Cintanya Bukan Untukku

The man sat up and reached out to the lighter on the bedside table. With a clear clink, the air was filled with the thick scent of smoke other than the extravagant presence of the room.

Jessica blankly got down from the bed with the blanket draped over her body. She bent over to pick up the sleeping robe on the floor and dragged her sore body into the bathroom under the dim lighting.

She did not need to look back because she knew there was no affectionate gaze looking back at her, not even a cold glance was spared.

She turned the shower on. The water was cold at first, yet she stood under it blankly as she washed herself up.

He did not love her. He was just doing his duty as a husband, devoid of any kind of emotions.

She was on birth control pills which took a heavy toll on her body. Because he did not like to use condoms, she was forced to resolve it in this stupid way. Although she knew it was useless, she was afraid that she might get pregnant. If she somehow got pregnant, he would never want the child.

After she came out from the bathroom, the only light by the bedside was turned off. The room was dark and the smoky scent in the air got thicker.

Nevertheless, Jessica had gotten used to it. She slowly made her way to the door and walked out.

In the other room, she leaned on the bed as she stared at the marriage certificate in her hand.

The red marriage certificate was already worn out, and it had cellophane tape all over it. Be it the picture on it or their signature, they were all covered in cracks.

She clearly remembered that day when she had torn the marriage certificate into pieces while crying her lungs out, but the man had nonchalantly said, “Stick it together.”

She put the marriage certificate under her pillow and lay down with her eyes closed.

…

Jessica had to wake up early to prepare breakfast.

Little Winson’s tiny and soft body curled up against her leg as he looked up at her and showed her his little, white teeth. “Mama, morning.”

Jessica bent over and pinched her son’s pillowy cheeks. She carried him up and then turned down the fire on the stove before she carried him back to the nursery.

Winson was a little over a year old. He could barely walk and could only say simple words, but he was a naughty imp. Ever since he knew how to walk, he always climbed out of his bed.

Jessica changed his diapers and then dressed him up like a cute little prince. She then brought him to the bathroom to brush his only teeth. After the little imp was clean, he ran out while Jessica was cleaning up the bathroom.

Jesscia put some baby powder on her palm before she went after her son in the corridor.

Blake lifted that little imp of his son with his strong arms as he carried the tiny plump body steadily.

Blake’s shirt was free of wrinkles and it was coupled with formal long pants. He also had his coat in his hand, which was his usual working attire.

The little imp was playing with his tie by putting it into his mouth. Jessica went up and pulled his hand away and shook her head at him. The little imp responded with a wide smile, showing off his white teeth.

Blake put the child down. Right after the little imp landed on his feet, he wanted to escape, but Jessica caught him and smeared the baby powder on his face.

It was then that a burnt smell filled the air. Shocked, Jessica bolted up and ran to the kitchen, but she accidentally kicked the leg of the chair.

“Ugh!” Her hoarse voice grunted in annoyance as though an amateur was playing an untuned violin forcefully.

Blake frowned when he heard the vexed noise. Jessica quickly lowered her painful grunts and hopped back to the kitchen nervously.

Jessica was mute; she could not talk.