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Athena POV

Anyway, back to my spirit animal, who I am just going to assume is a wolf until proven otherwise. Why she came this early I have yet to figure out. Perhaps the moon goddess sent her early as a way to deal with my pathetic life. It was beyond a little confusing when she came to me. I thought I was going batshit crazy.

‘Going?’ she teases. Since we share a soul she can hear every thought I have. Ares is a cheeky one, I’ll tell you that. Damn feisty too. Whatever I’m lacking, she has in redundance. 

Confidence being one of those things. Being bullied your entire life will do that to you, I guess. Along with trust issues to last me a lifetime. I don’t even trust Millie 100% yet, afraid anyone will turn on me once I let my guard down.

That’s the way it went with the shit stains as well. We were actually best friends at some point. One day we were all fine and playing together, and the next day, like the flip of a switch, I was stamped as the pack’s doormat.

I still can’t grasp in my mind what happened. But I have stopped trying to decipher it. It is what it is. I have been called every name in the book, but fat-ass seems to be their favorite pet name for me. Lucky me, huh?

Sure, I used to be on the thick side for a werewolf, but that all vanished when I got Ares and when I started training at red runner one summer, together with Maxim and Millie. After that, I kept my training regimen secret back home as I don’t want any of them to see me working out. I still solely wear sweatpants and baggy clothes outside of my home, as their constant belittling is still gnawing at my confidence.

I have long brown hair, but I always put it in a bun. And most of the times I wear caps. Why bother, right? And it feels comfortable.

Millie has been urging me to let go of my bun and baggy clothes more, but I haven’t found the desire nor courage for it yet. I just hope my mate can look past it in due time and love me for who I am. If I get a mate, that is, considering I don’t know for sure what I am yet.

I wonder if I will get a wolf mate if I turn out to be anything else, since I am living with them. I would have hoped to have found him already. But then again, I only ever visit red runner pack. I’m just praying my mate is from there, since I absolutely adore the pack. You can only find your fated mate, blessed to you by the moon goddess, when both parties have their wolf already.

Anyway, I trailed off. Back to Millie. Millie has become my absolute best friend. The feisty redhead is an absolute diamond. Bright and pure. I have told her and Maxim bits and pieces of my life here, but not all of it. I’m afraid they’ll judge me for it.

Alphas tend to stick together. Even though Maxim seems genuinely different from the terror twins, also known as Jake and Jerry. But I prefer to call them shit stains. Or rats. I too have my pet names for them. But, naming them rats is an insult to rat species really.

Besides the rat boys, we have cockroach Thalia, who is a warrior’s daughter. The nickname cockroach suits her more than I can put into words. I call her that because she really is the most disgusting creature to ever walk this earth. I know it sounds horrible, but really, you should meet her.

She has platinum blonde hair, smooth skin and her body is thin. She looks hot, absolutely perfect. Don’t you just hate it when someone has it all? Besides her personality, that is. Or any personality at all, I should say.

I don’t even hate her with determination anymore. What I feel for her has no bounds. My blood boils when thinking of her, and I feel an overwhelming urge to squash the life out of her whenever I see her.

‘So much for being docile, huh?’.

I do love how she always hangs off Jake and Jerry when I’m near though. Like I am any threat to her at all, like I would want anything to do with either of them. B*tch, there’s not enough money in the WORLD for me to want to have anything to do with them. Ever.

You know those women who are so insanely sweet, forgiving and loving that they end up protecting or even caring for their lifetime abusers?

Yeah – that isn’t me. Tit for tat bro.

I have been forced to submit in the past years, yes, mainly because of their incessant threats to hurt (the livelihoods of) my family. But the fire inside me hasn’t nullified. On the contrary - it’s a raging inferno by now. I just shove it down deep enough to not emerge.

Anyway. Then there is bed bug Benji. He is the future beta, considering the chauvinistic pricks here decided a woman can’t be a ranked member, and my “father” only had a daughter. And lastly there is mosquito Brody (the gamma’s son). This sums up the worst of them.

Their entire posse consists of 8 to 10 of my bullies, but these are by far the worst. The rest of them seem to just go with the flow. Not that that makes them any better. 

