Kita Punya Esok, tapi tak Punya Selamanya

I feel it, that strange feeling when I know that I would never see the place where I grew up, the playground where I once played when I was a child. I feel a certain nostalgia and sadness. Part of me doesn't want to leave, but another part yells at me that I shouldn't be selfish.

My mother has been offered a very good job in the north of the country, and we have to move. I'm going to a new school, meet new people, leave ... Will —My ex-boyfriend — as soon as I told him the news he got very angry and we broke up. But I think it was for the best.

I put my bags in the car and opened the door. Before leaving I took one last look at my old home. It was a small, white, two-story house. It had a garden full of yellow flowers that Mom had planted during her time there. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and got on.

"Are you ready?" Mom asked, in a whisper. 

No, I'm not. This is too much for me. I do not want to go.

"Yes." I lied.

Mom smiled. She was my size. We are tall. We both have long legs and ruby. Sometimes people confused us as sisters. That's because mom is cheerful and funny, and looked younger than her real age.  I am the opposite of her.

Mom started the car. We had a long way to go. Today was Wednesday, which meant I would have to go to school tomorrow.

God, I'm so nervous.

***

"Carolina, remove that face. We are not going to get into the wolf's mouth." Mom tried to raise my spirits, but I felt a chill when she said the word wolf. I am afraid of wolves. And I heard that our new settlement was placed in the middle of the forest. I don't feel great imagining there are wolves around our house.

"Look at this ..." Mom smiled, "...like a new adventure. You will meet new friends, and find maybe a boy."

Boy? I don't want to meet any guys. Until recently I broke up with Will and it still hurts.

I didn't answer. I just looked out the window. Mom was driving down a forest road. The forest was foggy and beautiful. The trees were huge. 

"We are arriving," Mom announced, pointing to the sign that has this town's name on it. It says LEWISTON.

I didn't get excited. We had traveled for eight hours and I honestly didn't feel my ass. The houses began to be seen, the people, the bars, the cinema, and shops. And I also saw the school. 

"Look, that's your new school." Mom pointed to the huge two-story building in front of us.

There were some guys out there, maybe the ones who stay to bother after they go out because it's getting dark already.

Mom kept driving until she took a road where there were no more houses, just trees.

"Where are we going?" I asked, looking out the window somewhat hurriedly.

"To our house. It's in the forest. I hadn't told you that it was the only property that was available. The old owners moved out a few months ago and it was empty." Mom answered.

Great. 

"This is a very effective way to socialize," I said sarcastically.

Mom denied laughing.

"Look, after all, we're not the only ones who live around here." Mom glanced in the rearview mirror. I turned to see, behind us came three cars. All of them were expensive and black. The windows were dark so I couldn't see through them to see the supposed neighbors, but I could hear the loud music playing.

"Great." I turned my eyes to the front, forming the lips in a single line. 

About five minutes later, I heard a noise coming from the engine.

No!

This can not be happening.!

"Don't fail me now ..." Mom murmured, doing her best to keep the poor car moving, but the car still slowly stopped and it couldn't be started no matter how many times mom tried. 

"Got damn!" Mom exclaimed, hitting the steering wheel hard. 

The cars behind us began to honk in despair.

"I think we have to walk the rest of the way." Mom opened the car door on her side, "It won't be long."

"It's getting dark ..." I murmured. And I didn't want to walk.

"I know, so we better hurry. Help me with the bags, will you?" Mom closed the door and went to the back. Reluctantly I got out of the car and saw the three cars that were still behind us. One of the cars was screaming in despair. It was one of those closed-top vans that are super expensive and pretty.

Even though I couldn't see people inside the cars I could feel their sights on me.

"Carolina, tell those people to stop whistling. They're starting to exasperate me." Mom ordered.

I sighed and turned to those cars. I didn't want to talk to them. Only God knew whether my new neighbors would be friendly or not. But I had to get this piercing car-roaring down. So I still went.

"I'm very sorry ..." I approached that pretty van, and knocked on the window, "Our car died. If you want just pass us. Thank you!"

The driver rolled down the window a bit and I saw a handsome boy around my age sitting in the driver's seat. The boy didn't answer my question. He just looked at me with his charming eyes.

Why did he look at me like this? Was there something wrong with my outfit?

I quickly looked down and checked. There was nothing wrong with my distressed jeans, black jacket, converse, and white T-shirt.

"Hey, you..." The boy opened his sexy lips, but his words were interrupted by the sound of a whistle behind him.

"What?" I was so confused.

As the honking continued, he shook his head, rolled up the window, and drove off.

The first car pulled away quickly, passing by, while the others followed.

What a strange guy!

I went back to our broken car and mom finished packing. Now we had to walk to our new house.

"This wouldn't have happened if that car wasn't rubbish!" I exclaimed, feeling my legs heavy. My outfit made it difficult to walk.

We had been walking for more than an hour. It was dark and the moon had already risen. We didn't meet anyone else along the road. Only the moon illuminated us.

Mom was going ahead, and I was staying a little further behind. The two suitcases were very heavy, and the weather felt freezing. The smoke came out of my mouth when I breathe. I didn't know that this town was this cold, and I only had short loose clothes. The only thing that kept me warm was my jacket. Don't blame me, it was sunny in my old city. The only thing that kept me warm was my jacket.

"We are arriving!" Finally, I heard mom exclaim from up ahead.

The road was full of dirt, and it was difficult to walk. The paved road ended here. I put the suitcases on the floor to get some rest.

"God ..Finally..." I murmured, taking a deep breath.

Unconsciously I looked at the forest. The forest was dark and silent. I had a strong feeling that there was something in the wood calling me. It's a strange feeling. It's like something wants me to get into the forest.

"Carolina, hurry up!" Mom yelled. I came out of my thoughts, grabbing my bags and running a bit until I reached her.

"We arrived!" Mom exclaimed, dropping the suitcases to the ground. It was a large beautiful house, but it wasn't the house that caught my eye.

In front of the house. There was a huge lake. The big round moon was in the sky, lighting up the lake. Its shadow fell on the water, creating a golden reflection. 

This looked so ... Beautiful. 

I walked to the little dock by the lake, looking at the moon's reflection. I saw my own reflection too, hanging beside the moon. 

I closed my eyes for a second, feeling this moment.

"Carolina, help me here!" A moment later, I heard mom yell.

Before I was going back to help Mom, a howl put me on alert, making my foot shudder, and filling me with fear.

Wolves? Are there wolves here ?!

Fuck me not.