Chapter 2: Under the Same Roof

May mga taong kapag unang beses mong nakilala, alam mong magiging parte sila ng buhay mo.

Hindi ko alam kung ganoon si Ronan.

Ang alam ko lang, dalawang araw pa lang akong nakatira sa Blackwood mansion pero parang napakarami ko nang gustong itanong tungkol sa kanya.

At ang pinakaayaw kong aminin?

Curious ako.

Hindi dahil gusto ko siya.

At lalong hindi dahil may espesyal akong nararamdaman para sa kanya.

Curious lang.

That's all.

At least, iyon ang paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko.

"Good morning."

Napalingon ako.

Nasa dining table si Ronan.

Naka-white shirt siya at may hawak na kape habang nagbabasa ng kung ano sa tablet niya.

"Morning."

Umupo ako sa kabilang side ng table.

Wala akong balak kausapin siya.

Pero parang may sariling utak ang bibig ko.

"Do you always wake up this early?"

Hindi siya agad sumagot.

"Usually."

"Seven in the morning is early?"

"For some people."

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Okay."

Silence.

I reached for the toast.

He took the coffee.

Tahimik.

Awkward.

"You're staring."

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I was looking at the table."

"Interesting table."

Napairap ako.

"You really think you're funny, don't you?"

"No."

"Good."

He took another sip of his coffee.

"You're funny enough for both of us."

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Was that a compliment?"

"Maybe."

Napangiti ako bago ko pa napigilan ang sarili ko.

At nang mapansin kong nakatingin siya sa akin, agad akong nagseryoso.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He went back to his tablet.

Pero hindi ko maiwasang mapansin ang bahagyang pagtaas ng gilid ng labi niya.

First time kong nakita siyang halos ngumiti.

At hindi ko alam kung bakit iyon ang naalala ko buong umaga.

"You're going out?"

Nasa hallway ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Ronan.

Napalingon ako.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Coffee shop."

"With who?"

Napakunot-noo ako.

"Why?"

He shrugged.

"Just asking."

"Nadia."

Tumango siya.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

I was about to walk away when he spoke again.

"What time will you be back?"

Napalingon ako.

"Why?"

"Mom's having dinner tonight."

"Okay."

"So?"

"So what?"

"What time?"

Napabuntong-hininga ako.

"Probably around seven."

He nodded.

"Fine."

"Why are you acting like my father?"

"I'm not."

"Then stop interrogating me."

"I asked two questions."

"Exactly."

Napangiti siya nang kaunti.

"You're dramatic."

"And you're annoying."

"Have fun."

Tumalikod ako.

"Thanks."

Pero habang naglalakad ako papunta sa p***o, narinig ko pa siyang nagsalita.

"Don't stay out too late."

Hindi na ako lumingon.

Pero ngumiti ako.

I don't know why.

"Okay, spill."

Napatingin ako kay Nadia.

"Spill what?"

"Your stepbrother."

Napatawa ako.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

She leaned forward.

"Is he as intimidating as you said?"

"He's annoying."

"That's not an answer."

"He is."

"Is he handsome?"

Napahinto ako.

Why was that even a difficult question?

"He's… okay."

Nadia stared at me.

"Okay?"

"Yes."

"Girl."

"What?"

"You're terrible at lying."

Napailing ako.

"He's handsome. Happy?"

She grinned.

"Very."

I rolled my eyes.

"But I don't care."

"Sure."

"I don't."

"Okay."

"Nadia."

"Okay!"

Tumawa siya.

"Fine. I believe you."

I knew she didn't.

Pero hindi ko rin siya masisisi.

Ronan was objectively attractive.

Hindi naman ako bulag.

Tall.

Sharp features.

Quiet eyes.

At may aura siyang parang kahit hindi siya magsalita, mapapansin mo pa rin siya.

Pero attraction wasn't the same as feelings.

At wala akong nararamdaman.

Nothing.

Pagkatapos naming magkape, dumaan muna kami sa isang bookstore.

Matagal ko nang gustong bumili ng bagong libro kaya halos isang oras kaming naglibot.

Nang palabas na kami, nakita ko ang isang pamilyar na mukha.

"Eve?"

Napalingon ako.

"Julian?"

Ngumiti siya.

"Wow. It's been a while."

Si Julian Hale.

We used to work on a few university projects together.

Friendly.

Easy to talk to.

At hindi complicated.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

"Buying books."

"Still a bookworm?"

"Always."

Tumawa siya.

"Good to see you again."

"You too."

Nagpatuloy ang usapan namin.

Hindi ko napansin kung gaano katagal.

Hanggang sa may humintong sasakyan sa tapat ng bookstore.

Black.

Familiar.

Napatingin ako.

Bumukas ang p***o.

Ronan.

Bumaba siya at agad na naglakad papunta sa amin.

Napakunot-noo ako.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

"I was nearby."

"Right."

Napatingin siya kay Julian.

Tahimik.

"Ronan," sabi ko, "this is Julian. We used to work together."

Tumango si Julian.

"Nice to meet you."

Ronan looked at him.

"Likewise."

Pero walang warmth sa boses niya.

Julian smiled awkwardly.

"So you're Eve's—"

"Stepbrother."

Mabilis ang sagot ni Ronan.

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang may diin ang pagkakasabi niya.

"Right."

Tumango si Julian.

"Nice."

Tahimik ulit.

I cleared my throat.

"Ronan, you didn't have to come."

"I know."

"Then why did you?"

"I told you. I was nearby."

Julian looked between us.

"Actually, I should go."

"Already?"

