From My Past

She was and is my world.

My end all be all.

My sun. My moon. My stars.

My agapitós.

My beloved.

I have never had enough time with her. But is there anything as enough time with the one that your soul is bound to till the end of time?

Every century I find her and then I lose her. It's different every time. Train accident, childbirth, animal attack, war, famine, etc.

I see it happen every time. Another piece of myself ripped from myself as she dies.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do.

The loud buzz of the tattoo gun brings me back to the present. I glance down at my arm as I get some retouching finished and the new tattoo of her signature from her last letter.

My friend Axel has been my tattoo artist since the 13th century. He's like me. A creature that lives forever, doesn't die, and is just here. His other half isn't cursed like mine is. A curse that takes her away from me. He has had his agapitós (beloved) since he was 22 in human years.

He's not the only one I know that's like me either. There are many but we are hidden and we don't let many people know of us. Last estimate we had from 100 years ago there were about 5,000 of us worldwide.

"Ok bro. See you in a few years for another touchup. But you're then that we need to have family dinner again soon." He said swiping at my arm a few more times. The plastic wrapped around my arm quickly as I grunted in approval and acknowledgement of his request.

As I walk outside I see it getting dark outside, the night sky opening up for all to see. All the stars perfectly set in their places against the darkening sky.

I wish I could hold her on nights like this. When we were still human, I would sneak to her house in the middle of the night. I would meet her in the garden behind her parents house. We always took advantage of those nights by sitting outside, drinking, talking, making love, and watching the stars.

I start up my black Challenger and rev the engine. The black leather seats cool in the summer breeze. My stomach growls as I know I need to eat. I haven't eaten since this morning. I spent all day in a town close by, making sure she wasn't there.

I take the backstreets to my favorite Mexican restaurant. I visit this establishment at least once a week. The food is ok, but I kept getting drawn here.

If she's not here though, then I need to move on. I need to look in another town.

I sigh as I pull up in the parking lot and run a hand through my greying hair. In this life cycle I am closing in on 45, so my hair is getting to be more white and dark grey then anything else. My beard matches my hair and I know she would kill me if she saw it.

Usually I find her by now and I can at least have my time with her before something disastrous happens, but now I'm afraid I might die without seeing her in this lifetime.

That would be the worst thing to ever happen. In one lifetime I only saw her once. At a protest for a war. She was beautiful. Her slacks and bow tied shirt were a protest in itself because women were shunned when they wore pants in that life time. She died at the protest when she was shot before my eyes. Only a few moments after I first saw her and I went to war 2 weeks later.

At least I saw her.

I finally haul myself out of my car and scan my eyes across the parking lot. I feel off now that I'm here. I hate that feeling of not being in control of everything around me.

As I enter the restaurant the aroma of beer, salsa, and chips invades my senses. Mexican food has definitely become my favorite over the years.

I glance up at the waiter as he starts to bring me to a seat on the other side of the restaurant when a laugh rings through the restaurant. The laugh that makes me stop dead in my tracks no matter where I am.

I look up quickly to scan the restaurant. I want to see her so bad I'm afraid I'm almost imagining her at this point.

I stop dead in my tracks when I see 4 tables turned in to a long table in the middle of the restaurant.

She's right there in the middle.

My one.

My soul.

My agapitós.

Her smile is bright and her long straight brown hair is pushed on to one side.

She always said she would keep it long for me. Never cutting it. No matter what era we were in.

I stare as I walk to my table almost running over the poor waiter that was just trying to help me. I looked at her table but sitting at where he wanted me to, I couldn't get a good look at her.

"Can I get my usual seat man?" I ask the short waiter. My voice deep and gruff.

"Sí." He answered surprised and we switched to my usual table.

Perfect spot to gaze upon her.

Fuck, she looks amazing.

She's wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a single sunflower in the middle. Her favorite flower.

Her light blue bell bottom jeans and I can only guess flip flops. She hated covering her feet and thrives on the spring and summer where she can be barefoot.

Her laughter rings out again as it makes me want to fall to my knees and whisk her out of here.

But I can't. I have to make sure she knows it's me.

A few whispers came from her table as the people around her nudge her side and glance up to meet my line of sight.

Fuck I stared too long.

She glances up. Her greenish blue eyes met mine. Her eyes widened as she looked over.

"Damn." I heard her mutter.

"Go talk to him." One girl pushed.

"Uh yeah Daddy likes what he sees." Another giggled.

