This is a revised chapter!
Kabanata 7/revised Sleep didn't come in my way. I'm just stagged in front of the ceiling counting sheep inside my head, hoping that my eyes would close and sleep would come. Buong araw akong nasa-opisina. I'm tired but the thoughts inside my head are overwhelming that rest seems so vague to happen tonight. Seems like this night is one of the many sleepless nights I need to deal with again. My thoughts are far, turbulent and I don't know. I can't explain what I am really feeling. I feel like my head is going to explode. My heart is getting numb and I just want to close my eyes, forget everything. The pain, the sadness and that grief of having someone yet you don't know them at all. Nandidito pa si Miguel pero pakiramdam ko ang layo-layo na n'ya sa'kin. His love, it became so uncertain. His promises seem forgotten and I am alone in this house where I once called home. Pero ngayon, hindi na ito tahanan, pansamantala na lang itong silungan because the person who I used to share bed wi
KABANATA 8 The sky is luminous because of the sun that turning into a beautiful sunrise again. Pa-usbong na ang araw ng makarating ako sa Cebu. Typically, the ride from negros to Cebu won't take me within a day pero I rode a craft by 1 am at ngayon ay tanaw na tanaw ko na ang nagtataasang building ng Cebu. The bus stop in Cebu south terminal and I immediately find a taxi para ihatid ako sa medical hospital. Pagod at gusto kung matulog pero sobra akong nag-alala para kay Miguel. I didn't contact my brother dahil naka-off ang cellphone nito and I'm sure he's doing it because he doesn't want me bombarding his entire vacation. Nakarating ako sa ospital at nakikita ko ngayon kung gaano ito katahimik, it's like a tranquil place you're willing to rest but inside it is really a heavy war. I really didn't like hospitals, it reminds me of sickness and deaths. Sumalubong sa'kin ang amoy ng iba't-ibang gamot sa loob ng ospital. Karen already texted me what room Miguel is staying. Pwede na
KABANATA 9 His hugs are my tranquility. Ang rupok mo talaga Clea at ngayon lunod na lunod ka na naman sa yakap ng asawa mo. How can I possibly stop liking and loving the warmth of him? The pain that I nurtured eventually vanish like a bubble into air at ngayon gustong-gusto ko na muli ang yakap at mumunting halik niyang binibigay sa buhok ko. "Let's eat. Hmm?" Bumalik ang tingin niya sa mga mata ko at ngumiti. His blue mesmerizing eyes, pointed nose, thick brows and his shaped face with his chiseled jaw are one of the many reasons why I can't seem to swim back because everytime I stare at his hues eyes made me drown even more. His ocean like eyes are my greatest weakness. Isang titig niya lang nakikita ko na naman ang sarili kung mas minamahal ang asul na karagatan kahit gaano kalakas ang mga alon at hindi ko alam kung saan ako tatangayin nito. Hinalikan niya muli ako at ngumiti. "Let's eat at ng maka-alis na tayo sa ospital na ito." We eat in silence but by how calm our bre
Kabanata 9.1 Papasok na sana kami sa hotel ng makasalubong ko ang kapatid. He give me his enrage stare as he see me holding Miguel's shoulder tightly. Inirapan ko lang sana siya ng tawagin niya ako. "Caprice." I rolled my eyes before averting my gaze back at him. "Let's talk." He lazily stared back as his hands were sulking inside his jeans' pocket. I look back at Miguel as he is also staring at us. He gives me encouraging nods before smiling. "Go. I'm waiting in our room." I let go of his shoulder as he kissed me before ruffling my hair, making me grunt in annoyance. I give him my annoyed look as my brother is scowling feet away from us. Mag-intay siya d'yan! Huwag siyang atat a! "Don't you dare go out in our room, Miguel. Kapag talaga ikaw wala sa room natin pagbalik ko, malilintikan ka talaga sa'kin." I give him my warning stare. Muli niyang ginulo ang buhok ko bago tumango ng nakangiti. He averted his gaze away from me and bore it into my brother's side as he give him
