Never Again

Mike’s entire world tilted. He was imagining things. Killian couldn’t be there. He had thought he wasn't that drunk, maybe he had been wrong and had ... No, no. 

Mike thought. I am fine. 

Killian was there. He knew it because his wolf knew it too. 

His mate was standing there, across the street 

Mike sobered up instantly once he realized it. 

They were only a few meters apart, waiting for the other to make the first step. It was Killian who did it. Killian walked over to where Mike was standing and came to stand in front of him. 

“Killian, what…”

Mike began, but Killian interrupted him.

“This can’t happen. Never again.”

Mike nodded, confused. 

“Okay.”

“We shouldn’t be meeting, not like this. You are my bodyguard and that remains. But that's all. There can't be anythign else happening between us. I can’t come to your apartment or you to mine. “

Then Killian looked up at Mike.

“Never”.

His eyes were so dark, almost black in the night.

Some of the people in the bar were still smoking or drinking outside, laughing and telling drunken jokes. They were all out on the street, but all of that was just background noise, as if all those men and women there belonged somewhere else. Somewhere they couldn’t touch them and it was just him and Killian.

“Michael?”

Killian was watching him, expecting and Mike blinked against the rising threat of him losing control. 

He knew what Killian was saying. And it wasn’t like they had promised anything to each other. 

Then why was this feeling like a rejection.

Rejection 

Mike’s mind provided. 

His wolf stirred.

He is rejection you. 

He is not rejecting me," Michael thought, " he is not rejecting me, because he doesn’t know about the whole mate wolf thing, or anything. hat rejection are you even talking about" 

His hand closed in fists and in his mind, Mike was running in circles, but he shook his head to scatter the thoughts and said

“Okay, Killian. Never again.”

“Good.” 

Then Killian grabbed the lapels of Mike’s jacket and pulled him closer, Killian’s lips brushing Mike’s.

“Let’s go.”

Killian said and let go of Mike’s jacket, turning his back on him and heading down the street, not turning around.

***

A crash, followed by nother. Something, most likely a glass falling on the floor and crashing. Another rattle.

Mike’s back hit the wall and the door slammed shut somewhere behind him. 

They were fumbling with clothes, belts and jackets . Mike's jacket landed on the floor heavy and before he could put himself back together, Killian was all over him again. 

Killian pushed Mike harder against the wall and tore his T-shirt front.

It was dark, but Mike could see very well the messy, disheveled hair, Killian’s dilated pupils, he could hear his mate's heartbeat, syncing as if  with his own. 

"Wait, wat..." Mike said, his hands closing around Killian's shoulders to stop him. 

"Wait. " 

"What is it?"

Killian was frowning at him in the darkness. "No one has follwed us, right.  "

"No."

"Then why did you stop?"

Mike lifted a hand and his fingertips brushed Killian’s lips very lightly.

They were both breathing heavily, and Killian paused only for a second before he grabbed Mike again.

Killian kissed him hard, fingers digging in Michael’s shoulders almost painfully . Killian was kissing him, but at the same time it felt like he was fighting - with what, Mike couldn't tell. 

Mike broke the kiss and searched Killian’s eyes in the darkness.

The only light that was coming inside the room was from the street lamps, and the bars that were on the first floors of the buildings here. But even in this run down place, the fading yellowish light was dancing on Killian's face and he looked stunning, even here. 

“Hey. “ 

Mike whispered, running a hand over Killian’s face slightly. 

“We’re not fighting. “ 

Killian froze, confused. 

Then Mike leaned in and kissed him very, very slowly. Killian relaxed in the kiss too, and Mike smiled against his lips. 

“See?”

“What?”

“Isn’t it better this way?”

Killian flinched and it was as if something flipped inside him again. 

He began kissing him harder again, hands going for the button of Mike's jeans. Killian opened them and fell down to his knees. 

This time Mike glued himself to the wall by himself and watched Killian perplexed as his mate began opening his zipper.

"Wait, wait. " 

Mike placed his palms over Killian's beautiful hands and squeezed him lightly to stop him from continuing. 

"Don't you want to go somewhere more...." Mike's mind was buzzing, of all the things he had imagined and wanted with Killian, getting a blowjob in the hallaway was the last thing he wanted. Mike had never been a romantic, or anything, but this was Killian. He wasn't just going to do it here, it hd to be.. different. 

"Comfortable?" Mike said eventually, "do you want to go to the bedroom, or..."

"You don't like this?" Killian looked up at him, "Do you want to hit me?"

"Hit?...Why woud I ..."

"Isn't this how it works with guys?" 

Killian was still watching him, hands stilled underneath Mike's. 

"You don't want to show me you're stronger?"

Mike stopped. Dead in his tracks. 

Killian was asking him for real. It wasn't some role play. Killian was actually expecting Mike to say yes. 

Mike's heart clenched, sinking.

Then he had to close his eyes and take a very slow breath to stop himself from actually going and killing whoever showed Killian that he had to be hurt if he was going to be with someone.

Michael remembered the bruises he had seen on Killian's skin before. He had always thought Killian had liked it. 

But now seeing Killian, being here and looking so vulnerable, he realized Killian had just never known anything else. 

"Tell me I am a filthy..."

"No."

Mike said instantly, lowering himself so that he knelt next to Killian.

"Don't ever say that. " Mike leaned forward and kissed Killian's forehead, then his cheek.

"But this is what I am, I am..."

"You're so beautiful, "

Mike breathed against Killian's neck and felt his mate shiver. 

"You're the most beautiful person I've met, Killian," 

he continued, kissing Killian's neck.

Mike had been with many guys before, but he had rarely spoken to them much. Rarely had he been with someone more than once or twice, but he had never wanted to hurt any of them, even of some of them had been into those things.

He would do it, if they really asked for it, but nothing beyond a play. Ever. The thought of hurting Killian - that was a different matter. 

It was then and there Mike swore he was going to make Richard pay- before or after finishing this mission. Even if that meant killing him. 

Mike kissed Killian one last time and stood up. 

"Will you come with me?"

He said and smile.

"Where?"

Killian asked, but followed. 

"You'll see." Mike smiled and kissed him before they headed to the improvised bedroom in Mike's apartment.