Chapter 4: Grasping

A new day ahead, and a new problem to attend to. I’ve done my morning routine and am currently walking down to the kitchen. I was walking comfortably when I felt a presence behind me. I looked back but there was nothing to see. Maybe I’m just hallucinating because of the things that happened these past few days. I continued walking and I felt again that there was someone who was following me. I pretended to not notice it and found a way to know who was behind me. I finally reached the stairs, and this is the way to find out who it is. I waited for a minute and there was no human being who passed. I climbed the first step and peeked if there was someone, but there was none. I’d just shrugged the thought off and was ready to continue walking down when I felt an arm encircling my stomach.

“What are you looking at?” said the man who was behind me. Wait, I know this scent. The menthol that first invaded my nose the moment I was in a stranger’s room that night. I’m sure that this is Taddeio. The man of my dreams—wait, erase, erase, erase... my savior.

I was struggling when I forced him to get his arms off of me. He’s so strong and his biceps were showing. What a nice sight you have, Merchaiass. I am supposed to be mad, but I feel safer in his arms. What is happening to me? Am I truly ready to commit? It won’t hurt me, right?

“Hey, you okay?” He faced me and then looked at me with so much worry visible in his eyes.

“Are you sick?” He added while he was checking my temperature by putting the back of his hand on my forehead.

“I-I am fine.” I said while removing his touch from my skin. I feel like burning. It can’t be tamed by just simply putting water on it. It’s so hot in here and I should go to the kitchen now. I didn’t wait for his response and walked immediately towards the kitchen. When I arrived, I couldn’t understand why my heart was still beating so fast. It seems like I have run a thousand miles without resting. What are you doing to me, Taddeio? Please stop this madness before I can’t control myself anymore.

Before my mind created some sweet scenarios with that man, a noticeable sound cut those. It’s a crying sound, and it sounded like it’s experiencing hardships at the moment. Out of curiosity, I followed that sound, and it brought me to a door that leads to the basement. I nervously opened the door and it was seemingly dark; only the lightbulb from the kitchen helped to keep the area visible. I walked in to see what was happening inside. I nearly shouted when the door spontaneously closed. The good thing was that I abruptly covered my mouth before creating a large sound. I don’t know what to do. Should I continue? What if someone is in trouble? I should help that person. And so, I continued walking in the darkness when I saw a light coming from a distance. I doubled my speed and it led me to a space that contained a chair, a bed, and tools... they were a lot. My mouth went agape when I saw an eyeball. It was directly looking at me. Due to the various emotions that I felt at the moment, adrenaline kicked in and my feet just moved on their own. I was running like my life depended on it, and because there’s no light here in the basement, I stumbled and I felt a hand touching my leg.

“Help me, please. Before they come back,” the man said while he was hugging my leg. He’s the one that I heard from the kitchen and the reason why I’m here. I held his hand, assuring him that I would be here. Because of the nervousness, I didn’t know what to do, and he said that I should untie the chain on his ankle. I’m anxious because of the idea that I might be like him if I didn’t get out of here fast. But my conscience persecuted me, so I looked for a way to untie the chain. I was in the middle of pulling when I heard a group of people laughing from afar.

“Faster, please. I’m begging you to save me.” With a trembling voice, the man pleaded with me to save him from here. But, I can’t do it—I can’t find a way to save him.

“I’m so sorry.” This is the only sentence that I said to him before I ran again. I heard him calling me, but I can’t look back because I might go back and save him, even though it will cost me my life. I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t expect the basement to be this wide. I stopped running and hiding when I noticed some foot steps. I could hear the sound of the chewing. It looked like it was chewing gum. The person spit it out and started whistling. I can’t remember the song, but it's similar to the one that I know. I can hear it loudly, and it seems like the person who was whistling was behind the wall. I could see his figure coming in my direction as I adjusted my eyes in the darkness. My heart beats louder and louder, and it’s eager to go out. I can feel that my soul left my body a minute ago. The combination of the foot steps and whistling was deafening. My feet became cold, my sweat tripled, my mind went blank, and I lost feeling in my body. After a few seconds of battling with myself, I decide to check if it’s safe to go outside as I can’t hear a single sound coming from a human being. It’s extremely solemn here and I was hiding in a pile of wood boxes. Thankfully, I will not be easily seen if something goes wrong. I bravely looked to see if the man was still there. I was silently hoping that he was not. I quickly ran back to my place when he directly looked at me—I mean, to the direction of the boxes. He was walking straightly towards me when he was called by the other person. I sighed when I realized that I was safe, for now. I was ready to go out when I felt a hand holding mine. My heartbeat was going wild now and I was ready to face my fate when I heard the voice that put my heart at ease.