"Penny you are 12. Shut your mouth before your mom hears you." My love scolded the girl. The girl only shrugged in response and turned to talk to the young boy beside her.

They must be her family this time. She doesn't look like any of them like even a little bit. Margaritas, beer bottles, and plates empty of food littered their table.

"You guys are so drunk. Shut up before he hears you. Also guys that look like him are always taken. It's always my luck, Remember that James dude you tried to set me up with 3 months ago?" My love laughed out loud.

If she only knew I was all hers. I could barely contain myself as I sat here watching her. Every time I saw her it was like the first time seeing her ever. Her beautiful appearance  made me turn in to a pile of goo. Her laugh made my body tense and her voice made me want to whisk her out of here and have my way with her.

My heart clenched at the thought of her being with another man.

"Oh my God Steph....that was once and I didn't know. You like tattoos. He had tattoos." The dark haired friend whined.

"Y'all are ridiculous." My love giggled at everyone.

"Steph....he's still staring." The light haired girl pointed out in a sing song voice.

"He's staring a bit too much if you ask me." The built man to the side of her. I stared down at my phone as I texted Axels brother Aaron for backup. I knew he lived close.

On my way brother. Was the quick response.

Fuck am I staring too much?

"Thank God no one asked you your opinion you moron." My love laughed at the man sitting next to her. He rolled his eyes and slipped his arm over the back of the dark haired friend.

Her eyes caught mine again but this time she just smiled at me.

Fuck I am staring.

I saw her slowly stand up. She looked young. Younger then me in this time frame.

I didn't even realize how close she had gotten until I heard her sweet voice, "Hey."

God she fucking looked amazing.

She sat down in front of me and stared at me. "Do I know you?" She asked softly.

I just stared. Fuck she looked amazing.

"How old are you?" I asked not even paying attention to her question.

She sputtered out a laugh and answered, "34. You?"

"44." I answered still staring.

"You look awfully familiar." She said squinting her eyes at me.

I just smirked in return.

"I'm Stephanie." She said pushing her hand out to me.

"Deacon." I said. Her body slightly tensed up at my voice. It made me happy inside to know I had some sort of affect on her. Especially her body.

I slowly enveloped my hand over hers. Her hand was small but it felt soft. But she was always a tough cookie. Hard outer shell and the most amazing soft woman on the inside.

"Nice to meet you." She said slowly as we broke our handshake.

My body almost reacted to losing her touch. She usually remembered who I was and we would run away together. Not this time. Her eyes still held a vague sense of annoyance of finding out who I was.

I look at her curiously as she just stares at me quizzically. She doesn't remember me at all. Fuck this is going to be a lot harder than normal.

"Steph. Aren't you going to introduce us?" One of the people from her table popped up beside us.

"Jeez Bridgette." Stephanie gasped and rolled her eyes.

"Sorry. It's almost 10 and we have work tomorrow." The raven haired girl said while looking through her purse. The man who caught me staring early had her arm around her waist. At least he wasn't with what is mine.

"Girls. Deacon. Deacon. Girls. Give me a minute and I will be out." She said and gave them the get the hell outta here look.

The girls both waved as I nodded in goodbyes. I then turned my attention back to the goddess in front of me. I wanted to memorize every part of her face and body.

"Deacon." She said softly. Her voice saying my name just made me hard as a rock.

I raised my eyebrow in response.

"Give me your phone. Call me. We can...ya know...get to know each other." She explained.

I handed her my phone and she started dialing numbers in to it, "Not much of a talker huh?" She asked as she saved her number.

I smirked and slowly shook my head staring at her beautiful face.

"That's fine. I will probably end up talking enough for the both of us." She laughed and winked at me.

I nodded and put my phone in my pocket. I had found her. I just needed to touch her again to find out why she doesn't remember me.

Her hips swayed lightly and her pants fit perfectly against her ass and hips.

As I watched her walk out the door I saw Aaron walking in. He waved at me and caught Stephanie in his line of vision. His eyes went wide.

He glanced at me and I nodded. His fist flew in the air as more of her family passed him staring at him oddly.

The long table in the middle was now clear of her group. 22 seats were filled but I only noticed the goddess in the middle.

"Why the hell aren't you going caveman on her and taking her out of here?" Aaron asked.

"She didn't recognize me." I said lowly and that's when the words I just spoke sunk in.

This was going to be a lot harder this time around and I had no clue how to remedy this seriously fucked up situation.