“Oh, honey. I know this is a delicate topic, but I want you to know that we’re here. You are not alone. I’m not judging you, Percie. No one. Whatever happened in the past, it’s in the past.”

“Thank you.” 

“Some feelings in your past will take over if you will allow yourself to dwell on it, like guilt. It may be hard, but you have to accept that it happened, and it happened for a reason,” Lillian added.

“So, I kind of checked your apartment building, and I like it. The neighborhood seemed safe. Keith and I are planning to rent an apartment for Hailey. We’re looking for a roommate to share with her. Do you know anyone?” 

I stopped chewing my food. I couldn’t believe it. Of all the apartments in this city or close to the campus, why she had to choose the building where I stayed? This was not good. With my mind already clouded with her image, how could I avoid her?

“Does she prefer a female or a male roommate?” Do I really have to ask? I stole a glance at Hailey. Our gazes met longer this time as if we were in a silent conversation. I saw something reflected in those eyes I wished I didn’t.

Now my curiosity kicked in. Who was the boy beside her? Where was he now? 

“At least a female, but I've already checked every occupant. They’re not looking for a roommate.” 

I took a huge breath. I would definitely regret this. “She can stay with me for a while until you can find someone looking for a female roommate.” 

Before I could take it back, Lillian and Keith were already grinning and gripping Hailey’s arms. 

What the fuck did I just do?