“Don’t shout.”

“Who are you?” I boldly asked for assurance.

“You can’t recognize my voice, babe?” He asked while chuckling. I could feel his breath on my skin, and it really put me at ease. I pulled my hand from his possession and was aiming to punch him when he caught my hand and said that, “Save that for later, but for now, let’s get out of here.”

He held my hand again and clasped it together. He guided the way, and in an instant, we were here in front of the basement door. He swiftly opened the door. The brightness blinded me, but it didn’t stop the man who was holding my hand and leading me. We stopped at a certain door, and I’m guessing that it’s his room, and I’m not wrong about that. He helped me to sit on his bed, gave me a glass of water, and asked me, “Are you okay?”

I couldn’t respond to his question, and I’m just amazed at how he managed to give me a sweet smile after all of the things that happened in the basement.

“Do you want something?” he added.

I repeatedly shook my head to answer his question. I can’t pull myself together, and I’m still stuck there in the basement. The pleas of that man made me uncomfortable and heartless. Why would I do that? Are you out of your mind, Merchaiass? I think you’re a thoughtful person, but what kind of heart do you have when you’ve just left him there all alone? Because of the frustration, my tears just suddenly escaped my eyes. You have no heart, Merchaiass. You’re a monster! I am so lost and I don’t know where I will go. My sanity is slowly slipping away from my body. I felt so guilty, and I don’t know if I can sleep comfortably later. Maybe I’ll just dream that exact moment below there. My tears pooled when I felt Taddeio's hug. He’s just silent all the time, hugging me tightly and just listening to my cries. I hugged him back and cried wholeheartedly. I can’t seem to stop. He caressed my back, and I whispered, “It will be okay.” He did it for a while now, and I started to feel the heavy weight on my eyelids—resulting in me dozing off. He said something that was completely inaudible to me. How much I wanted to know that, but I’m so sleepy.

“You’re not an item, but why am I eager to put you into my possession? This is the first time I've felt this sensation, Merch; what are you doing to me?"

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I suddenly woke up and my eyes hurt big time. I think they were puffy right now. I am in the middle of sitting up when the door opens. It is Taddeio, holding a tray that has bowls on it. He looks so fresh and handsome... he’s wearing a muscle shirt and shorts. I noticed the water dripping from his hair. Maybe he just went for a shower. He looked so good—

“I already know that I’m hot, babe. No need to remind me about that.” He said that and then winked at me. I was so ready to throw him the pillow when he suddenly expressed his worries. A hand touched my heart. I felt so soft and he slowly invaded my system.

“Are you okay now? I got you breakfast. Eat first.” He walked towards me and helped me to sit comfortably. Then, he gave me the tray. I can see no pity and purely worry written on his face. When he noticed that I didn’t touch my food, he got the spoon, scooped some rice and fed me. I didn’t open my mouth and just let the spoon hang. I didn’t know what to feel. I had so many things going in my mind; questions were overflowing and frustrations kept coming back. I felt like crying again, but no tears came out of my eyes. Maybe they have already run out. I silently laughed at that thought, and perhaps I’m going insane now. I have questions about Taddeio, too. But I can’t voice it out as he’s the one who saved me. Still, I’m wondering what he’s doing there in the basement. The timing was just right. I wanted to ask about that guy in the basement. Did he escape or not?

“Eat now, and I’ll answer your questions later.” I heard him saying that. And because he’s too persistent, I don’t have the choice but to accept what he’s feeding me. I should be grateful that he’s there to save me, yet here I am, doubting him.

*Please be reminded of the time frame. This story happens in 2013 and not in the present year. 😀