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Carter: Don't Wanna Go Home
“I was put into Brook Haven for a month,” I said.
The local psych ward. I mean, it made sense, since she tried to commit suicide. But I can’t imagine Ryan there. The people there have a reputation for being walking zombies. I can’t imagine this smart, funny, vibrant, beautiful girl stuck there..
“It was...hell. There was no privacy, no autonomy, no...control. Funny how the cure to my losing control of my body is for them to take control of my body.” She gives a mirthless laugh.
Ryan sits up and I let her
Kaugnay na kabanata
Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Pet Names
Wednesday passed pretty uneventfully considering all of the shit that went down yesterday. I walked Ryan to homeroom, sat next to her in Band, ate with her and all of our friends in the lunchroom, and kissed her before she left for her appointments. She promised to call me after her session and I had several hours to kill before I talked to her. I went home and saw Mom was already there. She was a substitute teacher, so she was often home when I got back from school. “Hey, Mom!” I called when I walked in the side door and kicked off my shoes. “Hey, Carter. In the kitchen,”
Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Dating
Things settled into a routine pretty quickly after that. I drove Ryan to and from school, except for on days she had lessons or therapy. We hung out with our friends most days after school. They were getting surprisingly close. Funnily enough, once the ice melted between Patrick and Ayo, they found out they had a lot in common. It was...weird to see. And, of course, I kept my promise to Mr. and Mrs. Miller. At least once per week (though it tended to be a lot more), I stayed over and either ate dinner or watched TV with the family. It was actually fun after the initial hesitation on her parents’ part. Jake was a pretty cool kid, too. He would get along with my little brother. They even agreed to come to the cookout.
Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Odd One Out
The girls pay for their stuff and we leave the store. “Wait, where are Lucy and Jaime?” Ayo says, looking around. “Oh, with Patrick’s 50 meter dash to the bathroom, I forgot to tell you guys,” I laugh. “Jaime and Lucy said that they were going to go check out what movies were playing.” Jess and Ryan give each other a look and smile. “Looks like we’ve got two new couples in the group,” Ryan says. “Two? Wait, you mean…” I say, a little dumbfounded. I look between Ryan and Jess. Then I grin. “It’s about damn time that Jaime found someone!”
Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Cook Out
Mom, Dad, Jake, and I walk to Carter’s back gate. Carter sees us and calls to his parents. “Mom! Dad! Ryan and her folks are here.” Carter opens the gate. “Hey guys, come on in.” He high-fives Jake, shakes Dad’s hand, takes the dish from Mom (brownies, yum!), and pulls me in for a kiss. Before pulling away, Carter whispers in my ear, “Are you wearing the bikini?” I smile. “Got it in my bag.” He closes his eyes, “*Damn*!” He grabs my hand, leading me into the backyard.
Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Amor
Music continues to play as we eat, switching from modern songs to songs that are from my parents’ teenage years. Amazingly, Ryan knows them all. She sings along to Midnight Train to Georgia, Celebration, and ABC with her parents and mine. The highlight of the impromptu sing-along happens when she and my father sing the Devil Went Down to Georgia, playing air fiddle with the music. Ryan fits in seamlessly with my family and even Lucas seems to enjoy her extensive video game knowledge (he and Jake came out after a while to scavenge for food before heading back in).
Dissonance and Harmony Flashback: Prosecutor
My parents and I are escorted into the district attorney’s office. His name is Mr. Shift. He stands from his seat and he looks different from what I expected. In my mother’s and my favorite TV show, SVU (well, was my favorite TV show until...that night) the district attorneys are always imposing, sharp-looking men. Mr. Shift looks nothing like that. He’s short, not much taller than me. He has a rather round face and is balding, though he seems quite young. He isn’t wearing a tie and his top shirt button is open. He looks more like a substitute kindergarten teacher than a lawyer. Quickly buttoning his top button, Mr. Shift comes around his desk and extends his hand to my parents. After greeting them, he turns to me and extends his hand. I immediately flinch away.
Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Relapse
I had another episode while in my room last night. It was about the first time that I met Mr. Shift. I nearly killed myself trying to run away from the pain that Tommy had put me in. The worst part was that I was nearly asleep when it happened and I wasn’t able to convince myself that it wasn’t real. Jake heard me screaming and ran into my room. I hit him! Thinking it was Tommy coming for me, I reached out and hit Jake. I screamed and clawed and kicked and hit with all my might. My parents came in to see Jake’s face and arms bleeding as he tried to hold me down so that I didn’t hurt myself. When I realized what I’d done, I fall apart. My Jake. My sweet, loving Jake. The one who found me when I tried to kill myself.
Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Calm Before the Storm
I woke up twice during the night, nearly in a panic, until I realized that I was in my room and it was Carter who was holding me. Luckily, someone had left a light on, so I was able to orient myself quickly. Both times, I snuggled back into Carter’s chest and felt his arms tighten around me. Once, he even brushed a kiss over the crown of my head in his sleep. It made me smile, knowing that even in the depths of unconsciousness, he still protected me. When I woke for good, I looked up and saw Carter smiling down at me. “How’d you sleep?” he asked. “Great, thanks to you,” I smile back. “What about you?”
Pinakabagong kabanata
- Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Epilogue
- Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Just Us
- Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Hate at the Surface
- Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Detriment to Society
- Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Arguments
- Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Show Time
- Dissonance and Harmony Ryan: Last Minute Pep Talk
- Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Morning Of
- Dissonance and Harmony Carter: Coda
