LOGINThere's a little traffic getting on the bus, thanks to the crowds still dragging from the parade, but in fifteen minutes I'm walking into Cleo's compound, gift bag thumping gently against my leg.I remember the first time I came here. It was Cleo's birthday party, the night we pranked the boys and caused a whole light-out chain reaction that still gets brought up in the group chat. I think it was also the same night I caught Cortney with Riley again, after the whole car escapades. God, what a mess that was. They stopped seeing each other not long after, though I've never actually asked her why, since she has no idea I even know about any of it.I finally reach her front door, already a little tired. This is exactly why I need a car — if Cort had driven me, I'd have been here in five minutes instead of hauling myself across town on foot and bus transfers. But nobody knows I'm coming tonight, and honestly, I don't mind the effort. I genuinely love this part of the year. Handing out gift
It's been a few days since River and I spoke. Yes — the day he promised he'd call back and then just... didn't. I'm still furious about it, but I haven't reached out either. Why should I have to? I've given him every reason to lean on me, to actually use me as something other than a quick sex whenever he feels like it, and he's barely taken me up on any of it.So I'm done reaching out first. If he's ready, he knows exactly where to find me. He has my number.But today isn't about River. I'm not letting him ruin this one.It's the twenty-fourth. Christmas Eve is tonight.Every year, my neighborhood throws this whole festival that has to do with dancing, a small parade, kids singing carols about the nativity, vendors setting up little lit-up tents selling everything from hairpins to jewelry. Half the usual price for everything. This is a huge sale that comes only this period.From tomorrow, it goes back to the real price.I glance down at the row of gifts I've prepped for the occasion,
I stare at her as she keeps talking, barely hearing the words."Chancé, are you even listening?""Huh?" I snap back into focus, blinking. "Yeah. Sorry.""So — you're up for the trip?""Yeah. I'm up."She exhales slowly, eyeing me with open suspicion. "Okay, what is going on with you?""What do you mean?""The Chancé I know would've argued with me for ten minutes before finally caving. This is after I've laid out, like, six different reasons why this is a good idea, or just physically dragged you out the door. You didn't even give me the chance to use any of my prepared speeches."Yeah, about that. I want to spend as much time with Cort as I can before the breakup comes. I want to soak up every annoying, wonderful, over-the-top thing about her before she starts hating me completely. So whatever Cort wants right now, I'll give her."You don't have to convince me of anything. It's winter, Cort, and I want to be out of this house just as badly as you want to be out of yours. I want to hav
It's just another snowy day, and I've got a full plan ahead of me, finally cutting Cort's pictures, decorating the photo book from start to finish.After breakfast, Mave asks if I want to stick around and help decorate the house with everyone with lights going up, trees getting decorated with ornaments, the whole family thing. Dad already left for work early, missing breakfast entirely."No, actually — I'd love to, but I've got something important to take care of.""Okay. Go handle your important matters." Mave does the air quotes. "We'll just be here, doing all this. You know."I nod slowly and head for the stairs without another word. Once I'm back in my room, I grab the photo book off my desk and lay out all my supplies. The glue, scissors, Cort’s photos.I sink down onto the floor, connect my phone to the mini speaker, and let "Sue Me" play while I start cutting the pictures into rectangular strips. The first one I glue down is from pottery class, the day Cortney and I actually be
I call Cleo to ask for help figuring out what to get Cortney.I've spent the entire evening knitting, and I'm nearly finished with the scarf when it suddenly hits me. Cleo is exactly the kind of person who'd have a good idea for this.She picked up on the first ring, buzzing with excitement already."What about a picture book?""A picture book?" I pull the phone away from my ear for a second, completely thrown. "What?""Yeah, think about it. It's thoughtful. You print out pictures, write the date or memories under each one. It’s basically building a little timeline of memories instead of just buying something off a shelf. You can throw in the funny ones, the cringey ones, whatever. It's really about showing her how much you appreciate her, telling her what kind of friend she's actually been to you. Mix in photos of the two of you together. Since you said she can afford anything literally, this feels like the move.""Yeah, she can.""Then go with this one. I'd bet nobody's ever given h
I've spent hours researching the best gifts for Cortney's birthday. But everything I find is either outrageously expensive or just doesn't make sense for her.Cortney dropped me off three hours ago, and I've been holed up in my room ever since, hiding from my niece and nephew so they don't come barreling in and derail my focus. And three hours later, I still haven't caught up on anything for my best friend. I glance toward the window, watching snow drift down. It’s not heavy, just soft against the glass.It's starting to get dark out. My eyes drift to the closet, catching on the cream cotton-and-cashmere-blend coat hanging there.When I got home and Mom saw it on me, I told her Cort bought it. That’s true enough, but I conveniently left out the actual price tag. I know exactly how that conversation would've gone: "You need to take that back and get something more reasonable. Keep the change." But I want this coat. Sometimes you need one luxurious thing in your closet. I have a lot of
Ricky loves attention. No—he is attention.There’s something about him. An aura that pulls people in without effort. Everywhere he goes, people notice him. He’s the complete opposite of me.Bright. Dirty blond hair. Always laughing. Always surrounded by people—especially girls. He feeds off it. Liv
***~~~ RIVER~~~***I notice her. I’ve always noticed her, and Chan has always been… naive. Quiet. Too soft for someone like me.I’ve been watching her for four years. Even before all these forbidden escapades. Before the lake. Before she saved my life.My jaw tightens slightly at the memory. If s
I feel used. Completely used. That’s been the way I’ve felt since the first time River came into my room. He didn’t even acknowledge it before he just took what he wanted.There was one thing I thought would change. I thought if I let him have my body, my virginity, he would like me back, but I gue
I toss and turn until I finally stop. With my hand on my stomach, I stare at the ceiling, letting out a long breath. Cortney dropped me home thirty minutes ago, and River hasn’t shown up yet.Maybe it is for the best.I sigh, running my hand through my hair.What exactly am I doing? I know he will