Kabanata 9.2 Naiinis ako kay Cleo. Ang dami-dami niyang alam! Hindi ko naman siya tinatanong! I hate it when he knew things, the truth and sometimes I really hate how the truth affect me. Iniwan ko siya sa labas at mabilis na naglakad papasok ng hotel. Nawala tuloy ako sa mood. I walk through our room frustrated and hurt. My brother just ruined my night! He's really capable of ruining things! Gad. Pumasok ako sa kwarto, bewildered as to why it is not locked inside. Miguel doesn't want our door open, it might be in the house or any other rooms we are staying in. Someone could have entered without any of us knowing kaya nagtataka akong pumasok sa loob. I'm sure Miguel is inside because I see his sleeper on the side of the doorway. Naiiling kung pinuntahan ang kwartong tinutulugan namin pero ni ano ng asawa ko ay wala naman. The bed doesn't even ruffled, someone hasn't mess it up with yet. Hindi pa nagulo ang mga unan and I know hindi pa napunta si Miguel rito. My heart is palpitati
KABANATA 10 Sitting in the kitchen's sink as my thoughts are clouded in dark abyss with a mug of coffee in my right hand. Masakit pa rin pala kahit paulit-ulit nalang ang senaryo. Pain after pain. Betrayal after betrayal. Unending pain. "Okay ka lang, babe?" Nakita ko siyang bumababa sa hagdan at may nag-aalalang mukha. I shook my head and smile. Okay lang naman kasi dapat. Sanayan nalang kasi ang sakit. "I-I'm okay Van, thanks." I said hesitantly as I jump in the sink and stand vigorously but failed when my vision started to blur. Wanting not to worry Van, I shake my head abruptly and smile again. I didnt want to worry the guy moreover, galing pa itong Maynila at nabasa din ng ulan ng dahil sa'kin. "You need to rest yourself, Clea. Ako na'ng bahala dito, magpahinga ka muna kaya sa kwarto? You really look pale, mi amoré." Natatarantang niyang sabi sa'kin ng makita niya hinihilot ko ang sariling sintido. Lumapit agad ito sa'kin and massaged my head gently. How I wish
KABANATA 11 Days passed like a blur, but my heart.. it is still breaking day by day, slowly. The happiness has long gone, forgotten as loneliness visit me again. I look at the sultry ocean as the strokes of the waves touch my feet soothingly. The ocean is still blue, just like my feelings, I'm in a deep shit blue. Funny as how my favorite color and feelings differ. I hug my shoulder firmly as the sun burn my entire body, a brand new day to get hurt. Again and again. I'm Cleopatra Montaverde a graduate in law, beautiful but broke at isang asawa na paulit-ulit lang namang niloloko at ginagawang tanga harap-harapan. I don't want to pity for the things that already happened at kahit lumuhod at umiyak pa ako ng dugo sa harapan ni Miguel ay kailanman hindi niya ako mamahalin katulad ng dati. If only I saw how things would go in our marriage life I hope I'm ready to face traversity in our lives, masakit iyong ikaw ang pinangakuan ng habang-buhay na pagmamahal ngunit sakit lang naman ang
Kabanata 12/revised "Finally we were able to get back to night life!" Masayang umiindak si Karen papasok sa bar. I see lot of cars in the parking area and I'm sure punong-puno na naman ang loob. "Ang daming tao." I commented when we finally entered the hall. "I'm sure na-miss mo ito. I'm happy na magkasama na ulit tayong magwalwal, Clea!" Natatawa niyang wika na parang lasing. Lasing ba siya? Kararating lang namin, a? Tapos siya parang ilang bote na ang natunga dahil sa kan'yang kilos! "Para kang lasing, Ren." I shook my head. Mabilis niya naman akong hinila papunta sa bar counter kaya nagpatangay nalang ako. Muntikan pa akong matalisod dahil sa mga taong nababanga namin. My friend is getting wild despite not having her drink yet. Parang baliw! "Cheers for your freedom! For a little while." Malakas niyang halakhak at kahit malakas ang tugtog rinig na rinig ko pa rin dahil sa laki ng tawa n'ya. I abruptly drink the tequila na ramdam kung tumagos ang lasa nito sa lalamunan