No Longer The Naive Luna

Freya’s POV

"Everything looks fine for you and the baby, ma'am," the doctor assured. I released a sigh of satisfaction as she began packing her equipment, preparing to leave.

"But, ma'am, I suggest you come to the hospital soon. It's best if you lodge with us," the doctor recommended after finishing packing her suitcase.

"Okay, no problem," I replied. "I'll come to the lodge today."

The doctor gave a short bow, shifted into her wolf form, and then left the room.

I stretched and stood up from the bed. Pregnancy had wrought a significant change in me – my skin glowed, and my feet had grown bigger. Most importantly, I was beginning to feel happy again.

I had saved enough money to leave after delivering my baby. While most wolves in the pack opted for a natural birth, I decided on an operation. I couldn't risk losing my baby. Opening the wardrobe, I retrieved a packed bag containing my clothes and belongings. I had already made up my mind to leave the pack immediately after giving birth; returning to this place was never an option. I refused to raise my child in such an environment.

Leaving with Rowan's child wouldn't impact him much since Callista was also expecting his baby—a boy, if rumors were to be believed. Ever since the incident nine months ago, I had barely exchanged words with either Callista or Rowan. He maintained his stony silence, and so did I.

I packed all I needed and headed straight to the hospital without anyone's assistance. Memories of my marriage to Rowan five years ago flooded my mind. He was sweet and caring, despite being the pack's Alpha.

Now, here I am, with nobody showing concern for my well-being. I managed my way to the hospital and was promptly assisted by a nurse who helped me settle into the ward. As my due date approached, the doctors began their work.

"Now, ma'am, this potion will make you fall asleep," one of the doctors explained as I lay on the operation table, ready to deliver my baby, with a group of four surgeons standing over me.

"In a few hours, the potion will wear off, and you'll be able to see your baby," the doctor said, offering a small smile.

I managed only a nod, feeling nervous and apprehensive.

The doctor opened my mouth and poured the potion in. I gulped it down, and my eyes started drooping immediately. The doctor gently closed my eyes, and that was the last thing I remembered as I drifted into unconsciousness.

The first thing I saw when my eyes fluttered open was Maia and Fenris, their figures blurry. Confusion swept over me. Why were my step-sister and brother here, whispering in the corner of the ward with troubled expressions?

Still dizzy from the after-effects of the potion, my immediate concern was my baby. Slowly raising my head, I glanced sideways at the baby cot beside my bed, expecting to see the little one I had carried for nine months. The anticipation was strange, and I didn't know how to react upon seeing the life I had brought into the world. However, the cot was empty. Confused, I turned to face Maia and Fenris.

They hadn't noticed I was awake, speaking in hushed tones with their backs to me.

"Maia? Fenris? Where is my child?" I asked in a cracked voice.

They both startled when they heard my voice and hurried over to my bedside.

"Freya, how are you feeling?" Maia asked gently, stroking my hair.

"Maia, where is my child?" I repeated, trying to sit up, ignoring her question.

Maia and Fenris exchanged looks. "Freya, you need to calm down," Fenris said gently, worry evident in his eyes.

"Where is my child?" I asked again, this time with more intensity, my heart beating fast as I struggled to keep my voice stable.

"Just calm down, Freya," Fenris urged gently.

"I need to know where my child is Fenris, where is he?" I couldn't quite keep my voice from shaking anymore, I was already feeling strange.

At that moment, the doctor walked into the ward and approached me.

"Doctor, where's my child... I keep asking them... where is he... is he with a nurse? Is he..." My voice trailed off as the doctor sighed, my mind already hinting at the obvious, but I wasn't ready to come to terms with it.

"I'm sorry, Freya," he said sadly.

"NO!" I shrieked.

"I... I don't know what happened. He seemed very healthy when we brought him out from the theater, and when we put him in the cot. But when we came a few hours later to check on him, he had stopped breathing. He had completely blackened. He was gone. I am sorry," the doctor narrated sadly.

"NO!" I tried to get up from the bed, but Fenris hugged me, restraining me from jumping off the bed to confront the doctor. "NO!" I screamed and sobbed uncontrollably, squeezing Fenris's body.

Maia went to my other side, attempting to console me. The doctor's words kept echoing in my head. "...He was gone, I am sorry... he was gone, I am sorry…”

At that moment, I noticed the door flung open, and Rowan walked in.