Although I have resided in my fate in order to protect my family, Ares is the total opposite of that. Each beating, each humiliation, each time our head gets shoved down the toilet until we pretend to pass out ignites her fire even more.  She wants to rip them all to shreds. And, honestly, she easily could since they have no wolves yet.

And I still believe she is a wolf considering how fearless she is. Wolves are at the top of the food chain. She wouldn’t be this bold against wolves if she wasn’t a wolf herself. It is a bit odd that she is this fearless in front of the Alpha heirs though, knowing we could be severely punished or even executed if we ever acted upon her murderous thoughts towards them. Wolves are generally submissive to their Alpha.

But mom was adamant on not shifting when she saw Ares’s red eyes. You see – red eyes aren’t normal for a wolf. They have black eyes once the wolf pushes forward. The only other person that has seen them is our Luna Grace. Yes - the mom of those shit stains. In the beginning, when I wasn’t so skilled at controlling my wolf yet, she saw my eyes flash when I was being bullied and couldn’t control Ares for a split second.

When she too insisted I kept it a secret, with a slight panic might I add, I started putting more effort into suppressing Ares. Grace is a great luna and an amazing person, so I took her words to heart. It’s ironic that she is such a kind person, since she is the mother of the kings among scum.

Unfortunately for me, she doesn’t carry much weight in this pack, since our pack is misogynistic as can be and the luna is seen as a glorified party planner. Luna Grace is so much more though. At least to me she is. She is the only one besides my mom who gives a damn about me, and I have come to love her. 

Anyway. I have glanced at Ares’s eyes in the mirror when she was pushing forward. And my goddess - she has the most breathtaking, extraordinary red eyes.

It has made me question several times whether or not Ares is indeed a wolf. But, like I said, I just can’t imagine her being anything less considering her fierce nature. In fact – I believe she is a bit more.. special than the average wolf, considering the color of her eyes. Maybe that’s why mom doesn’t want us to shift.

Ares does agree to not let others in the pack see her though,  despite her wanting to rip them to shreds every day. She told me her instincts were also telling her not to reveal herself in our pack. She is just really bad at containing her anger unfortunately, as am I.  I have to close my eyes each time someone angers me or Ares.

Needless to say, I almost spend my days like a blind person with having to close them so much.

I am brought back rudely from my thoughts when another rotten egg hits me square in the eye, and I curse under my breath. Glancing up, I see Jake grinning like a hooker who just got spanked.

Did I tell you I hate them with a passion yet?

Ares lets out a low growl, but not loud enough for them to hear without their wolves. Next to Jake stands Jerry, with a demonic grin on his face as well. When my gaze drops to his hand, I spot why he is grinning. And, on cue, a dead rat (oh, the irony) is hurled at me.

I. Fucking. HATE. Them. SO. much.

Closing my eyes for the umpteenth time today, I wonder why the moon goddess doesn’t descend and strike them down on the spot. I would do anything to see that happening, I would definitely sacrifice a kidney or something.

‘Just let me free and I’ll do the dirty work’ Ares growls. But we can’t, and she knows it. F*ck my life. She just has some anger management issues at times like these. Although I don’t blame her. I would gladly scratch their eyes out myself.

So, let me elaborate on the vermin before me as a distraction to keep my mind occupied. Because of their Alpha blood, both of them have muscles and jawlines for days. All Alphas do. They have black, wavy hair almost reaching their shoulders, and brown eyes meant to draw in any woman they please.

Anyone except for me, that is.

I am about the only girl in the pack they haven’t slept with. The only plus side of being labeled the pack’s degenerate.  It’s fucking gross if you ask me. I pity the girl that will be mated to them. The fucked-up part of it all is that women not of Alpha blood are unable to reject their fated mate if he is an Alpha. Poor girl. I can only hope that the girl they will be mated to is equally disgusting as they are. Someone like Thalia.

I pray to the goddess that my fated mate won’t be such a man whore. Or such a filthy human being. I don’t know what I would do if he were. Sure, appearance wise they are handsome. But that doesn’t balance out their repulsive personalities. Typical “pretty on the outside, rotten on the inside” story.

“OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HER FACE!!! I’M DEAD” I hear the cockroach bellowing out in laughter, taking short gasps of air in between.

‘I hope she chokes on her laughter’.

‘Me too, Ares. Me too. Or on a bag of d*cks’. I sigh in response.

This is my life, welcome to the shit parade!