Dying to Love You

SAMANTHA~The polyester graduation gown felt like sandpaper against my skin as I shifted uncomfortably behind the podium. My chest tightened, the familiar herald of an oncoming cough, but I swallowed it down. Not now. Not during my valedictorian speech. "As we stand at the threshold of our futures," I continued, scanning the crowd of my classmates, their faces a blur of anticipation and boredom, "we carry with us not just the knowledge imparted by our teachers, but the memories we've created together." My gaze found Rafael in the third row, his dark eyes meeting mine with that familiar sardonic lift of his eyebrow. Even in the shapeless graduation gown, he managed to look dangerous, all sharp angles and barely contained energy. His mortarboard sat crookedly on his mess of black hair, like he'd thrown it on as an afterthought. Which he probably had. I'd had to practically drag him to the ceremony. "It's just a piece of paper Sunny," he'd said, using the nickname only he was allow

"A project," I said, my fingers tracing the edges of the cover. "Kind of a...uhm... bucket list.""A bucket list?" He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't those for old people facing mortality?"I flinched slightly at his choice of words but covered it with a shrug. "Or for people who want to really live before college bogs them down with responsibility.""Since when do you shirk responsibility?" he asked incredulously."Maybe I want to be more like you for once," I replied. "Live a little dangerously."He studied me for a long moment, his dark eyes intense. "So....what exactly brought this on?"I'd prepared for this question, crafted the perfect half-truth. "I've spent my whole life playing it safe, Raf. Getting perfect grades, following rules, being the good girl everyone expects. I'm tired of watching life from the sidelines." I took a breath that caught painfully in my chest. "I want to do things that scare me. That make me feel alive."What I didn't say: I want to truly live before I die.

My heart hammered as I forced myself to meet his eyes. "Not yet," I lied. "But I'll let you know when applications open."He laughed, the moment of tension breaking. "Fair enough. Though I feel obligated as your best friend to vet any potential deflowerers.""God, you're awful," I groaned, throwing a pillow at him.He caught it easily. "Just doing my duty." His expression softened. "Seriously though, Sam. Be careful with that one. Make sure it's someone who deserves you."The tenderness in his voice made my chest ache with more than just illness. "I will," I promised quietly.We spent the next hour plotting logistics, with Rafael suggesting we document our adventures with photos. "Evidence for posterity," he insisted."Or evidence for my sister to use at my murder trial," I countered.By the time he left—roaring away on Persephone with a promise to text me details about our first adventure—I felt a strange mix of excitement and melancholy. I'd set things in motion that couldn't be und

"You're going to freeze your ass off," Rafael said as Persephone rumbled down the empty country road. The moon hung heavy and full above us, illuminating the landscape in silver light that made everything look slightly unreal. "Whose idea was it to do this in June?" I shouted against the wind, my arms tight around his waist. Even through his leather jacket, I could feel the warmth of him, a stark contrast to the cool night air whipping past us. "Yours" he called back, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Item number two on the famous bucket list; go skinny dipping." My stomach flipped with a mixture of excitement and terror. After two days of planning and waiting for the perfect night, we were actually doing this , the first real item on my list. "There's still time to chicken out," Rafael added as we turned onto a narrow dirt road barely visible among the trees. "Not a chance Shade." I replied, tightening my grip on him. "I'm committed." He laughed, the sound vi

I considered the question seriously. Despite the cold, despite the lingering tightness in my chest, I felt...lighter. As if I'd shed something more than just my clothes at the lake's edge. "It feels like freedom," I said finally.He smiled, a genuine smile that reached his eyes. "Good. That's the whole point, right?"On the ride home, I pressed myself against his back more tightly than necessary, partly for warmth, partly because I couldn't resist the solid reality of him. We'd crossed some invisible line tonight, stepping into new territory neither of us quite knew how to navigat.Rafael pulled up half a block from my house, our usual system to avoid waking May with Persephone's engine. "Want me to walk you to the door?" he asked as I dismounted."I'm okay," I assured him, reluctantly returning his jacket. "...thanks for tonight. For doing this with me.""Anytime Sunny," he said softly. "Get some sleep. You'll need your energy for item three."I nodded, backing away. "Night Shade."