Chapter 8

After the wonderful moment Connor and I shared, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I sat on the mattress on the floor with my phone lying before me, anxiously waiting for his call.

It was suppertime, and still he hadn't called me yet.

"Amara, it's time to eat!" my aunt yelled upstairs.

"No phone at the table," Aunt said as she saw me with the phone entering the dining room, and I wished I'd worn clothes with pockets.

"I'm waiting on an important call. Can't I just keep the phone here, just for today?" I begged.

"Okay," she agreed.

As I took a bite of my meal, mac and cheese with barbecue chicken and sweet corn, my aunt asked, "When am I going to meet my niece's first boyfriend?"

I froze at her question, realizing she knew I wasn't alone in my room. I was also surprised that I didn't freak out and drop the fork from my hand or accidentally turn over the plate.

I'm that clumsy.

However, I maintain my composure in response to her query.

"Soon," I said, smiling.

"Your father was your mom's first love; I hope he isn't the same as him."

"He, too, could have been your mom's only, but he ended up breaking her heart," she went on to say sadly.

"You mean me," I interrupted.

"Don't ever believe it's your fault," Aunt swiftly touched my shoulder.

I lowered my head.

"Does my sister make you feel as if it's your fault why your dad leaves her?" she asked.

Aunt didn't know about the distant relationship between Mom and me, though we dwell in the same house. Not wanting to ruin the only good relationship Mom had in her life with her sister, I chose not to tell her.

"No, but probably if I were what he wanted, he'd still be here," I said instead as my eyes raised towards her with tears.

"Don't ever think that, sweetie. You just know your father is a foolish man for missing out on such a special person like you."

More tears came down her face as I nodded.

"Just be careful and try not to be blinded by love as your mom did with your father, or you'll end up getting hurt," she warned.

Connor is different, I thought as I wiped away my tears. He'd never hurt me.

Barely touching my meal, I returned upstairs and sat back in the same posture as before my aunt called me down for dinner, sitting on the bed with my phone before me.

It was almost midnight, Connor still hadn't called, and I wished I'd gotten his number. I could have called him instead of eagerly waiting for his phone call.

Perhaps he's busy and will call me first thing tomorrow.

I jumped up on Sunday morning, checking my phone to see if I'd missed his call after falling asleep. There was none, nor did he call me that day.

First thing on Monday morning, I waited by the school entrance steps for him. He showed up with his cousin and triplet as usual. I smiled at him as his attention crossed my way while he was walking along with his family. I'm surprised when he looks away as if he doesn't see me.

I wanted to feel bad about his action, but I assumed he was pretending as if he didn't see me because it was forbidden for our kind to be together, and I cursed myself for almost getting him in trouble.

The entire day at school, I kept looking for a way to approach him when he was alone, but Kara was always with him and his brothers. Finally, he was alone by his locker in the hallway, and no one was there except for us.

I thought he'd be happy when he glanced at me coming, but he returned to removing something from his locker.

"You didn't call. I waited a day and 12 hours for you to call," I said to his back.

"Why should I call you?" He turned to face me, his expression grim.

And at that moment, I wondered if I was talking to one of his twins that I didn't know about.

But it was him, I was certain it was, for I felt my love for him swirling in my heart, like the snow in a snow globe. A love that is only meant for him.

"We're alone; you don't need to pretend anymore," I said, wiping the sadness from my face with a smile.

I thought he'd drop the act of pretending to be rude to me. But when he held my sweater sleeve and pulled me into an empty classroom, I realized that his action wasn't pretend at all, and he was being serious.

Having me backed against a wall, he said promptly, holding his head away from me. "Forget what had happened between us. I lied that I had feelings for you. I can never love a human."

"The poem you wrote, you said it was about me and that you love me," Confused by his action, I responded.

"I said it's a stupid mistake." He angrily punched the wall, causing the classroom to shake, and I shut my eyes for a second, scared, before reopening them.

I looked back at the hole he'd made in the wall and back at him. His eyes were closed, and his teeth tightened as if he were fighting some demon inside who was trying to take control of him.

"You don't mean it," I cried, watching him.

His confession of his love for me felt real; it couldn't have been a lie. I saw it in his eyes and the way they lit up.

He started to walk away.

"Is it because of the incident that happened to my hand that you are changing your mind about us?" I asked, starting to believe it was the cause.

Within a flash, he returned to holding me by both of my shoulders, and my heart skipped a beat, terrifyingly.

"Are you so stupid as to realize when you're not wanted?" He said, staring into my eyes, furious, and his eyes started to glow in his wolf form.

"Yes," I say with more tears pouring down my cheeks.

His eyes widened and returned to their usual blackness, shocked at my response.

"I live with a mother who doesn't love me or want me, and the one person who made me feel wanted and loved, I don't want to forget that feeling if it didn't matter to him," I smiled through my tears.

He quickly spun around, heading for the door.

"Look me in the eyes this time and tell me that you lied about feeling the same way for me." I stopped him as his hand touched the doorknob.

For a while, he stood there. He then angrily went through the door, leaving me alone in the classroom.

I cried.

****

At the end of school, I stood outside watching him as he headed to his bike with his family. Though he wanted nothing to do with me, it was difficult to let him go.

Arriving home, I went into my room to see my mattress no longer lying on the floor but on top of a new bed base.

I thought it was my aunt who found out and got me a new one until I found a note protruding under the pillow.

It was from Connor. Forget I ever existed; it's better for both of us, he wrote.

But how can I ignore the only light in my very dark world?