"Yeah. I have somewhere to be."

Nagpaalam kami.

Nang makaalis si Julian, tumingin ako kay Ronan.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"You're acting weird."

"I'm not."

"You were."

He opened the car door.

"Get in."

"I can go home by myself."

"I know."

"Then—"

"Get in, Eve."

Napairap ako.

"Fine."

Sumakay ako.

Tahimik ang buong biyahe.

Too quiet.

I looked out the window.

After a few minutes, hindi ko na napigilan.

"Do you dislike Julian?"

"No."

"You looked like you did."

"I don't know him."

"Exactly."

"Exactly what?"

"You don't know him, so why were you acting like that?"

"Like what?"

"Cold."

"I'm always cold."

"Not like that."

He glanced at me.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know."

"Then don't ask."

Napabuntong-hininga ako.

"You're impossible."

"You're nosy."

"Because you make no sense."

He didn't respond.

I looked back outside.

A few seconds later, he spoke.

"Do you like him?"

Napalingon ako.

"Julian?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Just answer."

I stared at him.

"He's my friend."

"That's not what I asked."

"Then what are you asking?"

His jaw tightened.

"Do you like him?"

I didn't know why the question irritated me.

"Maybe."

He looked at me.

"Maybe?"

"Why?"

He looked away.

"Nothing."

I crossed my arms.

"You're weird."

"So you've said."

"Are you jealous?"

He laughed.

But there was no humor in it.

"Of him?"

"Yes."

"Why would I be?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know. You tell me."

He went silent.

And that silence felt like an answer.

Pagdating namin sa mansion, nauna akong bumaba.

I was about to walk inside when I heard him.

"Eve."

I stopped.

"What?"

He remained beside the car.

"Don't encourage him."

"Excuse me?"

"Julian."

Napakunot-noo ako.

"He's my friend."

"I know."

"Then what's the problem?"

"There isn't one."

"Then stop acting like there is."

He stared at me.

"Fine."

Tumalikod ako.

"Eve."

I stopped again.

"What now?"

His expression softened for a second.

"Just be careful."

"With what?"

"People."

Napatawa ako nang mahina.

"You're paranoid."

"Maybe."

I walked inside.

Hindi ko na siya pinansin.

Pero habang umaakyat ako sa hagdan, hindi ko mapigilang maalala ang tanong niya.

Do you like him?

Bakit niya kailangang malaman?

Bakit parang mahalaga sa kanya?

At bakit sa lahat ng tanong na puwede niyang itanong sa akin—

iyon ang pinili niya?

That evening, dinner was surprisingly quiet.

Si Mama at Gideon ang halos buong oras na nag-uusap.

Si Ronan, tahimik.

Ako rin.

Hanggang sa biglang nagsalita si Mama.

"Eve, did you have fun with Nadia?"

"Yeah."

"Did you go anywhere else?"

"Bookstore."

"With Nadia?"

"Yes."

Napatingin ako kay Ronan.

He was eating quietly.

Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong naging conscious.

Then Gideon spoke.

"Ronan, you picked her up?"

Tumango siya.

"Yeah."

"You didn't have to."

"I know."

"Still, thank you."

I looked down.

"Thanks."

Ronan didn't look at me.

"It's fine."

Tahimik ulit.

Until Gideon suddenly smiled.

"I'm glad you're both getting along."

Napatingin ako kay Ronan.

He looked at me.

Neither of us said anything.

Getting along?

I wasn't sure that was the right word.

Because something about us felt strange.

We argued.

We annoyed each other.

We questioned each other.

And yet…

I was starting to look for him when he wasn't around.

That realization made me uncomfortable.

So I pushed it away.

Late that night, bumaba ako para kumuha ng tubig.

Pagdating ko sa kitchen, nakita ko si Ronan.

Again.

"Seriously?"

He looked at me.

"What?"

"Why are you always here?"

"I live here."

"Right."

I opened the refrigerator.

"You drink too much coffee."

He looked at his cup.

"Probably."

"Not healthy."

"Since when do you care?"

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

"I don't."

"Good."

I rolled my eyes.

I grabbed the water bottle and turned around.

But before I could leave, he spoke.

"Eve."

"What?"

"About earlier."

"Julian?"

"Yeah."

I sighed.

"What about him?"

"Nothing."

"Then why bring it up?"

He stared at me for a few seconds.

Then he said quietly—

"I don't like seeing you with him."

My fingers tightened around the bottle.

"Why?"

He didn't answer.

"Ronan."

He looked away.

"I just don't."

"That's not a reason."

"I know."

Tahimik kami.

I didn't know what to say.

He finally looked at me.

"You don't have to understand."

"Then don't make me wonder."

His expression changed.

For a moment, parang may gusto siyang sabihin.

Something important.

But he didn't.

Instead, he stepped aside.

"Goodnight."

I walked past him.

"Goodnight."

Pero bago ako tuluyang makaalis, narinig ko ang mahina niyang boses.

"You're going to get me in trouble."

Napahinto ako.

I turned around.

"What?"

He was already looking away.

"Nothing."

I stared at him for a moment.

Then I walked upstairs.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin.

Pero sa gabing iyon, habang nakahiga ako sa kama, hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang sinabi niya.

You're going to get me in trouble.

At sa unang pagkakataon, naisip ko—

baka hindi lang ako ang nakakapansin sa kakaibang tension sa pagitan namin.

Baka siya rin.

At iyon ang pinakanakakatakot.

Dahil kung pareho naming napapansin…

hanggang saan lang namin kayang magpanggap na wala itong ibig sabihin?