My eyes widened, almost taking over my entire face as I paddled and kicked the air.My hand brushed against a Freia and my vocal cords sprang into action."Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" I turned and flailed.Screamed and clawed at nothingness.Im not sure why I bothered since my body refused to obey me and kept right on rising."ULRIK!!" At this point I'm pinwheeling,still screaming,and getting more frantic by the second.I do a breast stroke in the air.A butterfly.Jumping jacks. Uncoordinated flapping around(thank God I'd put some tights on the night before).Nothing worked. "Judah,get down this istant." I barely heard him over my wildly beating heart and my rapid,short burst screaming."Don't you think I'm trying?!" I started to swim through the air,looked down and realised that my momentum was taking me off the path and steering me towards some-thankfully-normal looking pine trees.I also noticed a certain Tree Bear looking extremely annoyed and very inconvenienced walking beneath me."You need to quiet
Thwack,woosh,swat.That was the rhythm we walked to.Ukrik's big rod (really need to start phrasing this better so I don't sound like a perv) slapped a low hanging branch out of the way,-thwack-swept lower to part the long grass,-woosh-and I was constantly swatting at some very blood thirsty insects that kept nipping at my exposed skin.I'm beginning to regret ever wishing for the normal and familiar.Give me Godis any day.Throughout my scratching and grumbled curses,Ulrik told his tale."Glob knew that his victory would never be permanent unless he put other measures in place.To maintain dominion,he had to venture out of this realm and into yours.""I don't get it,why couldn't he just work his voodoo magic on his own people?"He grunted with his next thwack,forcing me to hop over the branch that fell.Which caused me to bump into his granite back and pretty much break my face."Holy pineapple on a stic
I hate snakes.In my brain they represent the epitome of evil.Satan himself was once a snake.They creep me all the way out,so it's safe to say I did a full on Usain Bolt transformation.At least in my head I did.In reality I'm not exactly athletic since my favorite past time is sitting in bed eating nutella and binge watching netflix.Constantly glancing back at them slithering relentlessly towards me didn't help either but I felt like little mouse prey and these things were enormous, looking like they vacationed in Hell.Ulrik, meanwhile has his staff in the air,swirling it around as if he's mixing lemonade and doing a weird jig."Is this really the time to cut loose?!" I asked incredulously.What on earth is he doing? These things can probably swallow me whole and consider me an appetizer.Ulrik might break a few teeth though so I can picture that before I'm completely digested.Wait,do snakes even have teeth?Ulrik ignores me and conti
Deep breath Judah.You've kicked Keanu's ass a bunch of times.Of course,to be fair,those were mainly pillow fights and paint ball battles but still.I do a mental shrug.Roll my shoulders.I try to crack the bones in my neck too but I think they're too lubricated from the grease of all the fried crap I eat so that's a fail.Back to my internal pep talk.You can do this.You've got this Judah.I've got about ten minutes to repent of my sins is what I've got.My heart accelerates,it's frantic beat echoing in my head and my breathing gets heavy.Ah man,I don't want to die.I can feel myself start to sweat.Wait,nope,aiming for a badass transformation here.If I can become Usain Bolt then Jean Grey shouldn't be too much of a stretch right? I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face,the gentle sway of the flowers brushing against my nightgown.Beneath me the ground trembles and in the distance my ears pick
My dark hair streamed out behind me and my feet threaten to tangle together as I run and examine my luminous limbs at the same time,giggling and sputtering like someone high on marijuana."Ulrik I'm glowing! I feel like a night light or something!"I finally catch up and fall into step beside him.That is,I try to,since one of his strides is about three of mine.I might as well still be running."You humans aren't very smart are you? I'm very aware of that fact,which is why I pointed it out to you," he remarked derisively and shakes his head slowly from side to side.I lift my hands and examine them scant inches from my face.They shimmer gold and I fight the urge to 'ooh and aah' like some brainless kid seeing his first magic trick."No need to be snarky.""You make it terribly easy.""I think you're just mean"At this he snorts.
Ulrik's arm was a band of iron keeping me anchored to his shoulder.I felt like a corpse- hollow and lifeless.I watched the fathomless dark cyclone inhale what was once a picturesque meadow and I felt empty inside.Till all that emptiness was crammed with unadulterated terror when I remembered it was about to inhale me too.Ulrik ignored my tiny,fretful whimpers and ran like his life depended on it.Which it did.He powered on as if the hounds from hell were snapping at his heels.Looked more like the toothless green mouth of hell,but close enough.His feet ate up the distance and I'm sure even Bolt would have a hard time keeping up with him.One second I was imagining being torn limb from limb inside the mouth of death coming for us and the next I was thrown into a steel wall.The back of my head bounced painfully off of it and my back felt like someone had hit me with a baseball bat."What the vagina U
After a minute,my hilarity subsided into chuckles and the occasional snort.I brushed my hands off ,rose and dusted my very bruised rump,then turned and took stock of the new terrain.We seemed to be on a slightly weed choked gravel pathway at the foot of a small hill.A small burgundy hill with green foliage.To my credit I snapped my mouth shut before I started to attract flies.A soft breeze brought with it the smell of the sea and I surmised that the ocean was on the other side.I lifted my face to the sky and was almost disappointed to see mundane blue and white with the blinding golden circle that was the sun. Ulrik was a couple steps ahead of me and I ran my hands over the plants and bushes that were all in various shades of green as I caught up.I couldn't wrap my mind around magenta looking dirt and green flowers."This is so freaky."Ulrik followed the meandering path and ignored me."Where are
"So this is the human who wishes to kick me," Ulrik declared contemptuously beside me.Keanu pulled back,held me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes briefly before turning and meeting Ulrik's challenging appraisal."Who are you?" Keanu demanded,squaring his shoulders and planting his feet.I rolled my eyes.Men.Well males since Ulrik is,well....Ulrik.He puffed up his chest a little,tilted his head arrogantly and flicked his hand downward, summoning his staff that somehow looked decidedly more threatening than it did before."I am Ulrik the Finder,and I will have you know that no one, barring Glob,ruler of Opa has bested me in a fight.You shan't be kicking me,but I will give you a fair chance" he answered.I swear his voice went a couple octaves deeper.Must be all the testosterone he's trying not to choke on.I saw Keanu's hackles raise and I k
The enchanting lights of the crystals blurred together into a muddy brown before my eyes as Ulrik sped through the thickening crimson haze.I desperately wanted to crane my neck and try to figure out what was chasing us but aside from my dangling legs, I was completely immobile. Apparently Keanu's brain hadn't quite arrived at the same conclusion mine had as I could feel the reverberations from his pointless thrashing through Ulrik's bark-like skin."What is wrong with you bro? Put me down! Are you insane? Do I look like a helpless little female?" A quick pause as he reassesses,then "No offence,Jude"I'd shrug if I could."None taken."I'm usually all bark and no bite.Ulrik powers on relentlessly and my hair comes completely undone from the bun I'd fashioned on the hill."Hey! What is WITH you bro? What are you running from? Where are you taking us? Hey!HEY!" His voice is thick with insult and outrag