My teary eyes trailed him as he walked past me to the other end of the room to a bedside. That's when I realized that Callista and I had been admitted to the same hospital and given birth on the same day. She appeared happy with her child in her arms, strangely ignoring the wails and sobs in the room, holding fast to her child without caring about me. As my best friend, I never thought she could be this mean to me. Rowan spent a few minutes talking with her and then made a beeline to my bed.

"What do you want?" Fenris snarled as Rowan got closer. Rowan ignored him and steadied his gaze on mine. I was still crying silently on my bed.

"How are you doing, Freya?" he asked, ignoring Fenris, and I could feel his concern, but why would he care now?

"Leave her alone," Fenris snarled.

"Maybe you have forgotten, Fenris, but you are only the Beta of this pack. I am the Alpha. You will speak to me with respect," Rowan said to him coldly.

"Respect?" Fenris laughed humorlessly. "I lost all the iota of respect I had for you when you cheated on my step-sister with her best friend, you silly excuse for a man!"

Rowan snarled, and his claws extended from his fingers. "Pick your next words very carefully, Fenris," he said angrily.

Fenris got up from his chair and confronted Rowan. "Or what? What are you going to do, Rowan?" he whispered defiantly.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, please," the doctor nervously intervened.

They stood there, glaring at each other until Rowan finally turned and faced me instead. I weakly watched them as they performed the drama perfectly. None of them had cared when I needed them most in the past year, so why the pretense?

"I heard you lost your child," he said.

"What? Do you suddenly care about the child now? After nine months?" I asked furiously, glaring at him through red eyes.

"I just wanted to—"

"Don't act like you care now. You never cared, Rowan. You will never care. Leave me alone!" I shrieked at him.

Rowan gave me one last look of fury, then turned and walked away.

"YEAH, GO! GO TO HELL, ROWAN! I HATE YOU!" I screamed at him as he walked out of the ward and slammed the door.

I instantly collapsed back into my bed and wept my eyes out. Fenris and Maia came closer and hugged me tight. Although I was not happy with them either, I needed the hug, and it helped.

***

The sound of the miniature casket hitting the ground seemed to echo loudly in my head.

I stood together with Fenris and Maia, both dressed in complete black, hand in hand with me, doing their best to console me.

The diggers began to scoop sand back on top of the casket, and the tears I had been fighting to keep at bay all afternoon broke loose again, streaming down my face. Maia embraced me.

After several minutes, the last bit of sand was scooped and poured onto the grave. The ground was level again. It had been done; my child was buried.

Maia took a bouquet of flowers from her bag and placed it gently on the grave. It was then I remembered I hadn't bought flowers for him. I couldn't bear to look at what he looked like.

I turned and walked back towards my car. "Are you sure you can drive yourself home, Freya?" Maia asked me with concern.

"Yes," I answered firmly, though my voice was terribly parched and cracked from days of incessant crying.

"You sure?" Fenris asked with uncertainty. "Perhaps I should..."

"No!" I interrupted swiftly. "I will drive myself." I just wanted to be alone.

I got into my car, waved one last time at Fenris and Maia, and then drove off.

I drove while still sobbing quietly on the road that led to the wolf house. I had planned never to go back there with my child after giving birth, but the unexpected happened.

I would just pack my bags, take all my savings, and quietly leave for good. Rowan didn't care, nobody cared. I couldn't continue to live in bitterness anymore. I still didn't have an idea where I would go, but I wanted it far away from this miserable life.

My mind drifted to my once best life with Rowan, how loving and caring he was. He used to be the best gift the moon goddess had given me. My life changed, and I thought maybe because I couldn't give him a child, that's why he was acting off. Little did I know he was betraying me with my best friend.

My head was pounding as if someone was smashing a sledgehammer on my skull. I opened the glove compartment of the car, brought out a bottle of whiskey, and took a swig from it.

I continued drinking, getting dizzier and dizzier, accelerating the car to go faster and faster. I wanted to be strong, I didn't want to cry anymore, I didn't want to feel any pain again.

I turned a sharp corner, and I was suddenly blinded by the full headlights of an eighteen-wheeler truck coming straight at me.

I let out a scream as my car smashed into the eighteen-wheeler. I suddenly slipped into unconsciousness. This was my end. At least, I was going to reunite with my baby, and for some minutes, I regretted not taking a glance at him to see what he looked like.