Kabanata 4

Pagbalik ko sa opisina niya, ramdam ko agad ang panibagong bigat sa dibdib. Ilang oras na akong nilalamig, pagod, at emotionally drained, pero eto na naman ako, bitbit ang laptop ko, hawak ang updated report, ibang files na pinapaayos niya, at pilit nilalakasan ang loob.

Panaka-naka akong pumasok, pabilis nang pabilis ang tibôk ng puso.

Nakaupo siya sa swivel chair niya, isang kamay nakapatong sa desk, hawak ang phone pero hindi nakatingin doon. Nakatitig siya sa akin. Matalim. Seryoso. Parang inaaral ang kabuuan ko mula ulo hanggang paa. Napansin ko rin ang bahagyang pagtaas ng kilay niya.

“You didn't answer me when you left, Irene. Who did this to you?” tanong niya agad sa mabigat na boses. "I don't tolerate bullying. Speak up."

“I— I just tripped, Sir.” I replied, barely above a whisper. Kahit ako, hindi ko makuhang maging matapang. "Nadapa."

“Tripped?” Tumayo siya mula sa kinauupuan niya at lumapit sa gilid ng mesa. “Basang-basa ka dahil nadapa ka? Saan? Sa swimming pool ba? As far as I can remember, nasa rooftop ang pool. What kind of excuse is that?”

I swallowed hard. Hindi ko siya matingnan sa mata. Hindi ko rin alam kung kakayanin ko pang magsinungaling.

“Answer me properly, Irene.”

Huminga ako nang malalim. Bahagyang nanginig ang balikat. Hindi ko na rin alam kung dahil sa lamig o sa takot.

“I was in the restroom, Sir,” I said slowly. “Some of the girls... they poured water on me.”

Natahimik ang buong kwarto. As in literal na tahimik, tipong nakakabingi kahit walang ingay.

Pag-angat ko ng tingin, nakita ko ang expression sa mukha niya. Hindi siya galit. He just... looked puzzled. Not surprised, but more like... he didn’t know how to process it.

“Pinagtulungan ka nila?” he asked, voice low.

“I guess I deserved it,” bulong ko. Walang conviction. Halos pabulong na lang talaga.

“Excuse me?” His voice turned thundered. Tumayo siya ng tuwid, shoulders squared. “You think being harassed in the restroom is something you deserve?”

“Maybe if I weren’t always messing up... they wouldn’t hate me so much.”

“Irene," pigil ang tono niyang tawag, malamig at mabigat. “Stop saying that. Don’t even try to justify that kind of behavior.”

Natahimik ako. Gusto kong ipaliwanag, pero kahit ako, alam kong wala akong maibibigay na matinong rason. I just... felt small. Hindi ko rin nakita kung sino ang gumawa para isumbong sa kanya.

Marahas siyang bumuntong hininga, naglakad pabalik sa likod ng upuan niya at kinuha ang itim niyang blazer. Pagbalik niya, nilapag niya ito sa ibabaw ng mesa.

“Wear this,” he said flatly. “You’re shivering.”

“I’m fine—”

“Wear. It.”

Hindi na ako nakipagtalo pa. I reached for it slowly, at saka ko sinuot habang nakayuko pa rin. Nakaramdam ako ng init. Mabango rin. Comforting. First time kong makasuot ng mamahaling blazer at sa lalaki pa. And for some reason, it made me feel... protected.

He returned to his seat. Arms crossed. Eyes on me.

“Look,” he started, “you’ve been messing up a lot lately. That’s a fact.”

Napakagat ako sa labi. Here we go again, I thought.

“But that doesn’t give anyone the right to humiliate you.”

Napaangat ako ng tingin. That... wasn’t what I expected. Hindi ko alam kung aware siyang nagagawa niya rin 'yon sa akin pero hindi, parang ibang tao ang kaharap ko ngayon.

“I can’t have someone on my team na hindi kayang tumayo para sa sarili niya, Irene. You think being quiet and keeping it all in makes you strong? It doesn’t. It just makes you a target.”

Nanatali pa rin akong tahimik. Nakakagulat ang mga sinasabi niya ngayon.

“You think staying silent will make people stop? No. It just tells them they can do worse next time. Mas lalala pa.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Tanong ko, mas mahina sa inaasahan ko. “Confront them? Call them out? I don’t even have proof.”

“Who cares about proof?” Bumuntong hininga siya. “You want to survive here? Learn to speak up. Make noise. Defend yourself kung sa tingin mo tama ka."

“You think I’m not trying?” Napalakas ang boses ko nang kaunti. “Every single day I wake up asking myself if I still belong here.”

Napakurap siya. Hindi niya siguro inasahan na sasagot ako nang gano’n.

“I work hard, Sir,” tuloy ko, nanginginig na ang boses. “I stay late. I redo my work kahit ilang ulit mo akong pagalitan. And still... I feel like I’m disposable.”

Nakita ko kung paano siya natigilan.

“I never said you were disposable,” he finally said, his voice softer.

“But that’s how you make me feel.” Pagpapakatotoo ko.

Katahimikan ulit na para bang hindi niya inaasahan ang usapang 'to.

Tumayo siya muli, this time, hindi na intimidating ang awra. Kinuha niya ang babasaging baso sa lamesa at nagsalin ng tubig mula sa pitcher.

“Drink,” he said.

Tinanggap ko. Uminom ako kahit nanginginig pa rin ang kamay ko. Ilang segundo lang, pero pakiramdam ko bumagal ang oras.

He was just... looking at me. Not like a boss, not like a superior, but like someone actually trying to see what’s beneath the broken copywriter.

“You want to stay in this company?” tanong niya bigla.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Then I need you to show me why. I want you to stay here, Irene."

Napalunok ako. Why do I feel like he was begging to me?

He sat back down and leaned forward, elbows on his desk.

“Finish your report. Then come back here. We’ll talk about what to do next.”

“Okay...” I nodded slowly.

As I stood up, he added, “And Irene?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever say you deserve to be treated like trash again. I don’t tolerate incompetence... but I hate injustice more.”

I didn’t know what to say. But for the first time that night, I felt warm. Not because of the blazer. Not even because of the words.

But because someone saw me. Not as a problem to fix, or a joke to laugh at, just... me.

Lumabas ako ng opisina niya, ramdam ang init ng blazer. Parang yakap na hindi ko inasahan. Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko. Parang may binuksan siya sa akin na matagal ko nang isinara.

At habang naglalakad ako pabalik sa desk ko, bitbit ang laptop, hindi ko napigilan tanungin ang sarili ko—

Why does the man I hated the most... suddenly feel like the only one on my side?