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Thirty-Six
It’s over. It’s finally over.
I loosened my tie and massaged my forehead.
I had a very bad headache and my body felt incredibly heavy. The lack of sleep had done me in good.
I felt terrible.
I texted Yamada-san informing him that I was done with my client meeting. He just needed to follow up with a few more people and this project was as good as in its final stages. Since I had been kicked off mine, and I wasn’t ready to take on a new one yet, I was helping Yamada-san with his.
‘Thank you. I’ll buy you drinks for this. You go take care of yourself now.’ Yamada-san replied.
Thank you.
I got up from the couch that I was sitting on in the lobby of the hotel that I had met my client at. I was feeling under the weather in the morning even as I was getting ready for work. I had taken care of my immediate work and had asked for the rest of the day off after the client meeting.
I could finally go home.
I texted Hiro-san
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The first thing I noticed on waking up was the smell of food. I was feeling a lot better already and the clear nose confirmed it. Seemed like the fever had been because of the fatigue and all I had needed was sleep. How long had I slept though? I checked my watch. It was already 07:20 pm. 07:20?! I thought I had asked Hiro-san to wake me up- Wait. I really could smell food. I got off bed slowly and went out into the living room. “You woke up, Kake-chan? How are you feeling?” Hiro-san asked from the kitchen doorway. “I’m fine.” I replied and turned to the other man who was seated on the couch. It seemed as though they were having a conversation before I walked in. “You’re… early today, aren’t you, Hikaru-nii?” “I finished work early.” My brother replied but said nothing more. He was still in his work clothes so I concluded that he had come here straight from office. I looked at Hiro-san questioningly. There was only one
Home Thirty-Eight
“I’ll be out in ten minutes.” Hiro-san announced and got up from the dining chair when I approached after finishing my bath. Hikaru-nii had finished before me. “You both can talk all you want in the meantime.” “Ah. Thank you.” I handed him the towel when he passed me, then took the chair that he had just vacated, opposite my brother. I breathed. This was it. … Why was this more nerve-wracking than the time I confessed to Hiro-san? “Hikaru-nii-” “Wait.” He stopped me. “First, I want you to listen to what I have to say.” I held his gaze, surprised that he had had anything to say at all. “Okay.” Go on. He took a moment to start speaking, nevertheless. “I actually got scared today.” Scared? “Why?” “I was in office when Hiro called me and… he said you weren’t feeling well. I haven’t been paying you much attention either nowadays and… You live with me. We live in the same house. If anyone, I should have notice
Home Thirty-Nine
Hiro-san was sitting on the bed, one hand on the towel, slowly drying his hair. When I entered his room, he stopped to look at me, then looked out the door and called out to my brother. “Hikaru, is it really okay? I have a futon.”“No. It’s okay. The couch is enough.” Hikaru-nii responded.Hiro-san’s eyes shifted to me. “Shouldn’t we get him the futon?”“It’s okay. He’s not the type to give in to such things that easily anyway. You shouldn’t have mentioned that it needed dusting. He doesn’t want to give you additional work.” I said, looked back at my brother who had already settled himself in and then slowly shut the door. It was probably weird for him that Hiro-san and I were so comfortable with sharing a bed like this. It was already standing out to him how Hiro-san and I had gotten so close.I… really wasn’t trying to hide anything though.Hiro
Home Forty
I was in office three days later when I received the call from Kaori-nee’s mother. She was very well aware of my office timings and I had spoken to Aki-chan just the day before and so the timing of this call had worried me. I stepped out onto the smoking balcony immediately to answer the call. “Yes?” “Kakeru-kun, sorry for calling at this time.” She said as soon as I answered. She did not sound upset or flustered, which was a relief. “No. I have a little time so it’s okay. What is it?” “That… Hikaru-kun had called a little while ago.” Hikaru-nii had called?! “And… what did he say?” I felt myself stiffen a bit. “He apologised. Said that we’d meet soon. He didn’t talk to Akiko but he asked about her.” Could that have been a result of our conversation at Hiro-san’s place? If so, it was good news, right? “That’s… good, isn’t it?” I smiled to myself. “He called, so… maybe- no- he’ll definitely meet you soon.”
Home Forty-One
I stayed where I was on the kitchen floor with the half-done food still sitting atop the flameless stove for the next 40 minutes or so, till I heard the doorbell ring. I just couldn’t find the strength or the will to stand up and finish making what I had started or to go check on my brother after what had happened. The only thing that got me onto my feet was the thought that Hiro-san was the one standing outside the door. “I’m home.” Hiro-san beamed as soon as I opened the door, emanating the very happiness that I had wished for. I couldn’t even offer a smile in return though. Instead, I opened the door fully, stepped outside and dived into his arms. “Woah! Kakeru?” He looked down at me in surprise. “Are you okay?” Of course, I wasn’t okay! “Oi, Kakeru. Look here.” He stroked my hair, lowering his voice a little. I raised my eyes to his and brought my hands up to his face. Then, I kissed him- a long surface kiss. I need
Home Forty-Two
Once I was done packing, I left my room with my backpack. The dining table had been cleared and Hikaru-nii’s door had been shut. Hiro-san was sitting on the couch in the living room and reading something on the phone. I just stood there, eyes affixed on my brother’s door. To think that he wouldn’t even come to see me off… “Let’s go.” I said as I walked past Hiro-san and towards the front door. “Aren’t you going to tell Hikaru?” Hiro-san asked, not getting up. I halted in the entryway. He was right. If I had walked away just then, I would have regretted it later. I walked back in and knocked on Hikaru-nii’s door. “Brother, I’m… going.” I could see that the light was on inside from under the door but he gave me no reply. He… should have heard, right? He should have. I couldn’t bring myself to stand there any longer to confirm. “Please take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything.” I made for the front door again. T
Home Forty-Three
Hikaru-nii religiously skipped having dinner at home after that. Whenever one of us called or texted him, he would either not respond or he would say that he was busy. Even Kaori-nee’s mother had not heard from him after that. After Aki-chan heard that her father had called, she had wanted to talk to him too. When she couldn’t, she had asked- ‘Does Otou-san not want to talk to Aki?'It was difficult to tell her that it wasn’t like that. Honestly, it was just difficult to talk to her after that.Four days passed by and it was the weekend even before we realised it. However, Hiro-san had some work to attend to on Saturday afternoon and so he left immediately after lunch. I stayed back at his place for a while but then got too anxious and decided to head home. On informing Hiro-san after that, he had said that he would come to our place and then we could go back to his together.Hikaru-nii had not answered when I had called him so I was taki
Home Forty-Four
Did I have to actually say it out anymore? It seemed to me as though he had already figured it out. I could not bring myself to admit it. Confronted like that, I could not bring myself to deny it either.I had thought that it would be easier to tell my brother about us. I had not told him till then because he was still mourning Kaori-nee and I was trying to be considerate. I had thought that he would understand.“Kakeru, answer me.”What for? And, then what?“Kakeru!”“We’re dating.” I finally said it.“What?” He lowered his voice, his eyes pinning me to every word that I spoke.“I-I said that we’re dating.” I spoke deliberately and clearly. “Hiro-san is my lover.”He stared at me, then nodded. “Lover.”I swallowed nervously. “Yes.”“Since when?”“Almost two months now.”
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